Dana Gioia’s 99 Poems New & Selected is a varied collection of well-crafted pieces that also demonstrates understanding of what it means to be fully human, skillfully expressing private experiences in a universal way. Gioia’s selections are organized topically. Fifteen poems are new while the rest are selected from his previous four collections. The sections include Mystery, Place, Remembrance, Imagination, Stories, Songs, and Love. The Catholic Heart From the arrangement alone, I felt a connection with Gioia. I knew he was a Catholic writer but, had I not, the themes of his poetry felt as familiar as a Scripture meditation or Sunday Mass reading. I relate to him as both a fellow Catholic and writer. In The Dyer’s Hand, W.H. Auden suggests questions to ask when reading a poem. Some of these include: Here is a verbal contraption. How does it work? What kind of a guy inhabits this poem? What does he conceal from the reader? What does he conceal even from himself? Gioia writes about ordinary things of life but applies craft and mystery that gives a glimpse of something beyond the veil. In doing this, he tells us about himself. The Ritual of Poetry In his craft book, Auden says “a poem is a rite, hence its formal and ritualistic character. Its use of language is deliberately and ostentatiously different from talk ... Poetry can do a hundred and one things, delight, sadden, disturb, amuse, instruct—it may express every possible shade of emotion” (page 58, 60). An example is in Gioia’s poem "Pentecost", written after the death of his son. In it he writes: Comfort me with stones. Quench my thirst with sand I offer you this scarred and guilty hand Until others mix our ashes. This powerful lament is certainly different from talk. Not only is it sad but also sensory as it seeks to express and honor the life of his dead son as well as the process of grief. Art Form and Heart Form Then again in "A California Requiem", Gioia confirms that he is a poet of place and nature mourning the loss of land to real estate development. We read: My blessed California, you are so wise You render death abstract, efficient, clean Your afterlife is only real estate And in his kingdom Death must stay unseen. This one was a favorite and I read it many times silently and aloud. I kept asking myself why I liked it so much, why I wanted to laugh and cry, why I wanted to share it with others. The conclusion I came to is that this piece does many things I want to do in writing. As for structure, there are ten syllables in each line and it is written in quatrains. It also has a specific scansion to it that was difficult for me to identify. But, I know enough to realize this is part of the appeal. The combination of stressed and unstressed word syllables gives it predictability and rhythm. In The Dyers Hand, Auden instructs “rhymes, meters, stanza, forms, etc., are like servants. If the master is fair enough to win their affection and firm enough to command their respect, the result is an orderly and happy household.” On sound level and form alone, this is a great poem. With further reading this piece also instructs through the line “Teach us the names of what we have destroyed” then disturbs and surprises through “We cannot ask forgiveness of the earth/For killing what we cannot even name.” His Poetry Tells Me Something about Myself Additionally intriguing was "Vultures Mating" because it aroused conflicting emotions. First, vultures are gross and ugly and I don’t care about them. But Gioia used an observation of these birds to tell me something about life that I do notice and think about which led me to enjoy the piece: "The stink and splendor of fertility arouses the world.” Then later: “Desire brings all things back to earth/charging them to circle, stretch, and preen.” And again in the line: “yearning to burst, to burn, to blossom, to begin.” The use of alliteration and imagery tells me about myself, my desires. The vultures demonstrate that desires encompass a lot in the human psyche and can be beautiful and unattractive. As a person of faith, I look for messages like this that teach about the natural world and longings, where to go with what is wanted, how to know and seek the good. As a writer, I also look for unique language to express human experience. Where Are We Going? I did not like the topics of some of Gioia’s poems simply because I don’t have a natural interest or prior knowledge of Novalis as a person or the horror film Nosferatu. Since I don’t expect to love every work in a collection this was not a disappointment. When first reading "Meditation On A Line From Novalis", I was bored compared to the excitement from some others. When analyzed further, I realized this poem is celebrating someone who came before by writing about him and I liked that. Particularly noticed was the same line at the end of each stanza: Where are we going? Home, always back home. Auden says “this (poetry in a democratic society) forces the poet to constantly search below the external surface which is palpable to the senses in order to read the inner soul.” Similarly, I often ask myself where I am going with my writing. That may mean with the next piece or in a broader context, as in, what I am going to do with this? Sometimes, I even wonder if I really know how to write. I don’t overreact to this because doubt is part of being human. I like this specific poem because it’s lucid. The piece repetitively asks a question then gives an answer. This technique gives a meaningful border to the words and gave me something to ponder and consider after the details were forgotten. Passing the Baton Gioia’s collection is like reading not only a poet but also a philosopher, a saint, a simpleton, a sinner. It’s reading someone who possesses a weighty and whimsical heart, a mastery of language. I took the opportunity to read his essays Can Poetry Matter? and The Catholic Writer Today during this study of Gioia. In coming to understand his insight into poetry, faith, and culture, I felt as if he was exhorting and passing the baton to a younger generation of faith based writers. Catholic imaginative literature as expressed through poetry is a worldview I would like to express well. For this reason, studying Dana Gioia’s poetry and letters both and now and in the future will keep me connected to a community that will enhance my understanding and writing life. I am grateful for the gift. Any other poetry fans out there? Have you read Gioia?   [bctt tweet="The Catholic Influence in Dana Gioia's Poetry #BISblog //" via="no"]   Jenny Richeson is a Catholic writer who is a lover of language and its mysteries. By day she provides speech pathology and cognitive intervention services to kids. Her main goal in life is to be a speaking stargazer caught up in wonder whenever possible. She makes her home in Kentucky with her husband Matt. Together they find God in gardening and all manner of outdoor activities whenever they can. Stargazing is a favorite pastime too. You can find out more about her here.   This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

It was a Friday night in college. I ran down the hallway to the common area of my dorm, four freshly popped bags of popcorn clutched in my arms. College girls have to eat something. My presence was greeted with shouts of enthusiasm as we nestled in to watch who-knows-what romantic comedy for the fourth time that semester. “You know how they say, ‘You are what you eat?’” one of my friends joked, ice cream pint in one hand, soda pop in the other. We all laughed, but I didn’t think much more of the comment until the next morning. The next two hours I had specially reserved for being swept-off my dirty college couch seat by a blue-eyed rugged actor while I vicariously played the part of the unsuspecting colleague. The experience was everything I wanted it to be. And then real-life started playing again the next morning. What's the Purpose? I had made a habit of hosting these movie nights in an effort to foster community. And I quickly noticed that nothing brought on a crowd of women like a classic romantic comedy. And yet the truth was, as I became more and more infatuated by the on-screen romances, I was becoming more and more frustrated by the off-screen romance I was living. Off-screen, I was dating the man who is now my fiancé. There was absolutely nothing wrong in our relationship: no red-flags, no lack of attention, no poor habits creeping in. If anything, I knew we were making leaps and bounds as a couple in communication, companionship, discipline, and all sorts of other good things. And yet, there was a restlessness in my heart. Thankfully, I had the wisdom to recognize it was not a restlessness worthy of attention, but rather an unholy restlessness. It was a desire for something that I knew I did not need. By the grace of God, I had a realization within prayer about the cause of my uneasiness. I was wanting the kind of romance I was seeing onscreen to be my kind of romance offscreen. What Real Love Looks Like The truth is that we can so often let the media/movies/messages we consume affect the way we perceive true love and distort our expectation of romance and relationships. In his masterpiece book, Men, Women, and the Mystery of Love, author Edward Sri summarizes this point perfectly. Sri speaks about how the culture in which we live contains, “love songs, romance films, and TV shows which constantly play with our emotions and prompt us to long for quick, emotionally thrilling relationships like the ones people seem to find in the movies.” I painfully realized that the discontent I was feeling in my relationship was nothing less than me expecting my boyfriend to make me feel the whirlwind of romance that actors were playing onscreen. I was limiting our relationship by expecting a full cinematic feature, while disregarding the genuine, real-life love story we were writing every day. I was limiting him by expecting a Hollywood award-winning air-brushed actor, while disregarding the perfectly imperfect man who was choosing to love me over and over every single day. That is when I decided to go on a rom-com detox. Not Bad In and Of Itself There are two extremes I want to make sure we avoid on this topic, and in doing so, we should make a couple of points. Romance is Good Romance and warm-and-fuzzies are good and necessary things in real-life romances! By no means am I saying you should not want any level of that. All I am saying is that real-world relationships will not and should not look like the ones on the movies. When we build up our expectations to that level, we will only become frustrated and discontented in even the most holy and healthy relationships. As Edward Sri puts it: Real love, however, is very different from Hollywood love. Real love requires much effort. It is a virtue that involves sacrifice, responsibility, and a total commitment to the other person. Hollywood love is an emotion. It’s something that just happens to you. The focus is not on a commitment to another, but on what is happening inside you—the powerful, good feelings you experience when you’re with this other person. I found myself desiring the emotion of Hollywood love instead of recognizing the virtue of real love that was being performed right in-front of my nose. The paradox present here is that while Hollywood love might be exciting and engaging for a short period of time, only real love will be fulfilling for a lifetime. Prudence is Key The second extreme is to think that any and all watching of rom-coms is sinful and degrading of our expectation of love. This is objectively false. Do I think there