The first time I ever experienced spiritual dryness was right after my first high school Catholic conference back in 2014 (it was a Steubenville Conference!). It was three days of uninterrupted fun, fellowship, and a lot of prayer, reflection, and reconciliation. It was the perfect Catholic bubble. I didn’t want to leave because what was awaiting me at home was significantly less enjoyable and comforting than this conference at which I praised the Lord. Did the conference fill me spiritually? It absolutely did. But, at the time, I was not as strong in my Faith as I am today and I didn’t know how to keep my own prayer life up. Nothing truly could have prepared me for the spiritual dryness I felt in the weeks after the conference had come to an end. What Does Spiritual Dryness Feel Like? The Catechism of the Catholic Church describes spiritual dryness as “belonging to contemplative prayer when the heart is separated from God with no taste for thoughts, memories, and feelings, especially spiritual ones” (CCC 2731). In my experience, it feels just like that. It’s like walking in the desert looking for nourishment and not being able to find any. It makes me feel as if I don’t want to pray. It’s almost like I don’t feel God's presence even though I know—in my heart of hearts—He’s there. It is discouraging, especially when establishing a consistent prayer life just like I was when I first went to the conference. What to Do When Experiencing Spiritual Dryness We can all experience spiritual dryness from time to time, even the Saints did! Saint Teresa of Calcutta experienced spiritual dryness for more than 50 years of her life. We all experience it, but what makes the difference is knowing how to overcome it. Remind yourself why you believe. During that same conference, I was introduced to my personal remedy for spiritual dryness. There is this song I always listen to whenever I can feel myself slipping back into spiritual dryness, it's called "Desert Song" by Hillsong Worship. In the song there is a line that says, “I will bring praise, I will bring praise. No weapon formed against me shall remain, I will rejoice, I will declare that God is my victory and He is here.” This song, and specifically this line, helps to bring me back and remind me of who God is, of how good He is, and why I believe in my Faith. God is greater than any spiritual dryness. When I remember that, it starts the process of drawing me out of my spiritual dryness. Find your personal remedy that can draw you out of a spiritual dryness: maybe this song might also be it for you, or it could be a book, a Bible verse, a selfless act, time in Adoration, or anything that will remind you of what you believe. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Faith vs. feeling. To put it simply, we cannot solely base our faith on feelings alone, because if we did, a majority of us would not be Catholic today. I'll be honest, there are many times when I do not “feel” like praying, but I still do it because I value my relationship with God and I want to keep the lines of communication open. Sometimes we cannot feel Gods’ presence (like Mother Teresa) but that doesn’t mean that He’s not there. If Mother Teresa had based her faith off of when she could and could not feel the presence of Jesus she would not have accomplished all the amazing things she did in this world! Do not overload your prayer life. Looking back on my first experience with spiritual dryness I realized that my problem was the fact that I overloaded my prayer life. I tried to incorporate all of praying that I was doing over the three-day weekend (that was a full 3 days of practically uninterrupted prayer time) into my everyday schedule that consisted of a family, a job, and school. As much as I would have wanted to keep up that life, I would need 48 hours in a day to do so, and that was just not feasible. So the moment that I couldn’t juggle everything in my life plus my newly-found prayer life, I found myself falling into a spiritual dryness. Make an achievable prayer life, and once you have successfully established that, increase it by including a new way to pray or increase the time you spend in prayer. It's not about how much prayer you do that matters to God, it's the quality of the time you spend with Him. Thirty minutes of authentic prayer will be better for your relationship with God than 1 hour of day dreaming with a dash of prayer. God's Love Never Runs Dry The most important thing to remember when it comes to spiritual dryness is the fact that God still loves you! He always has, He always will, and He will never stop. God is always with you when you are praising and praying your heart out at a Catholic conference, and He is with you in the middle of the desert—we can take heart in this fact. “This is the moment of sheer faith clinging faithfully to Jesus in his agony and in his tomb” (CCC 2731).   [bctt tweet="On Spiritual Dryness #BISblog //" via="no"]   Written by Samantha Cameron. Find out more about her here.

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking more about grief. We'd love for you to join the conversation! When my sweet Momma passed away, I only wanted one thing from her apartment. It was a statue of a young girl praying in front of a crucifix. It was made in Hungary, the place of the first twenty-one years of her life. This little statue embodies my Mom. She was humble, trusting, and devoted to the Lord. Though her tiny frame had become hunched, her legs swollen, and her hair snow-white, her green eyes sparkled with kindness and her smile conveyed God’s love. She spent her days spreading joy to all in her path, which was many because she lived in an assisted living facility. When I used to visit, we bumped into many folks and they always stopped us so they could tell me how my Momma never said anything bad about anyone, how she was an inspiration walking bent over and dragging her swollen legs, how she was always on her way to spread cheer or bring a card/gift to someone in need. Her entire life was dedicated to serving the Lord by lovingly taking care of her family, friends, and all in need. My Mom, My Best Friend Growing up with all brothers, my Momma became my sister, best girlfriend, and Mom rolled into one. We spoke on the phone every day since I left for college. Due to COVID-19, I was not able to be with my Momma for five months. The closest I got to her was a few twenty-minute visits through the window, which was a step-up from waving to her from the third-floor balcony. My dear Mom would ask when I would be able to visit her again, attend church together, and enjoy Sunday brunch. I tried to give encouragement, but the months were dragging on. There are no words to describe the agonizing pain of being separated from a loved one. I know there are many sisters who understand this torture. It was especially difficult because she was isolated and hardly had a chance to walk or leave her apartment. Finally Together Again The first time I could be with her was when the nurse called to tell me that my Mom was doing poorly in the hospital and I should come right away. She had been admitted at the beginning of August. My husband drove me to the hospital because I could not see through the veil of tears. I walked into the room to find her unresponsive with a large oxygen mask on her face. Uncontrollable sobs left my body and the nurse hugged me. After five long months, I could only tell her close to her ear how much I love her and how much Jesus loves her. The nurse allowed me to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet before they took her to the ICU for more intensive treatment.   Unfortunately, she did not respond to the aggressive treatment and she was placed on palliative care. My family and I did not know how long she would be with us and we did not think she would be conscious, but the Lord gave us a miraculous gift. She was able to speak to us a little, though it was difficult. She never opened her eyes except once when she smiled at me. It filled me with joy and I asked my Momma if she saw me. She said, “no.” That was hard to hear, but I was still grateful we could communicate. I asked her what she saw and she said, “Light and flowers.” We were able to express our great love for each other and prayed together before she passed. