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BIS LIVES

Prayers for the Single Life

During college, I’ve fallen into the trap of thinking I needed to be in a relationship. I felt pitied and ashamed of being single, but after much thought and prayer, God led me to ask a few questions.

Why do you think being in a relationship will make you a better and happier person?
So when you get married, that’s when you will be who you’re meant to be?

The answer seemed clear:
Your womanhood should be lived out each day, not just in a relationship.

Relationship status is not the meaning of my life. My life already has meaning before I meet “the one.” I realized that if I am called to marriage, the time to start loving and respecting my future husband is right now. Instead of waiting for the perfect man, I could start spending my time preparing myself for my vocation by focusing on a few specific areas.

Build a firm relationship with God first.

God is the only person who will prepare me for the love my heart longs for. I asked Him to put His love into my heart so I can learn what it truly means to love. God loves and cares for you more deeply and more intimately than any boyfriend could. God’s love is a great way to remind yourself of the kind of love you deserve. Learn His ways and imitate His ways because God is love.

Build a firm relationship with yourself.

Each day, I pray and ask Our Lady to make me, not only a woman of God, but to a woman society needs. There are temptations that prowl around the world trying to ruin hearts and souls, but we need to fight the norm! Use each day to be the woman God wants you to become and you will in turn be prepared for your vocation. You truly find yourself when choosing to be a woman of God.

Pray for your future spouse.

Even as I grow in these practices, I spend so much of my mental energy thinking about what my future spouse is doing. To calm these thoughts, I ask God to protect both my heart and his heart from evil and temptation. Pray for God to form you both into the spouses you are meant to be. Prayer is the best way to make sure, right now, your future husband is doing okay.

Of course, you may not know if your vocation truly is marriage, but any prayer will open your heart. Each day’s goal is striving for holiness.

Stay hopeful.

Trust God’s timing is perfect, you’ll realize everything happens the way it’s supposed to happen. I learned to stop rushing for a relationship and just God take over. Just because it seems like everyone is in a relationship except you doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you, it simply means your plan is in the works! Maybe God is saving you for someone amazing, so prepare to be amazing back!

Relationships can be a deep and profound way of bringing another person on the path of holiness with you. I hope you can strive with me to becoming woman of God before we ever become the woman a man needs. Wait with the utmost patience knowing you will be rewarded for the amount of holiness you put into your life. Trust that God’s grace and His divine plan will fulfill your future.

Shannon Donnelly is a Religious Studies major and Philosophy minor at Cabrini College in Radnor, Pennsylvania, who wants to share her path to holiness with other women of God.

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8 Comments

  • Reply
    Lauren
    February 23, 2016 at 10:05 am

    This post is beautiful – thank you so much for sharing! Even though I am in a relationship, I have had these exact same sentiments with regards to wanting to get married. At first I was anxious and upset as I felt ready to take this next step. Plus, it’s hard when you see all of your friends getting engaged. Thanks to God’s grace I’ve come to realize that this time of waiting should be used to focus on my relationship with Him, to focus on bettering myself so that I can be the future spouse He’s calling me to be, and to trust in His timing, not my own.

  • Reply
    Nicole
    February 23, 2016 at 5:43 pm

    I’ve never been in a true relationship, and I’m in college so it can be pretty daunting to be that 1%. I had a period of time last year when all I wanted was to be with someone, and I’ve never been that way before. After that passed, I learned more about how I am prepare myself for my future spouse through God’s will. I know His timing is perfect, and I am waiting for a reason. I’ve learned about praying for your future spouse, and I try to remember to do that daily. Right now what I think I need to do is to deepen my relationship with God to better hear His plans for me. Thank you for this! I’ll refer to it time and time again.

  • Reply
    Steph
    February 23, 2016 at 9:43 pm

    Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. I’m single and loving it as I’m realizing it is bringing me closer and closer to God, this time spent on my own. I’m growing into the person he wants me to be and it’s awesome. So thank you so much for this, you really hit the nail on the head here. 🙂

  • Reply
    Terezka
    February 25, 2016 at 4:07 am

    Thank you very much for this!

  • Reply
    Anonymous
    February 26, 2016 at 9:08 am

    Thank you for this. I am 40 years old and have never been married or have kids. I yearn to have a partner, as I am exhausted in doing everything for myself. This is a good reminder of God’s timing.

  • Reply
    amy
    February 26, 2016 at 9:14 am

    This is a great reminder. I am 40 years old and have never been married or have kids. I yearn to have a partner for so long, I am exhausted of doing everything by myself. This is a lovely reminder of God’s timing.

  • Reply
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    Advice for those who are hopeless about relationships – positively pure
    May 14, 2017 at 12:24 pm

    […] A lot of people fall into the despair that comes with singleness. As if relationships are the meaning to life and the epitome of your being—that statement is far from the truth, and I personally had to pray to get out of that. (Read my post on that here) […]

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