are certain rom-coms which cross a line and shouldn’t be watched? Yes, absolutely. Do I think that obsessive watching of rom-coms (like I did in college) can taint our vision of genuine love? Yes, absolutely. Do I also think that we can watch rom-coms in a prudent manner, keeping God’s vision of love and relationships intact in our minds, while enjoying a funny movie with friends? Yes, absolutely. You know yourself, and at the end of the day, you have the self-knowledge and understanding to recognize when what you are watching is affecting you negatively. My advice is that if you find yourself expecting in your own life what you see on screen, or becoming frustrated with what you have in real-life because it is not what you seen on-screen, maybe it is time to give it a break. It does not have to be a life-long break, but maybe just take a season to regroup and recenter your expectations of love. It worked wonders for me: the discontent and restlessness lifted, and I was actually able to recognize and receive the ways in which my boyfriend was genuinely loving and pursuing me. We are What We Consume Like my friend said: “you are what you eat.” That doesn’t apply to taste only. We are affected by what we consume. Let’s be people who make sure we are watching real-love, so that we can become it in the real-world as well.   [bctt tweet="Why I Went on a Rom-Com Detox #BISblog //" via="no"]   Mary Grace “Gracie” Tillman is a full-time student and full-time extrovert. If you don’t find her with her friends, odds are she’s lost on a backroad with her music all the way up. She loves sports, writing, one-on-ones over coffee, and all things related to Divine Mercy. She strives to life live every day to the fullest and be a joyful disciple of Jesus.   This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

Blessed are they who hear the word of God and observe it. // Luke 11:28 Love this from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

When I was seven or eight years old, I felt very disconnected from my friends and family. I noticed that I had a different way of thinking that just did not go with the norms and culture around me. My mom once called me “the rebellion who will bring shame to her.” So every night I cried myself to sleep, and the only way that I could find comfort was by imagining that the Blessed Mother was holding me and brushing my hair with her fingers. She was always my role model and my comforter, even in the season of my life where I was angry with God and stopped going to church for two years. I later learned I had a spiritual depression. Mother Mary was the one stable thing I could count on. Desperation in Early Days of Marriage In 2019 I married my best friend. I always wanted a big family and our plan was to get pregnant right away. But that was not the case. The reality was that I had a psychological condition (caused by all the negative things my culture told me about sex) that caused my muscles to voluntarily spasm at the very thought of sexual intimacy. At the time, this made the idea of having a baby very far-fetched. There is no medicine for it. My options were psychotherapy and pelvic floor exercises. Nothing worked. Turning to My Mother, Again If I have learned anything from my thirty-two years on earth, it is that my mother, Mama Mary, always has my back. Always. As any one of her lost, stressed children would do, I turned to her. I walked to the living room and told my husband, “We are praying the novena to Mary, Undoer of Knots and will ask Mary to cure my vaginismus.” I remember pulling up the novena on my phone in both Arabic and English. I am not sure why, but I wanted to pray it in both languages. I prayed with such certainly in my heart that I will conceive this month. My husband was so afraid that if I did not get pregnant it would take a toll on me. He kept saying that I should not get my hopes up. But that only made me pray it harder. I planned to pray the novena so that it would end on my ovulation day. I closed my eyes and said: “I believe that you are capable of curing me, Lord, with the intercession of your Blessed Mother.” Our Miracle It was the Saturday of Memorial Day weekend, two weeks after my ovulation day. I bought an early pregnancy test and ordered a cute onesie to use for the baby announcement. I went to take a shower and took the pregnancy test, even though the science says it was perhaps too early to get an accurate result. It was positive. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the bedroom to tell my husband. I was crying so hard I could not get the words out of my mouth. He saw the pregnancy test in my hand and, because I was crying, he thought that it was another negative one. He looked at me and said, “I am sorry sweetheart. That is why I did not want you to get your hopes up.” “No, it is positive,” I shouted. “Look, there are two lines.” You are Not Alone I later learned from a friend who has the same condition that a priest told her that vaginismus could be a spiritual issue and advised her to pray a spiritual warfare prayer. It makes sense! Who would be better to kick the devil’s behind than Mary? If you are reading this right now and suffering from vaginismus, I want you to know you are not alone sister! And this condition does not make you any less of a woman or a bad wife. There are steps that you can take to handle it, both on the spiritual and physical side: Pray a novena Pray a spiritual warfare prayer every night Pelvic floor exercises Dilation Go to therapy Regardless of what you do remember you are created in his beautiful perfect image. And as He promised, He will always have you in the palm of His hands.   [bctt tweet="I Was Healed through Our Lady's Intercession #BISblog //" via="no"]   Written by Dana Sawaked. You can find out more about her here.

