The Son of Man came to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many. // Mark 10:45 (Alleluia verse)
Are you okay? There are several emails left unanswered.
My stomach lurched as I read her text and realized I had forgotten to do my part—again.
I quickly typed out an apology and then allowed the words that had been squeezing my heart to surface on my phone screen: I don’t know how much longer I can do this.
The honesty of that text was a long time coming. For nearly three years, it had been my joy to help my home parish in this particular ministry, but lately, it was becoming harder and harder to offer my gifts. More times than not, I found myself irritated and burdened by the tasks delegated to me, straining to give “timely help” to the rest of the team (see Hebrews 4:16). I knew I wasn’t showing up wholeheartedly; however, the guilt of letting others down, loyalty to my church community, and the noble words of Jesus from today’s Gospel (see Mark 10:35-45) prevented me from admitting defeat. Then I recalled what my vocation director had once said: “Whenever we give of ourselves, it has to come from a free space.”
Sister, our lives are meant to be icons of loving service in imitation of Christ, but we cannot serve from a place of forced or impoverished love. As disciples, we must be cognizant of how and where we are using our time, our talents, and our energies. We need to prayerfully discern when to detach from exterior demands in order to make room for the Lord to fill—and refill—us. We can’t do it all, my friend, but our Savior, Who sympathizes with our weaknesses (see Hebrews 4:15), will see the precious fruit in what we offer and breathe life into our smallest acts of love.
Take some time to examine your commitments today. Are they misaligned with where Jesus is desiring to make room in your heart? Ask Him to help you surrender the cluttered spaces and unnecessary yeses so that you can give more freely and humbly of yourself elsewhere—your marriage, your family, your home, and to Him.
Cathy Webb is a consecrated virgin for the Diocese of Wilmington and the creator of the Sacred Heart to Heart prayer journal. A full-time Library Assistant, she finds joy in embracing the sacrament of the present moment and spreading the fragrance of Love everywhere she goes. She also treasures large cups of tea; her Chihuahua, Lucy; and anything Saint Therese. When she’s not writing and creating for the Kingdom, she can be found wearing a pretty dress while adoring the Heart of her Divine Spouse in the Eucharist. She is a contributing author to Blessed Conversations: Home. Find out more about her here.
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