I sat cross-legged and irritated in worship. I couldn’t find my rhythm, couldn’t find any rest.
I love to pray this way, I reminded myself. I loved worshipping in a living room with dear friends, sharing Scripture and encouragement, pouring out our affection at the feet of the Father. But on that Saturday night, nothing worked.
It wasn’t the song list or the people, the room temperature or the chair I sat in. It was me. Something inside of me was restless and angry. No change of position or song could calm or comfort me.
In a brief moment of honesty, I blurted out in my heart, “I feel so unseen, Lord.” Lonely tears welled up in my eyes, but even then I didn’t crack, didn’t soften.
Maybe your heart, too, has been hardened. After a year of disappointment after disappointment, loss after loss, perhaps your hope has dried up and folded in on itself. Your precious heart, once tender and open, has become jagged and walled up.
After the final blessing, I stood up from my dark little corner as heavy-hearted and discouraged as when I sat down. Making my way across the room, I was intercepted by the priest who’d closed us in prayer.
This spiritual father laid his hands on my shoulders and looked at me with what I knew was the fierce love of the Father. He said, “I just want you to know, I see you.”
The Lord had heard my prayer. Of course He had.
“Shall he who shaped the ear not hear? Or he who formed the eye not see?” the Psalmist asks, almost incredulously. Of course He does.
When we don’t hear Him, He’s still listening. When we can’t see or feel Him, He is still near.
And today, right now, in the Word and this very devotion, the Lord has come close and is speaking to you.
He wants you to know He’s heard every word, every prayer. He sees you. He hasn’t missed a thing. He hasn’t left you alone for a second, and He will never, ever abandon you.
Remember that today.
LOVING GOD, LOVING OTHERS
A NEW WORKSHOP
COME BACK TO FIRST LOVE
