Saint Paul is my cheerleader today. His words make me feel emboldened and ready to take on the day, evangelizing my own corner of the world. I feel the joy and zeal that comes from being spiritually re-charged by the words of a saint. I can gracefully handle any comment about my family size, any doubting question from my teen, any snide retort from anyone.
Just kidding, sisters. I do feel encouraged by Saint Paul, but when reality interrupts my contemplation, my cheeks flush and my pulse quickens. I wonder if I can handle difficult situations well, or witness cheerfully to my children through my example. I question myself if I answered well when the barista asked me, “What kind of book are you writing?” literally moments after I typed out the ways I feel encouraged by Paul. Do I own my faith and proclaim Jesus Christ, or deny Him because explaining that I am "writing a devotional based on Scripture for a women’s ministry" is (practically speaking) an inconvenient mouthful?
Jesus’ warnings about the condemnation coming if we live in denial of Him place holy fear in my heart—who in her right mind would deny Christ, thereby choosing condemnation? Not me, yet it is hard to publicly acknowledge Him without embarrassment. Introverted to a fault, I would much rather prefer to keep my proclaiming to the silence of my blog and my monthly devotion for Blessed is She. I don’t have to see you to tell you about my love for Jesus. I don’t have to stumble over what to say or how to say it, because the delete function is so handy; I can retype my words over and over until they sound like what I mean.
Jesus yearns for me to speak His name especially when I’d rather keep quietly busy. Hopefully He still delights in me when I can't quite find the right spoken words, but I speak of His love anyway. When that barista approached me, I could have said, “Oh, it’s just a blog post,” but that would have been a lie and a failure. Surely Saint Paul had been praying for me that day, for I answered with confidence, though I probably lacked eloquence (introvert put on the spot!). I'm grateful for the Spirit with me that day, the Spirit Jesus said would be with me in the moment, to guide me in what to say.
Pray with me today, sisters, for Saint Paul's zeal in our lives.
"That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give us a spirit of wisdom and revelation
resulting in knowledge of him.
May the eyes of our hearts be enlightened,
that we may know what is the hope that belongs to his call,
what are the riches of glory
in his inheritance among the holy ones,
and what is the surpassing greatness of his power
for us who believe" (Ephesians 1:17-19)
Say His name, pray His name, speak it aloud today with love and reverence.
Gina Fensterer is a Colorado native at heart, but the West Coast beach life suits her just fine. She currently lives in small coastal area of California with her husband and six children. She loves the Jesus prayer, coffee at any time of day, homemade salsa, photography, and sleepy toddler snuggles. You can find out more about her here.