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Consoled by the Comforter As I experienced excruciating grief, I thought and prayed about what she said. I felt the Holy Spirit guide me to John 8:12: I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. Then He steered me to a quote from Saint Gaspar del Bufalo that I had never seen: "In the garden of the Church, Mary gathers three flowers and places them into your hands: the white lily, the red rose, the violet. The lily is the symbol of purity of conscience of life. The rose represents that burning love which purifies, perfects, and elevates the heart to God. This love is then seen in great charity to one's neighbor. The violet is the emblem of true humility and self-sacrifice. The picture of the lily draws you away from the world. The image of the rose unites you with the heart of Jesus. Finally, the violet makes you partakers of the fruits of the Cross of Jesus. May the most holy Virgin who presents you with these flowers, find them still in your hands in your last agony as a pledge for entrance into the home to which only the pure lovers of Jesus Crucified are admitted." After reading this verse and this quote, I am filled with joy, awe, and peace in the Lord. I believe that my Mom had a bouquet of lilies, roses, and violets in her little hands to offer Him. He Always Gives Us What We Need My pastor told us that the Lord does not always grant a “yes” to all our petitions, but He will always grant us spiritual gifts if we ask for them with a humble and contrite heart. Dear sisters, this may cause some pain and discomfort as we are molded in His image; but like childbirth, it is so incredibly worth it. The more we become like Him, the more we are filled with His indescribable joy, peace, and love which will overflow to all in our path. Some ways that have helped me to live each day with purity, love, and devotion to Our Lord and neighbor, humility, and self-sacrifice are: Every morning, I imagine the Blessed Mother handing me a lily, rose, and violet and I pray to the Lord and ask for Our Lady’s intercession to help me embody these virtues so that I can give all three flowers to Him when the day is done. Call upon our friends, the Saints. Pray to them for their intercession and post their quotes in your line of vision. What the Saints Say about Virtue in the Face of Sorrow Purity // Saint Peter Julian Eymard said, “We must be pure. I do not speak merely of the purity of the senses. We must observe great purity in our will, in our intentions, in all our actions.” Love of God and Neighbor // Saint Vincent de Paul said, "We must love our neighbor as being made in the image of God and as an object of His love." St. Vincent de Paul Humility // Saint Teresa of Calcutta said, “Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity, and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted, and ardent. If you are humble nothing will touch you, neither praise nor disgrace, because you know what you are.” Self-Sacrifice // Pope Saint John Paul II said, "There is no place for selfishness—and no place for fear! Do not be afraid, then, when love makes demands. Do not be afraid when love requires sacrifice."   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Grief // Flowers from My Mother #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]   Bonnie Kate is married to her Saint Joseph, momma to two amazing people, a nurse by trade, and passionate about the Catholic Faith. She co-leads a Parish Bible Study and is a Eucharistic Minister for the homebound. Bonnie loves her sisters in Christ (she grew up with a lot of brothers), getting lost in nature, spreading encouragement, creating with words, Saint quotes, feeding people (she is Hungarian), and Holy Spirit moments. You can find out more about her here. HIS WORD CHANGES LIVES God is speaking to you through His Word. In this personal study, you will learn to hear God's voice by reading slowly and praying deeply. BEGIN THE JOURNEY

For all of you are children of the light... // 1 Thessalonians 5:5 Love this beautiful print from Leah of Fearfully Made. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking more about grief. We'd love for you to join the conversation! “Ping!” An incoming text from my mama arrived. After an innocuous family update, she extended an invitation to join them for Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities open to anyone who wished to come. And the text that should have been a bright spot in my day simultaneously filled me with a deep sadness. The text had been directed to all of my siblings. Including my brother. My little brother, Matt. Matt, who has distanced himself from our family. The one who has claimed a new “tribe,” a family of his own making. His choices and lifestyle have continuously removed him further from communion within our family, and it is a different, but very real grief that I have experienced in this loss. And I especially experience it around the holidays. You Never Think Your Sibling Will Leave Growing up in our large, extremely close-knit family, I never imagined this would ever be the case. I foresaw future Thanksgivings where we returned home to my parent’s abode, gathering around their long wooden table, swapping stories of days gone by while favorite dishes from bygone years were made just for the occasion. I dreamt of late-night assembly of thousand-piece puzzles while aunts and uncles bounce the newest members upon their knees. But instead, there’s always a piece missing. As the oldest, I’ve always felt a strong need to be the protector. To be the one upholding family loyalty. As one of the middle children in our clan, Matt was always the bringer of joy. He tied the older siblings to the younger in an endearing way. Even decades later, I remember rocking his pudgy little baby body, chasing his toddler self around, and laughing at his antics as he imitated various characters. And of us all, I never foresaw him leaving the Faith or denouncing us as his family. He had drawn especially near to the Eucharist when he first graduated and moved out, but as he delved into his first years of adulthood, his life took a downhill turn. Instead of calling to share what was happening in his life, he started dodging calls. And over the past couple of years, he’s phased himself out of gatherings, updating us on his life, and just being a part of our family. Trying to Understand Amidst the Pain Peering in from the outside, I try making sense of it: he’s hurting and broken, he’s wallowing in addiction, or maybe he just feels like he’s lost any connection to us. Maybe he’s scared to reach back out. Perhaps he really does feel intense anger towards us. For all I know, there’s even more that I’m unaware of. Matt exists on this earth, but his removal from being our brother is tangible. I’ll be conversing with a different sibling and a story will be recalled from our childhood. “Do you remember that time when Matt…” and it trails off into the sadness that we aren’t sure will ever be assuaged. A realization that we don’t know if he’ll ever return. If he’ll ever even want to be present with us again. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY What Can I Do? The ache is still real. A hole is left by his absence, and I pray daily for it to be filled once again. And so, in the meantime, I do what I am able. I offer Masses, Holy Hours, and novenas. I live out my Faith as best I can, not bending to fit what Matt might see as acceptable, but in pursuance of the Truth. I’ve had to step back, remember I cannot fix him, but can only bring compassion and charity to whatever contact remains. I have found great consolation in the Saints who especially are close to families. Saints like Saint Monica who prayed for seventeen years with great faith and perseverance for her husband and son. Or Saints Benedict and Scholastica, twins who remained close their whole life despite both taking holy orders where they only saw one another once a year. Saint Marguerite Bays endured a very difficult family life, being a single woman who took care of a sick sister-in-law who harassed her, a sister who had a failed marriage, a brother who ended up in prison, and a nephew born out of wedlock whom she took in to raise. The overarching love each of these Saints had for their families speaks of the Grace they were given. Praying for Our Estranged Siblings My brother was loved into being by the same One Who created your fathers, mothers, siblings, and children. He has hurt me so much, but even more so, I am heartbroken by his denial of what I know to be good, what will unlock true happiness in his life. I remain hopeful, though, and keep him close in prayers. No matter who you’re missing this holiday season, perhaps in spite of the pain they’ve caused you, join me in praying for the return of our loved ones to Christ’s Holy Church.   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Grief // My Estranged Sibling #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]   This post was contributed anonymously.