As I was doing our bedtime routine with the kids the other night, we prayed the Saint Michael prayer. We began, “Saint Michael the Archangel, defend us in battle. Be our protection against the wickedness and snares of the devil... May God...” And then my mind just went blank. The lack of sleep, the long day, and the brain fog finally caught up with me and the words just totally slipped my mind. I blinked, caught up in embarrassment, and after a slight pause, my kids continued the prayer. “May God rebuke him, we humbly pray...” and so on until they said the rest of the prayer without me. I stared at them, in total awe and gratitude. I’ll admit, in a bit of shock, too, because I know that, as parents, we wonder half the time while we pray with the kids if they’re actually listening (they really are!) and if it’s making a difference (it really does!). I was so proud of my kids and in that moment, I felt God telling me, “They are not just your kids. They are my kids first.” A Load Lightened That took a load off my back because I constantly wonder if I am doing enough for them or if I am doing the right thing. Should I sign them up for more activities? How many more times will I have to remind them to say “please” and “thank you”? Are these time-outs even working? But at least I know I am doing some things right. At least they know the Saint Michael prayer. At least they know who Jesus is, how He died for them, how angels and Saints pray for them, and how the devil never wins. When I know that I have made a mistake (which will inevitably happen again and again) and I have failed to be a good example, I know God never fails. I know He is the perfect example. I know the love and hope I have for them are nothing in comparison to the love, strength, and wisdom God has for them. [bctt tweet="I know the love and hope I have for my children are nothing in comparison to the love, strength, and wisdom God has for them. #BISblog //" via="no"] What My Kids Have Taught Me I know it is my duty and privilege to teach my kids to be good people and equip them to face the world, but I did not expect that my children would be teaching me. Motherhood taught me so much—about my gifts and strengths, but also my weaknesses and selfishness. It exposed all the ugly parts of my heart and brought my issues up to the surface, leaving me raw and open so that I had no choice but to finally confront them. My kids teach me what it means to love and cling to their parents, to run to them when they fall and scrape their knee, to ask unceasingly to spend time together, to trust that they will be forgiven when they do wrong, to believe that they will be provided for. Aren’t these the very things our Father is asking of us? Having Faith in My Children I remember when I became a mom for the first time and a friend asked me what had surprised me the most about motherhood. And while I thought about how difficult parenthood is, the amount of sacrifice, the complete and total life change it is, I heard myself saying, “Confidence. I feel more confident in myself than I’ve ever been.” And it was true. Even if I was Googling “Is this normal?” in the middle of the night or crying desperate tears as my baby screamed in the car seat, I felt so sure about who I was, what my purpose was, and what I was made to do. Now, after having multiple children and watching them grow over the past several years, I realize that yes, I have grown in my confidence and my ability to look after them. But actually, it is not about me. What has surprised me most about this season of motherhood is that I have grown even more confident in them: who they are, what their purpose is, how they will bring Jesus to others, and that Heaven is their home. Despite my best efforts, it will ultimately be up to them to choose God and I have every confidence that they will. Every time my daughter draws a picture of the Sacred Heart, or my son reminds me to pray in the car, or my baby raises her hands in praise during a worship song, my heart soars. Having Faith in The Father And more importantly, I have grown more confident in our Heavenly Father. Because if my efforts and my love is making any difference, how much more will His efforts and His perfect love move their hearts? It is because of who He is, that I am able to let go and surrender my precious babies to Him. It is His grace that covers them, it is His peace that comforts them, His still, small voice that will guide them and remind them of who they are. It is His perfect love that will take them all the way home. What are some ways you have grown as a mother? How has motherhood surprised you? How has God surprised you? How has He shown you that you can trust Him? What areas of your life can you surrender to the Lord?   [bctt tweet="They Are His Children First #BISblog //" via="no"]   Written by Maggie Kim.

Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another as God has forgiven you in Christ. // Ephesians 4:32 Love this from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst.. // John 6:35 Love this from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Then Jesus took the loaves, gave thanks, and distributed them to those who were reclining, and also as much of the fish as they wanted. // John 6:11 Love this from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

I’ve learned to see Grief like she’s my sister, learned to love, to be patient with her. I embrace Grief and she walks with me on blistered feet, sometimes hand-in-hand and sometimes at a distance and we choose the path of most resistance, Grief and me. We visit many war-torn streets and kick up the dirt under our feet and see every mountain turned molehill… so many backwards things for me and Grief to meet. Sometimes, Grief is like… An awkward houseguest – the morbid cousin you wish would bother someone else so you could get some rest. And sometimes Grief is a dear old friend you feel like you haven’t met in years, who warms your heart so much the thaw draws out tears. Sometimes Grief shouts things that polite company wouldn’t whisper. Like a child, you scold her then, but later find to kiss her for saying the words grown-ups were too afraid to utter. Sometimes Grief is like a prick of a needle or a pinch on the arm… And other times she’s a sucker punch to the gut or a dagger in the heart. Sometimes Grief is like a gentle wave lapping at my feet. and sometimes a tsunami, threatening to drown me – daring me to breathe. Sometimes she’s a memorial stone held and gently pondered. Other days she’s a boulder placed on my over-burdened shoulders. But I’m no Atlas – the weight of the world’s a few pounds much for me. So I chip off pebbles and lay them at Another’s feet. Shared Grief can be almost sweet. Sometimes, Grief is persistent, begging me to look deeply at my heart. To her, it’s an open book, and an intricate work of art. So when someone says “good Grief” and lets out a sigh, You tell them, “yes, it is” as you pass by. For to mourn the lost is good for us; to grieve the “should-have-beens” and the “never-was.” To let our hearts ache over unfulfilled desires, so they can be healed – purified – by Love’s refining fire.   [bctt tweet="Pebbles at Another’s Feet // A Poem on Grieving #BISblog //" via="no"]   Sister Mary Vianney is a professed member of the Dominican Sisters of Mary, Mother of the Eucharist in Ann Arbor, Michigan. You can find out more about the Dominican Sisters here.

