"There are also many other things that Jesus did, but if these were to be described individually, I do not think the whole world would contain the books that would be written" (John 21:25).
Part of my desire to know is sheer curiosity. The Gospels are filled with such incredible miracles, fascinating parables, and brutal moments of sacrificial love.
But also in my heart, maybe I'm hoping I'll hear of Jesus delivering just one more BANG sermon, just one more tender touch to a woman in need, just one more revelation of private prayer with the Father. Maybe, even though I've poured over the Gospels time and time again, would my affirmation-seeking heart be satisfied by just one more?
If I'm not filled up by four Gospels and the much ink spilled of Jesus' words, sister, I'm probably not going to be filled up by more. It's my half-hearted trust that Jesus couldn't have died for me because I'm well, unworthy. I'm looking for that extra assurance.
Yes, I'm unworthy, and so are you. Yes, I'll betray Him, and so will you. And yet He invites us to follow Him. The invitation to Love is just that, the thing we can never deserve.
Pray deep with a short piece of Scripture, sister. Take it inside the chambers of your heart cordoned off. Let Him in there, too.
Nell O'Leary is a recovering lawyer-turned-writer and speaker who loves sewing baby goods while tending to her husband and four kiddos in the great city of Saint Paul, Minnesota. She serves as Managing Editor for Blessed is She and can down a hot cocoa in no time flat. Find out more about her here. She is the editor of our Blessed Conversations Series and guide for the Gift of You course.