My soul is thirsting for you. // Psalm 63:2 Love this beautiful print from Elma of A Yearning Heart. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! My husband and I wanted to start a family almost immediately after we married. After a year of trying to conceive without achieving a pregnancy, we went to a fertility physician who specializes in NaPro Technology, a natural restorative approach to reproduction utilizing the Creighton Method. Though we remain hopeful that we will conceive, the grieving process has been difficult. Some weeks are filled with joyful anticipation, while others are consumed by sadness and defeat. What Has Helped Me Grieve Infertility One in eight couples experience infertility, yet it remains a topic often left undiscussed, and many couples walk through their journeys in silence. My own husband and I spent a substantial amount of time grieving in silence. Through the Lord’s invitation to be vulnerable, though, we have learned of some ways to ease the heartbreak of infertility. Having Conversations Sharing any personal hardship with others—especially infertility—is difficult. It’s natural to feel afraid that our friends or loved ones won’t react in the way we hope, and it’s easy to give into feeling shame in the face of vulnerability. But the Lord gives us community so that we don’t have to shoulder our burdens alone. If you have struggled to share your experience with infertility with others, start by sharing your story with one or two friends or family members. The people who love you will listen to you. They will give you a shoulder to cry on. They will ask you questions. They will pray for you. They will support you. And though the grief might not dissipate completely, you will start to feel free, heard, and loved. Feel and Pray It’s okay to feel sad upon reading another negative pregnancy test. It’s okay to cry on the difficult days. It’s okay to mourn for the child you don’t have. The Lord allows these emotions, and it’s healthy to feel them. However, this isn’t a place where God wants us to dwell. He doesn’t want hopelessness to become the disposition of our hearts. Instead, He wants to use our suffering to help us grow in virtue. When feelings of sadness or even bitterness, resentment, jealousy, or anger creep in, acknowledge them and then lean into the Holy Spirit. Pray for the antithetical fruit of the negative spirit. Ask the Lord to fill you with grace, patience, and love to replace bitterness and resentment. Invite the Holy Spirit to render your heart humble in the face of jealousy. Pray for joy to replace anger. Make space for these virtues to transform and heal your heart. [bctt tweet="God doesn’t want hopelessness to become the disposition of our hearts. Instead, He wants to use our suffering to help us grow in virtue. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] [elementor-template id="415212"] Lean into Your Spouse Like many difficulties faced by a husband and a wife, infertility has the potential to bear fruit in a marriage. Though each spouse often grieves differently, it is important to lean on one another. Consider doing one of the following with your husband to unite your grief and heal together: Pray a novena to Saint Gianna Beretta Molla, the patron Saint of infertility and pregnancy. Talk about the phases of your cycle. Share with your husband different markers you are charting throughout your cycle. Go to doctor appointments together. Many fertility physicians encourage this. Go on dates and cherish each other’s company. Remember that you and your husband are already a family. Meditate on Scripture Scripture is layered with reminders that the Lord’s timing and plan surpass anything that we envision for our lives. Try memorizing one of the following verses to recite as a reminder that the Lord is walking with you on this journey. // “Is anything too marvelous for the Lord to do?” -Genesis 18:14 // “Rejoice in hope, endure in affliction, persevere in prayer.” -Romans 12:12 // “And behold, I am with you always, until the end of the age.” -Matthew 28:20 // “Lord, I call to you; hasten to me; listen to my plea when I call. Let my prayer be incense before you; my uplifted hands an evening offering.” -Psalm 141:1-215 // “For I know well the plans I have in mind for you—oracle of the LORD—plans for your welfare and not for woe, so as to give you a future of hope.” -Jeremiah 29:11 One Day at a Time Infertility is a heavy cross to carry, but the grief doesn’t have to be shouldered alone. Have the difficult conversations, lean into your loved ones, pray without ceasing, and trust in the Lord. He can transform your mourning and your heart, one day at a time. Does anyone else carry this cross? We'd love to pray for you. If you want more on the Church's rich teachings on these engaging topics, our best-selling study, "Blessed Conversations: Rooted," dives into the Catechism's teachings and now offers a video companion series along with it featuring Theological Editor Susanna Spencer and Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Get it here.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Infertility #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]   Mercedes Shirts works as a sixth grade teacher in Idaho. When not indulging in a good read and black coffee, she enjoys cooking, hiking with her husband and working in her garden. You can find more about here.

Rejoice and be glad, for your reward will be great in heaven. // Matthew 5:12 Love this beautiful print from Leah of Fearfully Made. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! I was talking with my husband last night about my faith journey, since it started in autumn. Four years ago, at this time, I was at my lowest spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically. I was so badly beaten down by my addiction that I had lost all hope for a better life. Failing to Heal Myself I’d tried everything (or so I thought) to get and stay clean. The last house on the street—the one thing I hadn’t tried—was prayer. In rehab, I was so desperate to not feel sick that, one day, I knelt at the end of my bed, bowed my head, and asked God to take away the pain. A total foxhole prayer. Imagine my surprise when I started to feel better that night. I kept praying, my brain began to heal, and I started to believe in something. An avowed atheist, I started to believe in a power greater than myself. [bctt tweet="I kept praying, my brain began to heal, and I started to believe in something. An avowed atheist, I started to believe in a power greater than myself. #blessedchats" via="no"] Jesus...but Religion? For two years after leaving rehab, I continued go pray. But I couldn’t decide if I wanted to get back into religion. I started attending evangelical churches with my husband. I really wanted to feel a pull toward Protestantism. I attended different services but they they all somehow felt empty, devoid of the spirituality and fullness of the Catholic Mass of my youth. The pull I felt was toward Catholicism, the one Faith I didn’t want to return to. In my mind, Catholicism was linked with childhood boredom and difficult high school years in Catholic school. Uh uh. No way. I resisted, but God kept calling. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Coming Home Two years ago, I was fortunate to find the Saint Joseph Retreat House (and the Oblates of the Virgin Mary) where I began to turn toward God and listen to His calling for me. A year ago, I made the decision to return fully to the Faith I was confirmed in. I’ve been exploring modesty, veiling, and the Traditional Latin Mass (unthinkable!). I can feel in my bones that this is where I belong. When I think back to the broken, confused, sick person I was four years ago, I now feel compassion instead of disgust. I truly believe that if not for the hell my addiction brought me through, and the spiritual emptiness that accompanied it, I would never have turned toward God, Who was there waiting all along.   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction // Substance Abuse #BISblog #blessedchats" via="no"]   Allison is a recent returnee to the Catholic Faith. A psychology major in college, she works with people struggling with substance abuse. Allison lives in Massachusetts with her husband and two dogs.