He said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a deserted place and rest a while.” // Mark 6:31 Love this from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

There are times in our lives when the devil has been particularly active. Whether it’s a flat tire on the way to an important event, the microphone not working in the middle of a passionate presentation, quarreling and tension arising in a family over a meaningful experience, or the presence of lies and doubts when about to make a critical decision, he works in many undercover ways. Undercover, but not completely unrecognizable. Being Alert I believe that it is important to recognize and acknowledge when the struggles in our life are the attacks of the evil one. That recognition lets us take steps toward battling against it. When we name our enemy, that helps us know how to fight against him. And the truth is, when the devil attacks us, he unwittingly shows some of his cards. You are the Lord's One of the most consoling truths I was ever told in regards to spiritual attack is this: Nobody goes after what they already have. When I’ve already won a game, I feel no need to fight about it. When I already have an A in a class, my desire for extra credit decreases. When I’ve already won someone over, I don’t need to work so hard to convince them all the time. The devil works the same way. He doesn’t go after what he already has. And that is why, in a roundabout way, there is actually consolation to be found when you are being spiritually attacked. The very fact that he is attacking you proves that he doesn’t already have you. The very fact that he is attacking you proves that he sees you as a threat. And that is a good thing! There is Consolation by God's Grace Being a holy woman of God terrifies the devil. When women live out their true identity as daughters of the Father, and convince others to do the same, there is opportunity to change the world. However, the devil does not want to see that change and will do his best to attack your identity itself. But take heart! If you were doing things that were bad, he would feel no need to get in the way. When you are being attacked, you can find comfort that that means what you are trying to do will build up the kingdom of God. Spiritual attack is never a coincidence. It comes exactly at those times when you are threatening the devil most. Don’t give in to his advances. Stay true to what you know to be right, knowing that a much stronger Savior is fighting for you.   [bctt tweet="Consolation During Spiritual Attack #BISblog //" via="no"]   Mary Grace “Gracie” Tillman is a full-time student and full-time extrovert. If you don’t find her with her friends, odds are she’s lost on a backroad with her music all the way up. She loves sports, writing, one-on-ones over coffee, and all things related to Divine Mercy. She strives to life live every day to the fullest and be a joyful disciple of Jesus.

I scrolled through Facebook until a Disney meme caught my eye. It was a picture of a Cruella de Vil driving with clenched fists, bloodshot eyes, and frizzy hair. The caption read: “Me trying to excel in my career, maintain a social life, drink enough water, exercise, text everyone back, stay sane, survive, and be happy.” I chuckled to myself, thinking, "Sounds about right." We Know We are Made for More Many of us can relate to that meme. We know we are supposed to be healthy, pursue virtue, and follow God’s will for our lives. It is a lot to balance, but we know that those are the things necessary to thrive. But how do we do it all without turning into a Disney villain? At the time I saw that meme, I was beginning to discover the hard way what I needed to do to thrive. After being diagnosed with a chronic disease, I realized that I needed to live a more balanced life. But every time I started, I felt like I would go two steps backward. I would quickly give up new habits out of exhaustion, confusion, and burnout. This only left me more confused and burnt out. Then I heard a line from Matthew Kelly that got me thinking: “Our lives change when our habits change.” I realized that habits were the key to beginning to thrive and have life to the full as Jesus wants us to (see John 10: 10) The Way God Designed Our Brains Our brains were designed by God to live by habits. This adaptation helps us to reserve energy for other aspects of our lives. One study found that 45% of our daily activities are habits. Without habits, we would experience and decide on what to do anew every day. This would quickly tax our brainpower and willpower. For example, we would have to decide our morning routine, driving routine, and more before work. This would mean that by the time we began work, we would not have as much mental capacity to do our work. Life would be very difficult without habits! Many thinkers have also believed that habits are the foundation of success. One of the oldest and most famous quotes in this area comes from Aristotle: We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit. To progress in any area, we need continuous effort. That is why professional athletes work out or practice nearly every day. Musicians practice regularly. Writers and other creative people work regularly. Habits are much better suited for progress and growth than inconsistent actions. Habits can be helpful in every area of life, including health, virtue, and vocation. These five books will help you to discover ways to make and break long-lasting habits. What is a Habit? If you want to know more about the exact components of a habit, The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg is the book for you. In this book, Duhigg dives into the research behind habit components and formation. He also explains how to create habits for both individuals and organizations. One key takeaway from this book is an explanation of the three parts of a habit: The Cue // This is what triggers your brain to go into habit mode. The Routine // This is the actual habit. The Reward // This is what makes your brain crave repeating the habit. Duhigg explains that one of the best ways to make and break habits is to keep the cue and reward, but change the routine. What is the Best Way to Create a Habit? Unsure of how to create a habit? Have you tried traditional ways to create good habits, only to give up? These next books are for you. There is a lot of debate in the psychological community about many aspects of habit formation. Personally, I do not think there is one correct way to create habits. I think that each of us has a way to create habits best suited to our personalities and circumstances. These books offer lots of options. Atomic Habits Atomic Habits by James Clear was published in 2018 and millions of copies have been sold. The main focus of this book is the creation of systems and relying on those instead of goals to make things happen. These systems should be made up of small habits that push you towards becoming the person you want to be. Another helpful takeaway from this book is the Four Laws of Behavior Change. This includes making it: obvious, attractive, easy, and satisfying to complete the new habit. This book is helpful for those who struggle with goal-setting or habit formation. This is also the best book on the list for breaking bad habits. Mini Habits Mini Habits book was published by Stephen Guise in 2013 and quickly became a bestseller on Amazon. This book was inspired by Guise’s famous one-push-up challenge. After struggling to make exercise a habit, he decided he would only force himself to do one push-up. He would not make himself do anything else after that. He found that making the bar so low motivated him to do more. He then began using this technique in all aspects of life. A mini habit is too small to fail