"If today you hear his voice, harden not your hearts." (Psalm 95:8)
His crying punctuated the early evening air. The toddler who just wouldn't, couldn't go to sleep and stay asleep. The three year old who wanted someone to be with me and who really can't sleep and who finds my bedroom is bothering me. I tossed the shirt I was folding, turned off the podcast, dumped my glass of recently poured La Croix (berry, of course), and tromped back up the stairs. I huffed, really. Indignant he was taking MY time, wasting MY already-spent energy, and making MY heart even harder.
Maybe it's the project you worked really hard on that your supervisor edited and (botched in your opinion). Maybe it's the group project you're not the leader on whose leader took all your ideas and presented them as her own. Maybe it's the boyfriend who insists he is the wounded party when you argue even though you were simply bringing up something that was bothering you.
I'd like to double down on being right and justified in all my reactions. If you work with others for your job, or you are a parent and attempt to work with your children, you'll recognize this sentiment, perhaps. I'd suspect even the hermits struggle with this. I'd like to not only harden my heart, but harden it again.
Where is Jesus' voice in all this self-righteousness? Do I leave room for Him or am I overwhelmed by my own voice? The voice of frustration, the voice of exhaustion, the voice of the one who knows it all. Let's not harden our hearts to the tune of our own voices. Let's let His voice fill us and soften up a bit.
Spend a few minutes in a calming quiet. Pray a decade of the Rosary. Ask the Lord to fill you with His voice.
Nell O'Leary is a recovering lawyer who blogs and sews while tending to her husband and four kiddos in the great city of Saint Paul, Minnesota. She serves as Managing Editor for Blessed is She and can down a iced chai tea latte in no time flat. Find out more about her here.