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! My first experience of an eating disorder occurred when I was seven years old. After coming home from school one day, my parents gathered my siblings and I into our family room for a very hard conversation. They had decided to send our sister, a young teenager at the time, across the country to a treatment center for those struggling with eating disorders, a place they felt would help her with her anorexia. Until that moment, I hadn’t realized that my sister had any kind of disorder. Something my parents had been observing for some time. As a seven year old, I didn’t fully understand what this meant. But over the next twenty years, I would learn. I don’t think I had seen many of my siblings cry before this family room discussion. We all experienced great vulnerability as we watched her spiral in and out of more treatment centers than I can count. We even strategically planned out family interventions. Needless to say, for most of my lifetime, this eating disorder prevented my sister and I from having a strong and healthy relationship. The Suffering That Ruled My Life At times, I let my suffering rule my life. For too long I had a cold and bitter heart towards her, allowing resentment to build. Everyone in my family—even my sister herself—prayed that she would hit rock bottom. We all knew that would be what it took to help her get better. Then, a couple of years ago, it finally happened. My sister’s body was so weak and malnourished that she ended up in the hospital. For a period of time she was so out of it that she didn’t even recognize or react to my parents when they went to visit her. Despite the severity of her state, I found myself livid with her, with zero desire to speak to her or talk to her again. [elementor-template id="415212"] Healing In time, I could feel my anger eating at me, so I sought out a Catholic therapist. Through a couple of sessions with him, and eventually therapy with my sister, a new seed was planted in our relationship. It took baby steps, and a lot of vulnerability. But slowly, ever so slowly, I saw new life springing up both in my sister and in a friendship with her. Her rock bottom experience was one that she describes as feeling like she had died. She said that she could see her life flash before her eyes, and the reality of the possibility of falling out of God’s sanctifying grace became very real. In all of this, what struck her is that God did not abandon her. And in His mercy, He gave her a second chance at life. Since this experience, she has found renewed healing and strength through frequenting the Sacraments, drawing close to the Saints, having a more consistent life of prayer, and transparency in her relationships. Sacramental Grace She finds great comfort through the priest, in persona Christi. Especially in the Sacrament of Reconciliation. This is a powerful Sacrament for her, because while it is humbling, it forces her to really come face to face with her sins and name them. Here she finds great comfort in God’s forgiveness and His second chances. Encouragement from the Saints My sister said that what has helped her most in times of struggle, are recalling the many times that God’s abundant forgiveness is expressed through the lives of the Saints. She has grown close to two in particular. She drew close to Saint Faustina through reading about God’s message of mercy in her diary, The Diary of Saint Faustina, as well as Saint Margaret Mary Alacoque, who promoted devotion to the Sacred Heart. A quotation by Saint Faustina which gives her inspiration is: Jesus, source of my life, sanctify me. O my strength, fortify me. My commander, fight for me. Prayer My sister shared with me how her experience really taught her of God’s presence and faithfulness. It showed her that if anyone ever abandons their prayer life, it is never too late to come back, because when we ask, God is faithful. Each and every day, she continues to ask for His grace. Transparency One of the biggest healing components that has brought my sister and I closer together is transparency. Secrecy is imprisoning. With addictions and eating disorders, there comes a lot of shame and guilt, but there is power in openness, honesty, and asking for help. The Whole Person While this life of faith has proved essential to my sister’s recovery, I cannot leave out the help she continues to receive through an experienced therapist and dietician. During early recovery and high dress, her support team is especially important. Her recovery and healing requires an integrated approach to taking care of her body (physically), mind (mentally), and soul (spiritually). An approach which is healthy for all of us. Is there something in your life that you feel called to seek God’s healing from? He is waiting for you, and there is grace in the Sacraments. If you want more on the Church's rich teachings on these engaging topics, our best-selling study, "Blessed Conversations: Rooted," dives into the Catechism's teachings and now offers a video companion series along with it featuring Theological Editor Susanna Spencer and Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Get it here.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction // Eating Disorder #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]   This post was contributed anonymously.

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about addiction, compulsion, and loving those who suffer this cross. We'd love for you to join the conversation! I received a phone call from a high school friend recently. Her adult child struggles with alcohol addiction. She wanted to know if I had any advice. “What’s been going on?” I asked. She began telling me what her daughter was doing: the rehabs attended, participation in out-patient treatment programs, going to Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) meetings, living in sober living, and finally relapse. Then her daughter repeated the whole process over again. My friend sounded tired and worried. I recognized the pain in her voice. “I’d like to tell you that you only have to do three simple things, and everything will be better. But recovery doesn’t work that way. It works the way that you just described it. There are often ups and downs. What are you doing to take care of yourself”? I asked. Loving Someone With an Alcohol Addiction I remember getting that question in my very first twelve-step meeting for those who have been touched by the addictions of others. I lost count of the number of times I was asked that same question. I’d come to my first meeting with a notebook and pen. I was going to find out how to fix my son and his addiction. Instead, they asked me to look at myself. What is wrong with these people? I wondered. My son is the one with the problem. In recovery, we learn that addiction is a family disease. I can’t fix them. But the changes that I make with myself often have positive effects on my relationship with my addicted loved ones and my family as a whole. Many times, when we get better, they do too. [elementor-template id="415212"] Support and Resources I was a little nervous after that first meeting, though. While 12-step meetings are spiritual, they are not religious. When they spoke about a ‘higher power’ or the ‘god of my understanding,’ I wanted to be sure that what I was doing didn’t go against the teachings of the Church. We were in such a vulnerable position. I needed to be sure. I came home and Googled the history of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). I was so surprised to learn that a Jesuit priest, Ed Dowling, SJ, became friends with Bill Wilson, a co-founder of AA. Father Ed had taken some of his Jesuit brothers to an AA meeting and had discovered that the twelve steps were not only similar to the spiritual exercises of Saint Ignatius of Loyola, they also appeared in the same order. He was so intrigued that he made a trip to New York to meet Bill Wilson in person. Eventually, Father Ed became Bill W.’s spiritual advisor. I felt better about these meetings. If a priest thought that they were okay and that they followed a similar path to Saint Ignatius' spiritual exercises, then this had to be the way to move forward. The only problem was, I didn’t know who Saint Ignatius of Loyola was. And, I’d never heard of his spiritual exercises. The Spiritual Exercises I learned that Saint Ignatius founded the Jesuit (Society of Jesus) order. He was a soldier who was wounded in the battle of Pamplona 1521 and while he was recuperating, he asked for books on chivalry and knights in battle. He was a very proud man. Instead, they only had books about Jesus and the lives of the Saints. Ignatius began to be moved by these books. He realized that he felt better when his focus was on Jesus than on worldly matters. He devoted his life to helping others become spiritually fit. He taught his followers to go out and look for God in all things. I began to read every book that I could find on the subject of the spiritual exercises and looked for their connection to the twelve steps. The more I learned, the better I began to feel. As a result, I grew to know God in a very intimate way. Even in the midst of active addiction, I began to trust God more and more. I trusted that he had control of our situation. I trusted that his journey with my son was right where he needed it to be. Relationship Eventually I realized that the twelve steps and the spiritual exercises are all about relationships: to God first, to self, second, and then to others. Isn’t that interesting? We heal when in relationship. The work that I was doing made me feel…high! I couldn’t believe how few people in the Church knew about these tools. I got busy and began working on a book that uses the twelve steps and Ignatian spirituality to help families heal from addiction. My Piece of Guidance If I were to think of one thing to tell my friend, I think it would be this: with the disease of addiction, we are as sick as our secrets. Don’t isolate. Don’t allow fear to keep you from reaching out for help. [bctt tweet="With the disease of addiction, we are as sick as our secrets. Don’t isolate. Don’t allow fear to keep you from reaching out for help. #BlessedChats #BISblog //" via="no"] The stigma of addiction is real. It is the great barrier to many people finding hope and help. If you haven’t been touched by this disease, learn what you can so that you can understand the disease of addiction. It is important that we demystify this disease and humanize those who suffer from it. If you have been touched by this disease, know that you are not alone. We're praying for all of you struggling with substance abuse or loving someone who does. If you want more on the Church's rich teachings on these engaging topics, our best-selling study, "Blessed Conversations: Rooted," dives into the Catechism's teachings and now offers a video companion series along with it featuring Theological Editor Susanna Spencer and Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Get it here.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Addiction #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]   Written by Jean Heaton. Find out more about her here.