and only doing this small thing counts as a “win” for the day. Guise has found that this motivates people to do more, and tricks them into forming larger habits. For example, having to only write 50 words a day has motivated Guise to write 1000 words most days. This book is helpful for those who struggle with summoning the motivation to do more. It is also helpful for those who need easy wins after failing to create good habits. Elastic Habits This book is the sequel to Mini Habits. Guise found that he struggled with having no set way to measure the extras he did after mini habits. He then created elastic habits and found them to be even more successful. Elastic habits have three levels: mini, plus, and elite, and can have many options in one level. The key here is that even only doing the mini level counts as a win for the day. But if you want to, your extras are measurable as a plus or elite win. I have found this strategy even better than mini habits because it challenges me to do more without worrying about failing. This book will be helpful for those who like the idea of mini habits, but who thrive on more structure. But, I highly recommend reading Mini Habits first! How Do I Fit in a New Routine? You may want to create a whole new routine and may be wondering how to fit that into your already busy schedule. The Miracle Morning has an answer for you (but don’t skip this part if you are not a morning person!) This book was published in 2012 by Hal Elrod and has been translated into 37 languages since. The Miracle Morning is made up of the best practices we need to thrive, like exercising and reading. It then allows you to fit in those activities before starting your day. While some of these elements may not be for you, the whole idea of The Miracle Morning is still very helpful. Elrod also includes some very helpful tips for becoming a morning person. Lean Into How You Were Created Habits are a great way to use the brains designed by God to create ways to thrive in all areas of life, as He wants us to. I pray that these books will be helpful to you in discovering ways to have life to the full. Do you have any other suggestions? Have you had success with any other habit-building strategies?   [bctt tweet="5 Books to Read for Making and Breaking Habits #BISblog //" via="no"]   Abby Albrinck is a graduate student in clinical psychology. She also writes about health, virtue, and vocation. In her free time, she enjoys crocheting, reading, and playing music at Mass. You can find out more about her here.

On the day of my first marathon, I woke up at 4:30 a.m. After dressing in my running shorts and tank top, I found a Sharpie and opened my journal to the page where I’d written the bulleted list. I took the marker to my forearm, the cool point rippling along my skin with gentle pressure. The words cascaded from my wrists to biceps, wobblier on the left arm than the right. On my body numbered one through 26 were my prayer intentions, one for each mile of the race. Running the Race So as to Win When I signed up for the marathon, I decided I would run without any music. I wanted to immerse myself without any buffers, but still felt a need for structure, something to fill the time. My 26 prayer intentions included family members, world issues, personal dreams. Like most people, I wasn’t running this marathon to get a good workout, but to accomplish something that I thought would make me feel amazing. I wanted a motivator to propel me forward in this race, to take me outside of myself and the physical pain. At the sound of the starting gun, my belly swam through my insides as I strode to keep up with the runners around me. Some of them started to talk, comparing times and setting paces. I buckled in for the solitude and silence. As the single-digit miles moved along with punctuations of cheering supporters and water stations, my prayers remained earnest. Some fluent thoughts passed through my mind the first few minutes of each mile, until the prayer became increasingly passive, a background mantra chanting in my brain. Perseverance on the Pavement With each step forward, concentration waned. Prayer lost its luster as my muscles swelled and breath accelerated. Boredom ensued, and the only thing to do was run. By mile 12, I was no longer thinking about my prayer intentions, many of which had become curling black flakes of marker smeared across my skin. I hit my wall, and could only think about how badly I wanted to be done. I’d love to say I became rejuvenated somewhere in the later miles, that I felt God’s push and re-centered myself to gain direction and purpose. I didn’t. I just ran, my stride becoming a shuffle. The flat terrain of Council Bluffs, Iowa spanned around me, a backdrop of quiet parks and monotonous pavement. My brilliant friends made appearances at various mile markers, and my roommate FaceTimed my family so they could see me run from two states away. These moments energized me for a few minutes, then silence would throb as their cheers subsided in the distance. For much of the race, I was bored and lonely. The joy of seeing the last mile marker provided more relief than I thought possible. I had an amazing finish. My legs did not feel a part of my body, my breath was not my own. I panted and cried just a bit. My friends circled me with hugs and water, their love as thick as the humid Midwestern heat. Letting Myself Down? At the end of the race, I didn’t feel invincible. Of course, I was proud and happy. But I allowed the weakness and brokenness I felt from the physical exhaustion and desolate silence to disappoint me. It was disheartening to realize that as powerful as my body felt, my spirit had not kept up. Self-imposed expectations prevented me from accepting the spiritual difficulties I endured: if I had prayed better or harder, I would feel unstoppable right now. My Weakness, His Power I confused my human act of prayer with God’s strength. Whether or not I completed the race and stuck to my prayer goal had little importance. He let me finish in spite of my weakness, not to prove my own ability, but so that I could witness His power. I had contorted prayer into a transaction, thinking I would find peace and spiritual fulfillment during the marathon if I stuck to my plan. Music or not, marathons are grueling. My prayer did not change that fact, but it forced me to face my weakness and see it not as an inhibitor, but an opportunity for God’s strength to prevail above my shortcomings. As I experience desolation in different forms today, I continue to make attempts at prayer and fail. Some days, I don’t try at all. I am frustrated when I think I lack the aptitude to be close to God. I set expectations for prayer that go unfulfilled, focusing on my own capabilities instead of His. I pray that God will make me stronger, ask He asks me to rely on His force alone. Though I resist, it is only through total dependence that I can find freedom from the deceptive allure of self-sufficiency. His Constant Help My marathon story is not a lesson of failure and perseverance, hard work and success. It is a story of weakness that demands me to let go of pride and independence in order to accept God’s strength. Life bears obstacles far more intense than the physical toll of a marathon, and though I may not have the strength to weather the next challenge, He always will.   [bctt tweet="Running Without Music, Not Without Purpose #BISblog //" via="no"]   Grace Spiewak resides outside of Chicago, where she learns and writes about Latin, ancient history, and her Catholic Faith. She works as a college librarian and holds degrees from Creighton University and University of Illinois Urbana-Champaign. Outside of the library, Grace enjoys exploring Chicago on foot or bike, especially with her family and friends.

