I don't want to be last . . . at anything. I fight the desire and temptation to be seen and noticed—whether that's by my husband, or friends, or strangers on social media. Doing things my way and doing them well: I thrive off that! Recognition and affirmation for my accomplishments are stumbling blocks to peace, something you may have experienced, sister.
Psalm 119:165 reminds us, "Lovers of your law have much peace, for them there is no stumbling block."
And yet I realize that in my desires to be seen and noticed, to be recognized and affirmed, I quickly come undone if I try only to seek these things from the world. I become the woman that longs to be first for no other reason than to say that I was first. I become the woman that longs to be seen for no other reason than to feel a sense of belonging. I become all about me and less about Him and how He guides us, His children.
When I step back and sit quietly in His presence, I am undone still. I am undone because of how He sees me: beautiful, beloved, and worthy. I am undone because of His great love and affection for me. I am undone because He offers me supreme peace.
For all of us, sisters, when we put His love for us first, the longings of our hearts to be seen, noticed, recognized and affirmed are satisfied. We are no longer tempted to pursue recognition or affirmation from the world, and can look beyond it. Let us focus our gaze on Him and rest joyfully knowing that while we sometimes feel we are not enough, He always is.
If you're wondering how to pray a novena, start here.
Shalini Blubaugh is a Minnesota transplant living in Denver, Colorado with her sweet husband, Matt, their brand new gal pal, Callan, and quite large GSD pup, Sully. She is a health coach and loves pizza, because #balance. Shalini graduated from the University of Minnesota – Twin Cities, served with NET Ministries, and went on to attend Law School. She graduated with her J.D. and happily leaves all things Law behind! Some of her favorites include travel, re-connecting with old friends and making new ones, the ways in which God so beautifully brings all things full circle in His time, and a good, loud thunderstorm. Find out more about her here.