You shall love the Lord, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind. // Matthew 22:37 These words are for you. Download this print from Mariana Pimiento of Big Apple Catholic from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this for free! Log in and download! Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

When my oldest son turned two, I made him a three-car train cake out of banana breads baked in different-sized rectangular loaf pans. I even carved out a space for a Teddy Graham conductor in the engine. As I was crafting it, my husband and dad made good-natured jests on my progress. Once they were in another room, working on their own project, my mom leaned in to reassure me. It was okay if they didn’t get it, she told me. This was what mattered. What she meant was not that I had made something Pinterest-worthy (I don’t think we knew what Pinterest was then), but that I had spent time and effort to create something that would make our son smile and that he would eat with delight. Something that would make him feel special. Something that told him—in quick bread—how much I love him. Even if he wouldn’t necessarily remember this particular celebration later in life, that act of love was going to make a positive impact on him. The Spiritual Nature of Home My mom’s sentiment that day eight years ago came back to me as I reflected on Theology of Home II: The Spiritual Art of Homemaking by Carrie Gress and Noelle Mering, with photography by Kim Baile with Dori Greco Rutherford. What I was gifting my son with that train cake was an expression of what it is to be home. And now I can see that there was a powerful spiritual element at work in it that too often flies under the radar. As I read this book, it occurred to me (editor that I am), that the text could have been printed as a typical 6-by-9-inch paperback, all black and white. Instead, it’s this gorgeous hardcover, filled with intentional, beautiful photography that begs you to slow down and appreciate the work in your hands. There’s a wonderful interplay between the words and the images, so that the form and content together convey more deeply the message of this book. That message is the far-reaching value of generously inviting those around us to fully belonging in our homes. Realizing the Importance of Home This year, most of us have spent a lot more time in our homes than we used to. Remember when toilet paper was hard to find? One theory I’d read to explain that suggested that many people were so used to spending the majority of time outside their homes, they didn’t know how much their families or roommates used in a week! When toilet paper isn’t an issue, there is something lovely, familiar, and comforting about being truly at home. We all long for it in one way or another. But perhaps we aren’t all aware of how to build that, how to engage in what the authors call the “spiritual art” of making a home. [bctt tweet="There is something lovely, familiar, and comforting about being truly at home. But perhaps we aren’t all aware of how to build that, how to engage in the “spiritual art” of making a home. #BISblog //" via="no"] Perspective, Not Prescription This book doesn’t give specifics on how to do that. You won’t find interior design tips or recipes for brunch. That’s because this book isn’t a how-to; it’s a why. Why do we need to recover this art of homemaking? What purpose does it serve? First, we need to expand the idea of what “homemaking” is. It’s cooking and cleaning and folding laundry, yes, but more importantly, it’s the heart behind all that. It’s about being fruitful and receptive, generous and loving. It’s about making space in our lives to serve others, especially those closest to us. The seemingly mundane tasks of homemaking have gotten a bad rap in recent decades as mindless drudgery. But when we add a spirit of service and a love for others back into the equation, we start to see a celebration of what it is to be feminine, what it is to discover and live a variety of vocations. Home is for Everyone As I read, I wondered which of my friends I would share this book with. It resonated with me because it is written from a Catholic point of view and often makes reference to marriage and biological motherhood, all elements of my vocation. But I also appreciated the ways in which it reflects on spiritual motherhood and the positive ripple effect of homemaking that extends beyond one’s family. Homemaking is about welcoming, loving, knowing, and seeing the other within the home, whether that’s all day, every day, or in the time that’s not spent working outside the home. When the authors speak from experience, they don’t make known whose voice is being expressed. And when they invite other women to share their stories, they are women with a variety of experiences. Ultimately, this book isn’t about specifics; rather, it’s a rallying cry to start valuing what’s worth valuing in our lives, and so properly ordering all the rest. Have you read this book yet? What was your biggest takeaway?   [bctt tweet="BIS Reads // Theology of Home II #BISblog //" via="no"]   Lindsay Schlegel is a daughter of God who seeks to encourage, inspire, and lift up the contemporary woman to be all she was created to be. She’s the author of Don’t Forget to Say Thank You: And Other Parenting Lessons That Brought Me Closer to God, as well as shorter nonfiction and fiction pieces, both online and in print. With joy, she speaks about recognizing God’s voice and living the truth therein. Lindsay lives in New Jersey with her high-school-sweetheart-turned-husband and their kids. You can find out more about her here.   This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

As an Army family, we’ve lived all over and sometimes have not been near a Military base. So we’d look for the nearest civilian church to attend while in those areas. At one place we lived, the elderly priest who was presiding at daily Mass seemed to be just going through the motions. It distressed me greatly. I was concerned about the other believers in the pews, and there are more than you might expect at an early morning weekday Mass. He sat down during Communion and rarely looked up. His actions and speech, seemingly done by rote, especially during the Eucharistic Prayer and Consecration, were just not conveying any sense of joy, awe, or thanksgiving. That's what eucharisteo means: thanksgiving! Beyond Aggravation + Into Action I was concerned for this elderly gentleman who has been a priest for probably almost as long as I'd been alive (a long time!). And I started to wonder if things for him hadn't become "old hat," taken for granted, stale. That can happen in any vocation, role, or relationship. We can start to go through the motions in a marriage, a friendship, a career. Things that used to fill us with joy and gave us a bounce in our step and a smile on our face for seemingly no reason can dissipate. And so I prayed for him. I have a prayer that I've been praying for priests in general for a long time now, and I decided to pray very specifically for him. I didn't know him; I still don't. But he is God's emissary and he is in persona Christi. So he is deserving of my good will and concern. That prayer was simply: Lord, fill this priest with Resurrection joy and with ordination day enthusiasm and energy! Amen. I began praying that for him at every daily Mass I attended when he was there, and that was most of them. Miracles During the second week of my praying for him, this sweet soul had noticeably changed. There was definitely a conversion in his attitude and demeanor. He became so animated that he was asking if anyone was celebrating a birthday near the end of Mass, and one time gave us the final blessing twice because he just felt like it! I wanted to giggle. He was looking right at us with a twinkle in his eye! He was standing there straight and tall to distribute the Eucharist, the Body of Christ, to those of us who came forward to receive during the Heavenly banquet. Praise God! What an amazing change within such a short amount of time. I thanked God for what I witnessed. I don't know how much of an impact my personal prayer for this priest affected the changes we all witnessed, but I know that mine were sincere prayers that were borne of love and respect for a man of God who had sacrificed his entire life to be here and in other places to offer the Sacraments to the faithful. It was a reminder that I should always pray for our Church’s bishops and priests. May God continue to bless him with Resurrection joy and ordination day enthusiasm, with health and a clear mind, until He calls that good priest, that man of God, that faithful spiritual father, Home. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY The Importance of Praying for Priests I encourage each of you to consider praying more for our priests. Yes, individually, for your pastor and any associate pastors you might be blessed to have. Pray for the archbishop and auxiliary bishops of your diocese. Pray for any priest friends or acquaintances. Pray for that joy and enthusiasm so that those who are participating in the Mass from the congregation side and those on the altar, can be reminded of, and authentically thank God for, the sacred encounter with Christ they are engaging in at each Mass. If your pastor is a Military Chaplain, he has even more demands on his time and more to deal with in the Military culture, chains of command, and other unit or community duties to contend with. He probably needs some extra prayers to the Holy Spirit for peace and ordered thoughts. The priest's mindfulness of the Word proclaimed and the message shared can truly inspire, encourage, and edify the hearers. Of course, it doesn't matter if the priest who is celebrating the Eucharistic feast is absentminded, bored, or distracted. Christ is there, God is moving, and we are still receiving the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of our Lord. But the priest can help us to praise, glorify, bless, and adore God more fully and genuinely when he is exhibiting the proper mindful, reverent, and authentic demeanor because he is fully engaged, aware, and grateful for his irreplaceable, ordained responsibility in this "source and summit" of our Faith. In Gratitude and Grace Our priests are deserving of our prayers no matter where we are or who he is, but we should recall that they are in need of our prayers, as well. Pray for their good health, also. And make sure that you thank them for their sacrifice and service to the Body of Christ in their faith communities. It can only help and perhaps enhance their Resurrection joy and ordination day enthusiasm!   [bctt tweet="The Time I Prayed for a Priest (and a Miracle Happened) #BISblog //" via="no"]   Lynda MacFarland loves Jesus and her fondest desire is to encourage others in their faith journey toward Home. She prays often that the things she does will glorify God and advance His Kingdom. Lynda is the author of one book (so far!), Drowning In Lemonade: Reflections of an Army Wife. You can find out more about her here.