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavens, as he chose us in him, before the foundation of the world, to be holy and without blemish before him. ” // Ephesians 1:3 Love this from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

So we are always courageous, although we know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. // 2 Corinthians 5:6-7 Love this print from Tisa Muico from today's readings. Let His word dwell in us richly, sisters. Remember, Members, you get this for free! Log in and download! Download your F R E E wallpapers right here --->>> Phone wallpaper Desktop wallpaper

Like many cradle Catholics, my introduction to Mary came at an early age. I was given a beautiful Rosary on my first communion, learned the Hail Mary in Kindergarten and my parents have a statue of Mary on our front lawn. But also, like many Catholics, I would say my understanding of Mary and her role in both the Church and my life personally did not come until much later in life. For many non-Catholics and Catholics alike, Mary can seem like a bit of a conundrum. Non-Catholics will often argue that the focus of our spiritual lives should be Jesus alone and that honoring anyone else distracts from Him. Many Catholics struggle with the idea of relating to the perfect woman who gave birth to the Son of God. I’ll be the first to admit, it can be difficult from her limited appearances in Scripture to understand who exactly she is. Jesus and the Jewish Roots of Mary Enter Jesus and the Jewish Roots of Mary by Brant Pitre. It is rare to find a book where your mouth is literally hanging open in awe at the end, but I promise you that this is that book. With extensive research and a clear personal love for Our Blessed Mother, Brant masterfully guides the reader through Catholic Marian doctrine. Looking back to Scripture, ancient Jewish writings and the Catechism, Brant leads the reader on a journey throughout history to shed light on who Mary is in God’s plan and why she should matter so much to us today. Mary in the Old Testament Mary’s role in Salvation History can be traced back to the very beginning and our fathers in faith. First and foremost, Mary is the new Eve. Her fiat and her yes to the Father directly contrasts the disobedience of Eve in the Garden. In this yes, she, like Eve, becomes the mother of all the living—namely those who have been brought to new life by the death of her Son. Pitre also points to the Old Testament to show us that Mary is the new Ark of the Covenant, the vessel that is home to the living God. Perhaps the most striking comparison Pitre makes, however, is the least well known: the idea that Mary is the new Rachel. Rachel was the mother of Joseph and Benjamin, the favorite wife of Jacob. After bearing Joseph, Rachel goes on to deliver Benjamin and dies in labor. Not to spoil the most impactful part of the novel, but when you look at the story of Joseph, contrasting him to Jesus and Rachel to Mary, there becomes an interesting connection one can make between the younger son, Benjamin, and the beloved disciple. As many Biblical scholars have pointed out, the author of John’s Gospel refers to John as the Beloved Disciple, so that the reader may imagine themselves in that role. If this is the case, seeing Mary as a new Rachel and ourselves as a type for Benjamin provides an incredible look at who she is as our own Mother. Why it Matters The second half of the story dives into Marian teaching, fleshing out why Catholics believe certain teachings about Mary that, at first glance, may not seem to have roots in Scripture. Pitre focuses on three main teachings: the perpetual virginity of Mary, the painless birth of the Messiah, and Mary’s role in the Kingdom of God as Queen Mother. This section is particularly helpful for dispelling common misconceptions about Our Lady. After all, Scripture directly references Jesus’ "brothers", so how could Mary have been a virgin all her life? To find the answer to this and other popular Marian questions, Pitre forces readers to look backwards into the Old Testament. While some might question the importance of these different pieces of doctrine, Pitre reminds his readers that the truth matters. The more we learn the truth about Our Lady, the more we know and understand about Jesus. “Behold your Mother” Pitre takes us to the end of the journey, where we meet Mary at the foot of the Cross. It is here that he challenges the reader, now knowing all that they do about the Blessed Mother, to enter into a personal relationship with her. And he is able to give a very compelling reason why you should: Why would Jesus willingly suffer the excruciating pain it would have caused Him to pull Himself up by the nails in His hands to utter these words…. ‘Behold your Mother’? These words He speaks to the Beloved Disciple are words He speaks directly to you and me, dear sister. He gives us the most precious thing in the world to Him, His Mother, to not just to honor but take as our own loving Mother. In accepting this great gift, we not only gain a relationship with our Mother, but in doing so, draw infinitely closer to Jesus Himself. I hope you will read this book if you are curious about Mary and I hope you will welcome the Lord’s invitation to get to know His Mother, accepting her as your own. In the words of Pitre, when it comes to learning more about Mary: ...you will discover something amazing and precious. She is already there waiting for you. You will find that Mary was loving you long before you ever learned to love her. Such as it is with mothers. When a mother gives birth, she can see her child long before the child can even open its eyes to see her. What questions do you have about Mary, the Mother of God? Feel free to ask in the comments below!   [bctt tweet="BIS Reads // Jesus and the Jewish Roots of Mary #BISblog //" via="no"]   Shelby Hennen is a Catholic young professional who hails from the Midwestern metropolis of Kansas City, MO. She loves a good book, a good chat with a friend and a good taco joint.

