Love is in the air at Christmastime: The secular holiday spirit offers plenty of cute romance movies in snowy towns and festive songs about sweethearts and joyful homecomings. This theme, in its actual form, begins with our faith, for glancing down at the manger, we find the True Love Who came down to earth for us.
Yet as a single woman, perhaps the theme of love is omnipresent in a way that becomes frustrating. While the knowledge of God’s love in the Incarnation is precious to us, it’s natural to feel a pang of sadness during the holidays and to wonder why the “warm and fuzzy” of Christmas seem to be everywhere. Unfortunately, winter blues do not easily give way to theological explanations, and what the mind knows can be difficult for the heart to cling to. Yet the raw edges of complex emotions—from disappointed hopes and keen desires, to unresolved past drama and family wounds—is the very space where the Lord wants to give you a holy hope this Advent.
An Age-Old Longing
And yet, sister, the Christmases that you spend in longing and waiting uniquely position you close to Israel’s expectation of the Savior. Being single grants you the privilege of entering into this expectancy in a particular way by understanding the heart of the Old Testament people. Age after age, they waited to experience the love that would redeem them and restore to them the peace and prosperity for which they were made.
In time, Jesus came, not just as a king or rescuer, but as Love Incarnate. Therefore, your ache can become a place of great encounter, a space gifted by the Lord, to be filled with a more intense desire for His goodness and, ultimately, for eternity.
One of the most important implications of God becoming incarnate is that, in a new way, we can know that our bodies matter. Concrete actions that we perform can signify something deeper and affect our souls––and God Himself lived this, in the person of Jesus Christ made Man! In light of this, consider leaning into rhythms and traditions that will help you process the emotions and transform the space of your waiting into one of renewal and encounter this winter. Here are five ways to start!
Five Ways to Wait in Joyful Hope
1. Deck your halls with Christmas lights . . . and any other decorations that bring you joy.
Golden lights are a cliché aesthetic, I know, but don’t underestimate the significance of luminous decor. Their peaceful glow reminds us that Christ the Light came to bring clarity, hope, and glory to our human condition. Whether you prefer golden, white, or colored bulbs on your tree and garlands, remember at their sight that you are cherished by a very good Father of Lights.
2. Mail Christmas Cards to the women closest to you, especially your single sisters.
There’s nothing more delightful than finding a personalized envelope amid the holiday store ads and winter bills! I’ve enjoyed pulling out red cardstock and calligraphy pens to make my own, pinning and printing lovely designs, or choosing cards featuring my favorite art masterpieces of the Nativity. A handwritten card is a loving gesture, an elegant and intentional way to share Christmas joy with friends far away.
3. Read a work of classic literature for some renewing holiday hygge.
Hearing “classic literature” and “Christmas” in the same breath might make you think of A Christmas Carol. While Dickens’ novel is one to enjoy again and again, there’s more! Try one of these longer, restful reads perfect for winter days. (They all have excellent film adaptations, too, so find your coziest blanket and some steaming hot chocolate to accompany you in your viewing pleasure!)
- Pick up any of the seven books in Pick up any of the seven books in The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis, , and your soul will be consoled by the character of Aslan. He famously undoes the “always winter, never Christmas” of the The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe and instills peace and bravery in the hearts of the most fearful characters.
- Emma is one of Jane Austen’s longest and arguably greatest works, and one event in the plot takes place at Christmas. It’s a riveting novel designed around the seasons of the year as a multi-layer metaphor.
- The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien contains a December 25th departure and a fellowship that climbs through snowy crags. Stunning Catholic themes unite with a powerful adventure tale of perseverance, wisdom, nobility, and sacrifice in this well-known trilogy.
4. Establish rhythms that will honor your body amid December’s hustle and bustle.
Set and commit to and commit to a bedtime goal of turning the of turning the lights off every night by a certain time. (Doing this had great results for my emotional stability and overall productivity.) Eat to honor your body by by prioritizing protein and nutritious, seasonal, seasonal produce while still enjoying (in their place) the sweet treats that accompany Christmas. Make time for a daily skincare routine to uphold the care that your body deserves to help you feel well.
5. Pray with Advent Scriptures about waiting and hope.
Passages from Isaiah and other prophets about the coming Messiah fill our Advent liturgies and prayers. Several of these are rich with peace and promise for you:
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Discernment and waiting may feel like steps in the dark, but Isaiah 9:1 reminds us that the Lord promises to illuminate the darkness of our journey: “The people who walked in darkness have seen a great light.”
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Although extreme highs and lows fill our spiritual and emotional space, Isaiah 40:3-4 indicates that the Lord can renew and straighten our path through them: “Prepare the way of the Lord! . . . Every valley shall be lifted up, every mountain and hill made low.”
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The Lord romances us lavishly, as my favorite Christmas Mass reading (the first reading on Christmas Eve) reminds us: “You shall be called ‘My Delight is in her’ . . . For as a young man marries a virgin, your Builder shall marry you; and as a bridegroom rejoices in his bride so shall your God rejoice in you.” (Head to Isaiah 62:1-5 to ponder the entire passage.)
You Are Meant to be a Christmas Girl
Christmas is for you, my sister. Whether you are naturally a “holly jolly” sort of gal who loves everything from Christmas Pinterest boards and baking cookies to festive red ribbon earrings or you find the holidays quite difficult, God wants all His dear daughters to be Christmas girls.
Love is what draws each of us at Christmas time. This is not just something in Hallmark movies on the one hand or mere theological doctrine on the other. It’s a tangible, personal reality and the answer to every ache and question of your heart.
This Advent, may you wait in joyful hope, for He truly comes, and He will not disappoint.
Leila Joy Castillo calls Florida home but left her heart in hill country long ago. An alumna of Ave Maria University, she freelances in Catholic communications and is a published writer, primarily on Blessed is She and Ascension. When not dabbling in the multitudinous Google docs of her articles, Leila delights in music, personalist philosophy, quality time with her younger siblings, and her literary trifecta: Austen, Lewis, and Dante. You can find her on Instagram @leila_joyinthejourney or follow her personal site here.
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