What I Can't Control

She came and fell at his feet. // Mark 7:25

The overhead light in my car flashed off as an indication that I had been sitting motionless in my driveway for too long. I waited for a spark of hope to motivate me to gather my things and go inside, but the feelings of defeat persisted.

My family half-way across the country was going through a difficult time and, even though we’d endured hardship many times before, I had never felt so helpless. I racked my brain for things I could do, ways to diffuse the situation, any action that would grant me the illusion of control or assistance, but I came up empty-handed. I lived too far away, and the situation was so far out of my control that I could only endure it—not fix it.

As I look back on this season, I can relate the heaviness of my heart to what I imagine the mother in today’s Gospel was experiencing. She had watched her daughter endure terrible suffering through the unclean spirit and in her helplessness and desperation, she brought her petition to the feet of Jesus.

I wish I could say I did the same, but surrender has been a hard-fought battle. In moments of suffering, my natural response is to regain control, to hold on tighter to my ideals, and to figure out how to make things go my way and lessen the burden of those around me. (Spoiler alert: it never works.)

Today’s Gospel challenges me to consider a different response: one that doesn’t toil or control, but lays everything down at the feet of Our Lord and makes room for His providence.

Sister, what would our lives look like if we trusted the Lord to provide for our every need? How much peace would we have if we truly believed that the Lord is in control? He knows our hearts, He knows our problems, and He’s the only One Who can save us.

Let’s allow Him to work a miracle in our lives, even if that miracle begins in our hearts.

Lay everything down. // Kelsey DassanceClick to tweet

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