The priest guided our meditation as we knelt in adoration. “Close your eyes and imagine that you are opening the door to your heart. Step in, into the throne room. Who or what is seated upon the throne of your heart? Is it the Lord?”
I wasn’t sure who or what I would see when I opened the door, and as much as I wanted it to be Jesus, I knew it would not be. In that moment of holy imaginative prayer, God gave me the grace to see the lord of my heart, and as soon as I saw my whole being exhaled, “Of course.”
It wasn’t Our Savior.
It was the perfect version of me. And I looked good! I also knew that the Bonnie sitting there was smart, funny, thin, beautiful, popular, successful, talented. The perfect mom, wife, and friend, with 25k followers on Instagram.
Father continued, “If it is not Jesus, then remove it and ask the Lord to come in.” In an instant that Bonnie was gone, and I brought in the Lord. In my mind’s eye, my heart filled with light. I apologized and begged for mercy. He pulled me close and looked at me with love and joy.
I have not made idols out of silver and gold like the Israelites (Hosea 8:4) but I have fashioned many idols through my life, enthroning them in my heart. But the Lord is moved with pity for me and (see Matthew 9:36) heals me with His love. He wants that for you, too.Who or what is seated upon the throne of your heart? Is it the Lord? // @BonnieEngstrom Click To Tweet