I was not raised in a Catholic home. In fact, I am the only Catholic in my whole family. I converted when I was 7 years old and I’ve been a practicing Catholic ever since. Because of this, growing up I never had friends who shared the Catholic Faith (although I did go to a Catholic Elementary school, none of my friends were really practicing Catholics). It didn’t really bother me because I had great, solid friendships! I joined my Church’s youth group when I was 13 and started building friendships with people who had a similar relationship with God and wanted to grow in that relationship. I really valued these friendships and they are people I am still friends with! But just because I made these new friendships with people who share the same Faith didn't mean that I dropped my other friends who were not Catholic. Some friendships I grew out of (it just happens naturally, especially when growing up), but I'd never walk away from solid friendships just because we didn't share the same Faith. That’s not true friendship and goes against the true purpose of friendship. The True Purpose of Friendship Look to Saint Ignatius and Saint Francis Xavier, Saint Teresa of Avila and Saint John of the Cross, Saint Francis and Saint Clare Assisi, for example. All are witnesses and attest to the true, beautiful purpose of fellowship and friendship. All of these friendships looked different because they were all unique; but at the core, all these friendships were life-giving. The purpose of friendship is to help one another grow. Friends are supposed to push us to be the best version of ourselves—to be holy—and as a good friend, we should do the same. Encourage each other, challenge each other, love each other. And to love is to will the good of the other and to support each other in that good. There was something I found in my Church friends that I didn’t find in my non-Catholic friends, and that was a sense of fellowship and through these friendships learned the distinction between the two. Friendship vs. Fellowship Simple friendships are usually fostered by common interests or circumstances like playing on the same sports team, attending the same lecture, or liking the same musician. Fellowship within the Catholic Church is relating to someone on a spiritual level with the Catholic Faith in common! There is something beautiful about sharing theology and a love for Jesus in the Eucharist. Fellowship is a beautiful aspect of the Catholic Church that the Lord provides us with and we should use this gift whenever we can! But I also believe that it’s good to have friendships with people who are not Catholic. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Why it's Good to have Friends Who are Not Catholic I converted to Catholicism when I was seven, but I went to a public high school. There weren’t many practicing Catholics there, but I still made strong, close friendships that I still have today. As Catholic Christians we are called to bring the light of Christ to everyone we meet (Matthew 5:14), especially to those who may not have a personal relationship with God. We can be lights to someone by the example of our friendship. Perspective and Prayer Being friends with someone who is not Catholic can also offer a different perspective on the world. I often feel that I can get trapped in a little faith bubble and I forget that a lot of the world doesn’t have a relationship with God. We are supposed to be in the world but not of the world, and by having a friend who has a different view of the world we can be in the world and walk with them and see the world from a different perspective. Lastly, having a friend who does not share the same faith gives us the opportunity to practice defending our own Faith. I would get questions from my friends who weren't Catholic all the time about different aspects of my Faith. Some answers I knew in a heartbeat and others I had to search in the Bible, in the Catechism, or ask a priest. These situations test our faith and test our knowledge of what we believe. Just like St. Peter said, “Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you” (1 Peter 3:15). How to Foster All Types of Friendships Remember, friendships are supposed to be life-giving! We are supposed to help each other, push each other to be the best possible versions of each other! How can we cultivate strong and healthy friendships? 1. Invest the time. Like any other relationship in life, you need to invest the time. Set aside the time to just be with your friend—no matter how busy you each are! My best friend and I go to college an hour away from each other, but that’s the beauty of modern technology! Pick up the phone, Facetime, send a text message, or plan to meet up on school breaks when you are near each other. You will never regret spending time with a friend. 2. Meet them where they are. This is especially important when fostering friendships with people who are not Catholic. Put aside any “friendship expectations” you might have for the person and meet them where they are in their life, listen with an open heart and without judgement, and offer comfort and advice when and where you can. Just remember that Jesus always meets us where we are, even in the messiness of our sin. If we are going to be the light of Christ to this world and our friends, we need to emulate the same. Friendship is a gift that God has blessed us with and we should not take it for granted. We should make it a point to be intentional and loving in these relationships. Because God loves us, we are called to love others in friendship, to will the good of each other... that is truly life-giving. What fruits are born in your life through fellowship and friendship with non-Catholics?   [bctt tweet="Friendship + Fellowship with Non-Catholics #BISblog //" via="no"]   Written by Samantha Cameron. Find out more about her here.

