On paper, this guy was perfect, everything I wanted in a future spouse. It was like God had designed him with me in mind, and we were going to live happily ever after.
Except for one little problem: he was totally not into me. And not only was he not into me, he had rejected me in a way that made left me feeling like a fool. I cried bitter tears into the shoulders of more than one girlfriend, wondering how I could have been so wrong.
This is not the only time I had mistakenly thought I knew what God’s will was. Discerning the Lord’s will is not always easy. Sometimes a thing may look so good that I want it to be God’s will for me. I may even be able to persuade myself that it is God’s will. But, ultimately, my efforts to control my future are futile. I can only see the present moment while the Lord sees it all.
Waiting for Him to show me His plan is always better than making my own.
"Not as man sees does God see, because he sees the appearance but the Lord looks into the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7b).
The Lord knows my heart. He knows what I can handle, and He knows exactly what I need. He sees what I am capable of, and He loves me in spite of my weaknesses. Every heartache He has allowed me to go through, including the one in this story, He has worked for good. He has proven Himself to be trustworthy.
Discerning God’s will for me has not become any easier, but trusting in Him has. The circumstances of my life are still confusing and disappointing, but I know the Lord sees it all and that He is in control. His goodness towards me can always be counted on.
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Anna Coyne is a wife, mother, and convert to the Catholic Faith. She is a classically trained pianist who, after teaching for ten years now stays home with her three young children. but still manages to flex her creative muscles through writing, knitting, and gardening. She is proud to call Saint Paul home and loves everything about living in Minnesota, except for winter. She is a contributing author to our children's devotional prayer book called Rise Up. You can find out more about her here.