Your End of the Covenant

I prayed for this child, and the LORD granted my request. // 1 Samuel 1:27

Last June I found myself in thick discernment and thick midsummer Florida humidity. I had just ended my time as a FOCUS missionary and traveled from Massachusetts to south Florida for a retreat in hopes of finding some sort of answer as to what to do next. All I wanted was clarity about what was next, but fear and anxiety over my options grew each day.

The first day of retreat, I headed to spiritual direction and aired my grievances and frustrations. I spluttered, “I know He’s made a covenant with me. . . . I am just getting frustrated that I do not see it.” She paused and looked at me with tremendous kindness and gentleness and asked me, “How are you holding up your end of the covenant?”

You could hear a pin drop in the room. Her words silenced me and, in that moment, I was gifted with clarity greater than insights into my next job prospect. I was the one not holding my end of the covenant. Despite frequenting the sacraments, praying, seeking counsel, I was still holding one thing back: my heart.

"That is all He wants. Perhaps take the chance and give Him all of it on this retreat."

I knew she was right. I needed to be re-rooted before being re-routed.

Sometimes in the midst of confusion and anxiety we can fall into the trap of demanding answers and demanding clarity from Our Lord. We can even pray to all the novenas in the world for answers, but if we are not giving our entire hearts to Him first, we may end up even more frustrated and witness our anxiety growing.

In today’s readings, Hannah gives her whole heart to Our Lord, offering petitions with freedom, confidence, and joy. She does not hold back her heart’s desire, but does so knowing that it will require giving her own heart to Him. Where is He inviting you to give all of your heart back to Him today?

I needed to be re-rooted before being re-routed. // Mariana PimientoClick to tweet

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