I have called you by your name. // Isaiah 45:4 These words are for you. Download this print from Jazmin De Guzman from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this for free! Log in and download! Remember, Members, you get this 8x10 digital download for free! Head to the shop for your download. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

It started as a quiet stirring in my heart, this gentle, almost imperceptible whisper from the Lord: “Come and rest with Me awhile.” I didn't understand what it meant, but I prayed to God for the grace and receptivity to go wherever He called me. The next morning, I received an email from Blessed is She announcing the 2019 Shine retreat. I got excited when I saw that a retreat was going to be held in Annapolis, MD, a mere two-hour commute from my hometown. However, as my gaze landed on the dates for the Dublin, Ireland retreat, I immediately felt the tug of grace telling me that's where I was meant to go. Calling Me Farther Really, God? Dublin? Questions and doubts swirled in my mind as I tried to process this divine calling. Was it doable? Yes. But the fear of actually leaving the country to make it happen was immediate and seemingly impassable. For one, I didn’t have a passport. This would be my first plane ride. My first solo trip. My first time sleeping away from home for this long. And I wouldn't know anyone else attending the retreat. A trip of this caliber wasn't meant for homebodies like me. I needed to stay where it was safe and familiar. Fortunately, God had other plans. After Mass that Sunday, I opened my parish bulletin to find a story about a woman who had just returned from Dublin, along with a welcome message she had discovered on the walls of an old rural church. Making a Way I tried to shake this off as a coincidence, but over the course of the next few months, I continued to receive small signal graces, assuring me this was anything but. At my job at the library, a soundtrack of Irish folk songs somehow found its way to my desk. Strangers galore gushed over their recent stays in Dublin, and travel books from you guessed where flooded the book drop. Convinced this was my intended path, I continued asking the Spirit for counsel and guidance. Moments after one such prayer, I opened my morning devotional to this passage, "There is an adventurous journey awaiting you... I will be watching over you constantly...and I will bring you safely back to this land." “OK, God,” I prayed in response. “I'll go. But You have to orchestrate events so that I can't say no.” The final nudge came from my coworker, Olive, who informed me that she might be going home to Ireland the middle of November. She wasn't sure if it would coincide with the retreat, but I was welcome to accompany her there and back. When she finally told me the dates of her upcoming trip, I nearly broke into tears: it was the exact same week as the Shine Retreat! The Universal Church Just shy of two months later, I found myself at the Emmaus Retreat Center in Dublin, Ireland. Shouldering my swag bag, I stepped into the retreat hall. Seeing nearly 200 strangers gathered in one place was intimidating at first, but I quickly discovered this was an oasis of sisterhood where everyone was welcome. Women from Scotland, Washington, Ohio, Texas, Michigan, and even Hawaii bared their souls and shared their stories, leaving space to reverence my own. It was so easy to connect with these women, because despite the differences in our lifestyles and geographic locations, we were all woven together by a common love of Christ. Over the next 24 hours, friendships were made, prayers were prayed, and phone numbers were swapped. My identity as a daughter of God was restored, and I discovered the pure, unbridled joy of singing praise and worship music with an authentic community of fellow Catholic women. Calling Me to More For me, these blessings were enough. But I remember feeling like more was to come, like God was preparing my heart for something bigger. For several months leading up to the retreat, I had been pondering the idea of perpetual virginity. It had surfaced in prayer off and on before, but I wasn't sure if it was a prodding from God or my own zealous propensities. So when I began to feel this subtle suspicion of something more, I wondered if it would be the answer I needed. Mid-way through the Saturday of the retreat, we were handed out slips of paper from a small wicker basket, on which were written random passages from Scripture. We were then asked to reflect on the passage and record any thoughts or prayers that came to mind in our journals. Gingerly, I opened the folded slip of paper to reveal this familiar verse from John 10:10: The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. At once, I interpreted the "thief" to mean anything that averts my gaze from God's life-giving love, which He offers to each of us in extravagant abundance. But my reflections were soon to be upended. The Gift That evening, as I knelt down for Adoration, I asked God once and for all what He wanted of me. In His presence, I perceived my virginity as a tiny wrapped gift beside the monstrance. It was close enough for Christ to take, and my heart throbbed in holy expectation as I waited for Him to make the first move. Then it struck me: Jesus is not a thief. Certainly, He wanted me to give Him the gift of myself. But He would never force me to give it away. Because that's not how our Savior works. He only asks, as we decide whether or not to accept. The question He was asking me now was, would I accept? The jarring urgency of His invitation surprised me, and yet Jesus, ever the gentlemen, spoke so tenderly to my heart, reminding me that He would never impose Himself upon me. That this was ultimately my choice. Sisters, I will never forget what He said. “My beloved, you are free to say no and I won’t love you any less. But consider this: have you ever regretted saying yes to Me?” Instantly, I was unraveled. Christ's words—so kind, so honest—were the only cue I needed. When the monstrance was carried from the altar and brought before me for a sacred, one-on-one encounter, I promised myself to Him forever. And in that moment of total self-giving, I felt His peace flood my soul. No Regrets Fast forward nearly one year. I am now, with the help of my spiritual director, pursuing a life of full Consecrated Virginity within the Church. Yes, sisters, this is my testimony. But, I want to be totally clear here. You may not ever be called to give your life to God in this way. And that's ok! The Lord paves a personal, distinct path for each of our lives as we pursue deeper intimacy with Him. But it's possible that God is asking you to give more than you think you can manage. Maybe saying yes to Him will require boldness, uncertainty, and risk. Maybe answering those interior promptings will incite misunderstanding and backlash from others, including close friends and family. Whatever barriers are keeping you hesitant or fearful, I want these words from Scripture—the very words that inspired the Shine retreat!—to embolden you: The light shines in the darkness and the darkness has not overcome it. -John 1:5 As St. John vividly points out, Jesus is the true and perfect light that swallows the darkness of all our doubts, our uncertainties, and our fears. Give Your Own Yes Truly, I had no idea how the Lord would transform me on this retreat. I'm still astounded by what He was able to do in a single weekend! And while I can't say what Christ has in store for you, I promise that if you step into the unknown with a posture of openness and trust, His light will intersect the shadows and illuminate the way forward. So, sisters, keep striving to become more docile to the movements of the Holy Spirit. Listen to Him. Let Him lead. And allow Him to coax your hearts into the radically uncomfortable places, because that is where you will encounter Him most deeply. No matter where you are in your faith journey, your yes is a gift. The swag bags are just a bonus.   [bctt tweet="Wholly Surrendered #BISblog //" via="no"]   Cathy Webb is a full-time Library Assistant, an advocate of long skirts, and an ardent follower of the Little Way. In addition to performing small deeds with great love, she delights in good books, good conversation (mostly with Jesus), green tea, and Eucharistic Adoration. You can learn more about her here.

Roommates make up a home just as much as the brick and mortar or the cute succulent decorations of any house. We want our homes to be places of peace and comfort to help us take a breather from the stresses of life. As Christians, we know a huge component to that peace and comfort is the prayer we do within the walls of our homes. But praying with roommates can be a challenge or feel awkward, and it's not something we always think to do. Tips for Praying with Your Roommates Whether you’re in college or a single adult living with others, here are five tips for growing in prayer with your roommates. 1. Actively foster prayerful conversations. I understand that sometimes we are placed with random roommates or we choose to live with people just out of necessity because it is more convenient or affordable for all involved. I have been in such situations and allowed the lack of compatibility with my roommates get the best of me. But looking back, there were some things I could have done differently. I have a love for meeting new people, so I chose to be placed with a “random” roommate rather than a friend for my first semester of college. Unfortunately, our schedules and interests were completely different, and I ended up seeing her more in passing outside of our room than in it. We never really had conversations that touched on Faith topics either, which I found strange considering we both cared about our Faith a lot. Yet our relationship never got to that level; and though we remained friendly with each other always, we never became good friends. I realized that, though I had tried, I gave up pretty easily on having good discussions with her. Had I given more time to fostering a deeper relationship, we may have eventually gotten to that point. Ships in the Night Fast forward to a few years after college and I chose to live with two girls I met at a Bible study. All three of us again shared the same Faith and values, but we were just very different people with very different schedules and interests. And while at first we did have conversations about the Faith and even prayed together at times, we soon fell into our own routines and our differences came between us and our group prayer life fell apart. There were times when we would walk into our home, go straight to our rooms, and shut the door. That’s not always a bad thing, because sometimes we need alone time, but because it became a frequent thing, we eventually were like strangers living under the same roof. However, there were several roommates in between and after those scenarios with whom group prayer was common and we had great relationships, many still being my dear friends today. What