This last season of my life has been marked by a great wave of personal disappointments. My relationship unexpectedly ended. My last semester of college was cancelled as classes went online and graduation was postponed. I was rejected from graduate schools. And there are surely still unknowns.
Sometimes, I feel like I need to see results in order to believe the promises the Lord has spoken over my life. I attempt to negotiate with the Lord, attaching conditions to my faithfulness out of doubt and entitlement. I make vows with the lie that He must not really understand my desires, and that His plans could never be as good as mine. I replace prayer with fantasy, rejecting the submission I know is asked of me.
“I will espouse you in fidelity, and you shall know the LORD” (Hosea 2:16).
Perhaps this was not the last semester of college I had hoped for, but in today’s First Reading, I am reminded of the unwavering faithfulness of God.
Sister, I do not know much about the promised land on the other side of the mountain, but I do know the Lord’s fidelity to me.
If my life sings of any enduring truth, it is that He is faithful, and His commitment to me is never-ending.
My testimony is covered in evidence that He is the Love that does not leave. I am led to remember there is no disappointment that the Lord has not redeemed, or empty space that the Lord has not filled with abundance. He is making all things new, working all things together for our good, and He will not miss a thing. His covenant to us is His closeness.
We are espoused in the fidelity of God.