Peter began to say to him, “We have given up everything and followed you.” // Mark 10:28
Sitting in a dimly lit room, only two little candles illuminated the little monstrance holding Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament. With praise and worship being sung in the back of the room, the dark room held the voices of young adults singing of the Lord’s goodness. With my journal and favorite pen in hand, I was also singing, but experienced a shift in my heart. I couldn’t help but stare at the blue wall off to the side with open curtains leaving way for the night’s moon to shine.
Even as I sang beautiful songs of praise to Jesus, that shift opened me up to the realization that, like the disciples, I doubted the Lord’s rewards for me, His view of me, even as I was singing His praises. I doubted His ability to bring truth, beauty, and goodness into the garden of my heart as I walked in what seemed like a desert. I doubted that He was a good Father Who gives good gifts to His beloveds. I doubted my daughterhood in light of His Fatherhood.
Isn’t that how we approach prayer at times? We like to sing these songs or pray certain prayers to fit in with the crowd or because they are second-nature or simply out of habit. Yet, in the crevices of our hearts, we still doubt the Lord’s goodness in our own life.
Allow Him to soften those areas of doubt in your heart. Let Him convict you of truth that He is a Good Father Who desires nothing but truth, goodness, and beauty for your life. Allow God the Father to father you and show you what true daughterhood looks like, allow God the Son to show you how to live out your daughterhood, and allow God the Holy Spirit to give you the grace to be able to live as His daughter with the tender guide of Our Lady.
Ask the Lord to give you the faith to give up everything.
Jacky Hernandez is a SoCal gal through and through where the sun never stops shining and beaches abide. Studying Psychology at Cal State Fullerton, she hopes to one day provide Catholic Holistic Therapy while pursuing wholeness and holiness in her everyday life. Her favorite things include heart-to-heart conversations, Our Lady, strong coffee, and authentic femininity.
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