What Do You Wish?

He said to her, "What do you wish?" // Matthew 20:20

Tiny waves lapped on the placid seashore, making a musical sound as they trickled out over small stones. I call it the seashore and not the beach because that’s what the locals called it. I was on holiday in Helsinki, Finland. 

After perusing the stalls of a local farmer’s market, my friend headed back to the apartment to lay her toddlers down for their naps while I went for a walk to stave off the jetlag. 

It was idyllic, a glorious Nordic summer day, and I felt the Holy Spirit draw near. My heart began to unfold with gratitude and we walked in companionable silence, like two friends who know and love each other deeper than words. 

It was all so beautiful I felt my heart would break—and in that moment, it did. Because in the silence, ever so gently, I had heard God ask me, What are your hopes and dreams?

All the romance and peace of the moment evaporated in an instant. After all, anger is easier to feel than disappointment. 

I wonder what you would say, dear sister, if today the Lord drew near and asked you the same question He addressed to the mother of Saint James in today’s Gospel? “What do you wish?” (see Matthew 20:20-28)

Maybe your heart would respond unreservedly to His request. Or maybe you’d desperately beg for a miracle because you believe He can do the impossible. But maybe you’re more like me and you’ve been disappointed. Maybe it’s too hard or too scary to hope, and it feels cruel of Him to ask what you wish because He already knows and you’ve been waiting so long. 

But maybe today is your summer day by the sea, and He’s drawing near to ask you again. Drawing your heart and desires out once more: What are your hopes and dreams?

So even if you’ve been hurt or disappointed, even if you’re angry or afraid, tell Him who suffers with you anyway. Tell Him everything. And maybe, like He did for Saint James, who embraced the Cross beside Jesus, He will give you everything and more, even if it doesn’t look the way you thought it would.