Made the Difference? With these closer roommates, I was more intentional about our conversations and they in turn were receptive to that. I made it a point to greet them when they walked into our living space. I’d ask how their day was, and they’d do the same. We shared meals together when possible or watched movies together. We’d just sit and chat, even if it wasn’t about anything important. While these sorts of things tend to start naturally, you must continue to foster those moments, otherwise life’s business will steal them away. Be intentional about it! The hope is that the people you live with will be willing to reciprocate your intentionality if they see your sincerity. But you cannot just sit back and wait for that to happen. You have to work for it and make the moves yourself. How to Start Sharing Your Heart A good start can be being vulnerable with your roommates and sharing something small that was tough for you. Or you can offer to sit and listen to a struggle your roommate is having with school or work. And even if you cannot do something specific to help out their situation, this is when you can offer to pray that things get better for them. Afterwards, check up on the situation and mention that you are still praying about it even days later. When people see that you are comfortable and willing and sincere about praying for them, it opens up the kind of relationship where that is common and they’ll know that’s a good way for them to respond to your struggles as well. With my two current roommates, our three bedrooms lead into the same little hall. One day, one of them was sitting in that hall and the other two of us had our room doors open and we started a conversation. Next thing you know, all three of us were sitting in the hallway, rolling with laughter and sharing our current life news. We sat there for a while and it was so good to share with each other like this that soon our little “hall meetings” became a tradition. Interestingly enough, these “meetings” almost always involve us praying together. We don't find it awkward or embarrassing to ask each other to pray because we have made it a regular part of our dialogue. But it is important to recall that this was not something that happened right away. It took some time for us to get to that point, but we reached it because we all kept being intentional about it. 2. Learn each other’s prayer styles and strengths. Growing up with faith-filled parents who had suffered a lot to escape religious persecution in Nicaragua, you can bet we were a family that prayed together every day, if not several times a day. There was usually a morning prayer, a prayer on the car rides to and from Catholic school, a Divine Mercy Chaplet at 3 p.m., prayer before every meal, and a Rosary every night before bed. However, my current roommates did not grow up with that same prayer routine, though both are also Catholic. I suggested doing consecration with one of them, but she was not super comfortable with the idea right away. The other preferred to attend a Latin Mass rather than the Mass I was going to. And that is perfectly fine! Even if you share the same Faith, prayer is such a personal thing that everyone’s prayer life is going to look a little different. If I had gone into this roommate relationship expecting to pray with them as often as my family had growing up, that would have been a little naïve of me and probably hurt our relationship more as they wouldn’t always be able to comply and I might grow bitter towards them. Not to mention, it would have been a bit selfish of me to want to pray only my way. But instead, we grew to understand that there was an open invitation to pray with each other, yet it was not mandatory to do so. Maybe you’re Catholic but your roommate is Protestant. There will be differences, of course, but differences can enrich instead of divide. Or you may uncover more similarities than you imagined just because you talked about it. Learning other’s points of views can help you better understand yours, and growing in ecumenism never hurts either. Take the time to learn why your roommate is most comfortable praying the way they do, and you may just expand your own prayer life and understanding, or theirs as well. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY 3. Include holy art in your home décor. The way you decorate your room or home says a lot about who you are. Often, Freshmen college students will reach out to each other before moving into a dorm to discuss who will add what to the room and what the layout of your room will be. This is because you want your living space to be peaceful, inviting, comfortable, cool and, in a word, home-y. Someone entering your space and seeing an elephant collage would assume you loved elephants (as one of my previous roommates did). Just so, someone entering a home and seeing a crucifix would assume the people living there are Christian. It does not make sense that you would choose to look at something every day that you do not like, especially because what you choose to hang in your living space can also affect your mood. The reason for that being that art is supposed to be attention-grabbing. Having reminders of what’s important to you hanging on the walls can be an invitation to discuss those things, or even meditate on them. Meshing Styles and the Meaningful One of my current roommates has a painting of Jesus from the 70’s that the other two of us were not very fond of at all. But that painting was from their grandmother, so it wasn't something you want to just get rid of. It was in our living room, bothering me for so long that I had to do something about it. So I decided to build an entire collage around it in hopes that that would “drown it out.” I removed a painting of the beach we had from our living room and placed the wall collage there instead. While deciding what was significant enough for all three of us to be hanging on our main wall for all to see, it mostly came down to religious pictures. So there on the wall are paintings of stories from Scripture, crosses, Saints, the Sacred Heart, and yes, that 70’s Jesus picture, which, as it turns out, looks amazing as the center of the entire collage. I really am proud of that collage and my roommates gave their hearty stamp of approval for it as well. That was a space where we had prayed together before but now it feels even more inviting. For me, this holy décor concept goes along with what it says in Philippians 4:8…that is to focus on what is good and lovely. These beautiful, faith-filled art pieces hanging on our walls do that and can invite us, and others who enter our home, to have beautiful and faith-filled conversations. 4. Attend Sacraments together. We as human beings are made for community. There is a reason God wants us to grow up in a family as opposed to just developing on our own. So we hopefully start going to church and attending Sacraments with our family. But as we grow up and maybe move away, that changes. The need for community doesn’t change, though. So this is where your roommates come in. They are the new community with whom you share a home. In college, I was so thankful to have roommates who would go to Mass with me. It was so nice to have people to sit with in a pew when my family was not around. The added perk with roommates who go to church with you is they can keep you very accountable too. I had college roommates who would let me know when they had heard about a prayer meeting happening or a good Catholic speaker coming to campus or when Confession times were or where Adoration was happening, etc. And I would do the same for them. Then, we would attend those events together and have so much fun reflecting on them late into the night in our pjs. Attending these moments of prayer together really made our friendships grow a lot stronger. Skip ahead to the roommates I have now. We are all adults with different jobs and different schedules, so we cannot always attend Mass at the same time. We do when we can though and even give each other rides sometimes to save on gas (always a plus). 5. You do not always have to be physically together to pray together. I think sometimes we are reluctant to pray with our roommates because we are reluctant to make time for it in our often-busy schedules. Or when you have the time, it seems your roommates do not. If that is the case, you may be forgetting that prayer goes beyond time and space. Praying with your roommates cannot always look like you sitting in your living room with them or going to church with them. But there are several ways to communicate with people even if we are not in the same space together. My roommates and I have a group chat, as roommates often do. In that chat we send each other heads ups, hilarious memes, and yes, we also ask each other for prayers occasionally. So when a roommate sends a message that something is going on and they need prayers, but I’m in the middle of grading papers (teacher here), I can save that intention for later or for when I stop by Adoration. That is still us praying for the same intention together, even if at different times and in different places. Or even novenas that come with daily readings. You can sometimes do the readings on your own, or sometimes do the readings with your roommates. Either way, it is cool to finish on the same date and then celebrate together. I just think sometimes we assume that because we live with someone, we’ll see them more often than the friends we don’t live with, but that really isn’t always the case, especially more into adulthood. Respect each other’s space and time, because that is super important for each of us, but don’t assume that means you can’t pray together. Prayer is so uniting that it can work in many different forms. For me, even just getting a text that says, “I prayed for you at Mass this morning,” from my roommate at a moment when I’m running errands or doing some other busy work, truly relieves my stress and brightens my whole day. So pray in the same space when you can, but be open to other ways to pray together too when you can’t. It's Worth the Effort In the end friends, I know finding roommates you can pray with is not always easy. But I do not think such a thing is only based off luck either. It is about putting more than just convenience behind the decision of who you live with and also about working to foster an environment where others feel comfortable asking to pray with you. I learned that praying with my family gave us the opportunity to gather together and share our lives and grow closer, and I now understand that that is what it does with my roommate relationship as well. Prayer can change us from just co-existing to sharing a deep bond with one another. It can make the difference between a house and a home. Having the sort of prayerful relationship I have now with my current roommates has added so much peace to my life. So I’ll end in wishing you, and your roommates, the same!   [bctt tweet="Tips for Praying with Your Roommates #BISblog //" via="no"]   Written by Lucia Gonzalez.