I converted when I was 28. At this point in time, my husband and I had been married for three years and had two children under the age of three. So this decision was super convenient for everybody. I was baptized into the Catholic Church as an infant. When I was three years old we moved back to where my mom grew up and started going to the Lutheran Church that she had gone to as a child. I had a great life growing up. We were in church every Sunday (we sat mid-back like a good Lutheran family would), my mom taught Sunday School, I received my Lutheran sacraments and I was perfectly content. Sort of. Something Was Missing I felt at home in my Lutheran church because that is where my family was. It’s where my parents were married. Where I was married. Where my Grandpa’s funeral was. It was my church. But there was still something missing that I could not quite put my finger on. In 2014 I met my future husband. We went to church together every Sunday—sometimes mine, sometimes his—but always a Lutheran church. One year we decided to go on a “church tour” and would visit a new church each Sunday to see which one felt right. After much convincing on my part, one Sunday we went to the Catholic church that I had been baptized at and ... ding ding! That was it for me. The traditions and rituals and formality of everything just made me want to learn more. I felt like I had finally found what I had been missing all along. The Holy Spirit pulled me back here and I knew I wanted to be a part of it. That was in 2015. Seeing the Light Over the next couple of years, I started learning more about the Catholic Faith and what it all meant. I began soaking up all I could: books, blogs, podcasts ... you name it. In 2019 my sister-in-law (who had converted to Catholicism several years prior) invited me to go along to the Blessed is She “Shine” retreat. It changed my life. I had never experienced something so pure, honest, and beautiful. I wanted to become Catholic and I wanted to do it immediately. That August I went to the local parish to speak with the priest. We talked a little about where I was and what I wanted from all of this. I talked to my husband about it and, to be honest, he was not thrilled. In his mind, we were doing just fine. We had a baby and went to the Lutheran church just a few miles from our house every Sunday. Why would I want to change that? It wasn’t a smooth process. At all. We fought about it a few times and things ended with me crying in frustration. Why couldn’t he just do this with me? Why is this such a big deal? All In That following January, I went back to the priest and decided to start the RCIA class. I expressed to him what was going on between my husband and me and he gave me some of the best advice. He said that my husband’s conversion was not my decision. It was not something that I could make my husband do. The Holy Spirit would work in him just as it had me and the best thing to do until then was to pray. Pray hard and pray often. And so I did. A lot. I prayed for him to open his heart to the Catholic Church. For him to want to learn all the things I had come to know and love. For him to want to raise our children in the Church. I continued to do my studies and read my books. I would leave the papers and books out on the kitchen table so he would come across them, but I was not begging him to read them. This seemed to alleviate some of the tension around the subject matter. He didn't necessarily embrace my decision, but he did accept it. Loving My Lutheran Husband I was confirmed on November 8, 2020 and it was one of the best feelings ever. I remember feeling so full of joy that day and all warm and tingly inside! My husband is still not Catholic, but that’s fine. Our children will be raised Catholic and we go to each other’s church every other Sunday. On weekends that we go to his church, I either go to the Saturday vigil or to Mass after we go to his Church. It is really important to both of us that our children grow up going to church every Sunday like we did. So regardless of “who’s Sunday” it is, we are all there, and that’s all that matters. We are loud (and usually late), but we are there. Do I wish we all went to the Catholic church every Sunday and had our “designated spot” like the rest of the families I see? You bet. But I’ve accepted that we may never be that family. I still pray every day for my husband’s conversion. I pray that it will happen soon. I know that it may never happen. I know he loves God and he believes in the resurrection just as much as I do. If the day ever does come that he decides he wants to take the steps to convert, I will throw the biggest party ever and you all will be invited. Did anyone convert to Catholicism after marriage? What was your experience like?   [bctt tweet="Living Faith with My Lutheran Husband #BISblog //" via="no"]   Kyla Goebel is a Catholic convert, wife, and mother of two small (and rambunctious) kiddos. She loves hot coffee, warm days and afternoon runs. She spends countless hours in her garden and has dreams of one day having her own little farm and becoming a pioneer wife. You can follow Kyla and her family’s adventures here.