I avoid those conversation circles where maybe three out of ten people carry the discussion.
I never know when to interject without it being awkward, and often I feel lost and my voice, unnecessary. I don’t consider myself shy—I enjoy meeting new people and socializing in general, but introductions in a group setting have piqued my anxiety for as long as I can remember. In my mind I often rehearse my lines before it’s even near my turn to speak.
And then I read passages in the Bible like today’s First Reading from Acts 4:23-31, and I wonder how my introverted self fits into a Gospel mission of being bold.
What does boldness require of me?
In my head, I know it requires trust in God, but I’m also aware that God created me as who and how I am. Speaking loud and proud just isn’t me, and that's okay.
To me, ‘bold’ brings to mind someone who is forthright, always knowing the right thing to say at the right time, standing out from the crowd. While some are gifted with these traits, we can’t all be the bold woman. There's this slight tension as our uniqueness is not accidental, and yet we are each called to evangelize those around us. And there is a boldness that I can possess even as an introvert and ask God to continue to increase.
Boldness has come in quiet, little ways: pausing to bless my food while on a business lunch, sharing with the check-out lady at the grocery store about Sunday Mass when she asks what my weekend plans are, or sharing with a friend something I read in my prayer time.
Yes, I might still find myself in awkward conversations. But when it’s time to go deep, I choose to be courageous and assured in what I know to be true. I can have confidence that I know the Truth, I’ve seen the Way, and I follow the Life.
In my everyday interactions with those around me, I can open or shut doors to the Gospel by my words and my actions.
Let's ask God for the courage to keep the doors flung wide open!
Sarah Ortiz is a Catholic convert, wife, and mother to four boys while living in a 200 year old farmhouse. When not folding laundry, she can be found reading, experimenting in the kitchen, or snagging amazing antique furniture deals. You can find out more about her here.
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