
When I was a novice, our founder asked us questions at the end of class. After one class, I thought I was giving him a deep, clever response, when I answered “love” to a question I can no longer recall. Instead of being impressed, however, Father Flanagan had a follow up question for me: “What is love?” At that moment, I realized I could not define love. I could recognize it, but I couldn’t define it.
Life had altered the definition of love.
What is Love?
Sorrow and suffering can blindside us into thinking that God does not see, does not know, or does not love us. It can make us question the truth that He loves us and that He is love. His very Being is love. However, being used in a relationship can lead us to mistrust genuine love. Struggles in our relationships with our own fathers can skew our receptivity to the Father’s love. Life can cause us to misdefine love.
We must hold up our personal definition of God’s love against what Sacred Scripture and the Magisterium of the Church say about love. Wherever we are on the journey—new convert, disciple, saint—we need to check our understanding of love and make sure it has not shifted due to outside circumstances. God and His love do not move or change. The only thing that changes is the depth we get to go into it.
God is Love
The Catechism of the Catholic Church says that “‘God is love’ and love is his first gift, containing all others” (§ 733). Praying through the mirror of Sacred Scripture is a profound way to encounter this gift of His love.
The well-known chapter from First Corinthians comes to mind as a way to understand love. However, I invite you as you read this passage to replace in your mind each use of “love” with “God.”
If I speak in human and angelic tongues but do not have love, I am a resounding gong or a clashing cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and comprehend all mysteries and all knowledge; if I have all faith so as to move mountains but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give away everything I own, and if I hand my body over so that I may boast but do not have love, I gain nothing. Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, [love] is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. If there are prophecies, they will be brought to nothing; if tongues, they will cease; if knowledge, it will be brought to nothing. For we know partially and we prophesy partially, but when the perfect comes, the partial will pass away. When I was a child, I used to talk as a child, think as a child, reason as a child; when I became a man, I put aside childish things. At present we see indistinctly, as in a mirror, but then face to face. At present I know partially; then I shall know fully, as I am fully known. // 1 Corinthians 13:1-12
There are so many other insights into God’s love throughout Scripture, but here are a few favorites.
His Love is Presence
Ever present in your midst, I will be your God, and you will be my people. // Leviticus 26:12
Do not fear: I am with you; do not be anxious: I am your God. I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my victorious right hand. // Isaiah 41:10
I will bring you home. // Zephaniah 3:20
I am with you. // Haggai 2:4
The Lord is near. // Philippians 4:5
His Love is Constant
Yet I am always with you. // Psalm 73:23
With age-old love I have loved you. // Jeremiah 31:3
I, the LORD, do not change // Malachi 3:6
The Father Himself loves you. // John 16:27
God is faithful. // 2 Corinthians 1:18
His Love is Active
The LORD, the LORD, a God gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in love and fidelity, continuing his love for a thousand generations. // Exodus 34:6-7
You are precious in my eyes and honored and I love you. // Isaiah 43:4
I love you, says the LORD. // Malachi 1:2
The love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the holy Spirit that has been given to us. // Romans 5:5
His Love Conquers
You have rescued me according to your abundant mercy. // Sirach 51:3
My love shall never fall away from you. // Isaiah 54:10
I will lift you up, I will carry you to safety. // Isaiah 46:4
Everything I have is yours. // Luke 15:31
I will not leave you orphans; I will come to you. // John 14:18
Perfect love drives out fear. // 1 John 4:18
He Loves
His steadfast love endures forever. // Psalm 136 (This is repeated twenty-six times in this Psalm, because we need to hear it so much!)
He loved His own in the world and He loved them to the end. // John 13:1
God is love. // 1 John 4:16
How to Define Love
Turns out, love is hard to define. Words such as affection, like, desire, and to hold dear are all used in trying to define love in Webster’s Dictionary. Father Flanagan, in our class discussion, explained love, using Saint Thomas Aquinas's classic definition, as “willing the good of the beloved.”
The dictionary also defines love as something to “thrive in.” God is willing our good (and He always is) so we can thrive.
How would our lives look differently if we thrived in His love? When have you thrived in His love?