Bitter, Wild Grapes

Then he looked for the crop of grapes, but what it yielded was wild grapes. // Isaiah 5:2

Bitterness: one of the differences between a good crop of grapes and wild grapes. After my first miscarriage I sometimes feared that I would become bitter. My heart felt tender and vulnerable, my grief real and valid as there had been loss of life and love. I mostly welcomed the grief except for the part that scared me—being upset with the Lord. If I opened the door to that sentiment, I thought, I might become bitter. I might look at life with pessimism and at the Lord with suspicion. 

Suffering and heartache are interesting tools in the pruning, loving hand of the Lord. They are sharp and in fact, potentially quite dangerous, since things can really go sideways quickly in the spiritual life. The Lord wishes to allow these sufferings that some good might come of it but we, as free persons, can choose how we respond to these hardships. So that means there is a chance that things may go haywire. There is a possibility that we might become bitter and hardened. 

And yet, as we see in today’s First Reading (Isaiah 5:1-7), the Lord is still willing to take that chance, to allow our security to be broken, our foundations to be trampled upon, and our dreams and hopes to be laid waste. Why does He permit this ruin? Why allow His beloved and cherished people to undergo turmoil and difficulties? He permits these things that the vines of the vineyard might become domesticated, cultivated—a renewed species to produce grapes that give sweet, choice wine. 

I invite you, sister, to pray with me that when we are faced with life’s heartaches and difficult seasons—the ones that knock us down and shatter our defenses—we may still turn to the Lord, becoming “a people that will produce [His] fruit” (Matthew 21:43) and allowing Him to gather a good crop of grapes from our vineyard. When we are tempted towards bitterness and suspicion of His goodness and good intentions, may we ask Him to restore the ruins and make our hearts fertile places.