Two years ago, my husband and I moved ourselves and our two young boys into a small apartment with high hopes. During the next six months, those high hopes came crashing down. We faced an unplanned pregnancy, a crabby neighbor who pounded the walls when our boys walked down the hall, and the news that despite our plans to rest for a few years we were getting the boot and would need to look for new housing in a few short months.
The disappointments came crashing down, like wave upon wave, barely giving us time to gather our bearings and plant our feet. How could we handle another baby right now? Who would rent to a family with three small children? This would be our third move in three years. I felt like the Apostles in today’s Gospel. I had one measly loaf, and I just couldn’t understand how God was going to make our finances and hope stretch.
“Do you not remember . . .” (Mark 8:18)
He had provided before and of course He would provide again, but all I could focus on was the smallness of my faith. I look back on that time and I imagine Jesus leaning in, looking me in the eye and whispering, “Do you still not understand?” I didn’t, but I was starting to.
We walked through the doors laid out before us and decided we would keep walking until He closed one. He led us right into our new home. The home where we bathe our children and tuck them into bed. The home where we sit with family and friends, sharing meals, memories, joys, and sorrows. He is faithful, and He provides. Often, we become so focused on our own plans and expectations that we fail to look up and see the miracles He’s working this very moment.
Are you engrossed in a difficult time, hoping to open your eyes and see the miracle, His gift, before you? What can help you to be more aware of the gifts God is providing during this challenging time?
Jacqueline Skemp is a daughter, sister, wife, and mother who endures living in Minnesota after leaving California for her one true love. You can find out more about her here.