When I first started to grow flowers I learned about “pinching” wherein you willingly cut back a substantial amount off of a healthy stem and leaves – sometimes more than half of the plant! At first, it felt like I was destroying all of the hard work, time and resources I diligently spent on caring for my little plants. But, trusting the wisdom of those with more gardening experience, I gave them a chop, which provided the energy needed for each plant to grow fuller and produce even more blooms.
It wasn’t easy, but it was necessary. The beauty that blossomed from that trust was immeasurable.
Blessed is She recently announced the ending of their regional Facebook groups, which was met with some concern regarding the loss of a community many women felt a connection to. And, while I sympathize with the natural pain felt with the ending of something good, I am incredibly hopeful that the closing of this door will open many others for even deeper community and sisterhood to develop and flourish, just as the pinching of certain plants in my garden encouraged the growth of even more flowers.
Just like with gardening, I am not an expert in Facebook groups (or social media in general), but I do have my own experience of the beauty that has come from my local Blessed is She group (which I have never come across in the regional groups run specifically by BIS). In hopes of bringing consolation to those who feel hurt by the closure of the regional groups as well as stirring up some excitement within the local groups that already exist and in those women feeling called to begin a group for their own local community, I wanted to share some ideas for facilitating your own local Catholic women’s Facebook group.
1. Just Begin
Too often we wait for the perfect moment, the perfect amount of training or insert another self-posed barrier here to lean into a call the Holy Spirit has placed on our heart. If you can’t find a Catholic women’s group local to your town or city, start one! If one exists but isn’t very active, reach out and volunteer your time or just start a conversation thread to get the community chatting. If your group is active and you’d still like to participate more, engage on the posts and consider reaching out to the admin team to see if you can be more involved.
*I will say that having a team of administrators in a group does lighten the load. If you’re beginning from scratch, you will have to be the one to engage the community (whether in posts or gatherings) but others that want to be involved will naturally rise to the surface and a direct invitation or ask for them to assist will bear fruit.
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2. Get Creative
There are SO many ways to build community, both online and in person. You don’t have to have a degree in Theology to foster friendships based in faith.
My local BIS group coordinates a variety of events with various topics (or no topic at all) in hopes to meet others where they are and with what they are interested in. Here are a few of the events we’ve scheduled:
- A monthly meeting to dive into one of Blessed is She’s “Blessed Conversation” studies. We met at a central location with a few restaurant options. This not only lightened the load of regularly hosting in someone’s home, but we also found it was helpful for women who were hesitant to go to an unknown home with people they’d never met.
- A weekly Zoom meeting to pray with the BIS devotionals. This started during Covid when we could not gather in person, but continued past 2020 allowing those who could not meet in person due to childcare, transportation or another reason, to gather and share where God was moving in their prayer.
- Regular social events to just gather in community and chat. These range from brunch at someone’s house to dinner at a local restaurant. We’ve also held a “Friendsgiving” potluck the past two years at a local metropark pavilion, which is a group favorite.
- Weekly Community-Building Posts on Facebook. In addition to the typical posts from group members asking for recommendations of local resources (doctors, parishes, VBS, etc.), the admin team for our group has started themed post for community engagement that include sharing selfies of what we are drinking on Monday mornings, a weekly prayer thread, and a random icebreaker-like question for the group to answer.
- A clothing/religious item swap. This was a fun way to get rid of those jeans that no longer fit and that religious statue you were given that you want to go to a home where it will actually be displayed. (It also involved a potluck. We love gathering with food!)
- A local pilgrimage. Admittedly, the one we planned for this summer has been moved to the fall, but we’re so excited to visit a local holy site.
- A “Secret Magi” gift exchange. This was basically a “Secret Santa” exchange but timed around Epiphany given the full schedules leading up to Christmas day. Gifts were mailed or dropped off in person.
- A craft night. We made indoor Marian gardens, but this could be anything and doesn’t need to be religiously themed!
- Book Club. This summer we are starting our first ever book club with fellow book lovers from our Facebook group!
- Family centered activities. Last year we held a “Birthday Party for Mary” where we partnered with a local parish. After attending Mass together, we had a birthday cake in honor of the Blessed Mother. We all sang Happy Birthday to her! In past years, our group gathered at another local shrine for Mass and then went to brunch together.
These are a few of the ways we’ve worked to cultivate a local Christ-centered community, but the ways in which you build yours is not limited to just this list! Life with Christ is abundant and you never know what other ways He could be calling you to foster community within your local group.
3. Focus on Quality Over Quantity
Every post or event or other form of engagement will not have remarkable participation. You will get 10 RSVPs to an event and have only 3 women show up. You will share a post that has just one like. And the enemy will whisper in your ear that you have failed, especially in comparison to the numbers seen in the former Regional groups. Even in ministry, we can fall into the trap of numbers defining our success, but as we know from Matthew’s Gospel, “where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them” (Matthew 18:20).
Those three women that came to your potluck might have been overwhelmed in a larger group and not made a solid enough connection to schedule a coffee date the following week. The post that you shared may have been an answered prayer to the woman who liked it, or moved others to prayer away from social media, forgetting to respond. God’s goodness is beyond our full comprehension, and a big part of faithfulness is trust.
So as we mourn the loss of a Facebook group we’ve grown attached to and pray about how we ourselves can work to cultivate true community and sisterhood, may we remember to trust that God’s abundance will pour out in new vessels and in new ways that we may have never even imagined.
Sarah Rose, M.Div., is a wife and mother living in Cleveland, Ohio. She loves Ignatian Spirituality and is passionate about faith, social justice, and the intersection of the two. Find out more about her here.
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