Turning Away from Anger

“What profit would there be for one to gain the whole world and forfeit his life?” Matthew 16:26

While preaching one day, the priest at Mass challenged us with a question, “What if you were given all the best gifts for your birthday, but you didn’t get on your knees and thank God for your very life?”

He expounded with more examples, each time ending with, “If you didn’t thank God, you missed the point.” My takeaway: I could gain everything my heart desires (or so I think), but lose my spiritual life because I do not acknowledge the Lord’s gifts and presence in my life.

I might be behind the curve here, but I think I’m starting to figure out what it means to “lose my life” for Christ. It’s not as much like martyrdom as I once thought (though the Lord still may call me to be a martyr—may I have courage!). Losing my life for Christ today is an act of the will, moment by moment.

The same day this priest challenged us in Mass, I’d nearly lost my cool with my youngest son on the way to Mass. He’d yanked on his carseat straps, making it too tight to buckle. Without the manual handy (or previous experience on this model), I couldn’t quickly figure out how to fix it. I was so ticked off!

Faced with this irritation threatening an on-time arrival, I could have thrown my hands up and declared “Fine! We’re not going!” and blamed it on the foolishness of a child. I could have spent fifteen sweaty minutes (Texas heat!) trying to figure out the seat and either have arrived late to Mass or stayed home–angry in either case.

By the grace of God, I rejected those visceral reactions in favor of accepting His grace and “plan B” with an old booster seat. We made it to Mass.

It’s a small example, but it’s that sort of losing my (sinful) life and denying my selfishness to take up my cross and follow Christ that will one day make me holy. I’m no martyr. So far I haven’t had to defend my faith in the face of terrible persecution or threats to my physical life. But I did turn away from what would have been sinful anger and terrible reactions.

Sister, living our faith requires that we live paradoxically: to find our lives, we must first lose them. To follow Christ and find joy: we must carry our cross. I invite you today to offer your gut reactions—those of anger and frustration—to the Lord, and let Him lead with grace towards living with a heart conformed to His.

To find our lives, we must first lose them. // Gina FenstererClick to tweet

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About Gina Fensterer

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Gina Fensterer is a wife of 20 years and mother of six children. She is passionate about finding God in the ordinary moments of her vocation. She loves Adoration, praying with Scripture, long morning walks, and fitness. She was a contributing author to And Hay Became Holy and our children's devotional prayer book called Rise Up. Read more by her here.