Every morning I wake up and everything in my being tells me not to get out of bed. DO NOT leave this stillness, this warmth, this comfort—my body tells me. I can even rationalize it, if I try hard enough. "I mean, I don't really need to get up right now (I do)" "The kids can all get ready for school without me just this once (they can't)." Most days it takes a serious act of the will to get myself up and running. Even though I know it's right, even though I know it's what I must do.
It makes me think of how deep the trend of stubborn runs in everybody. I read the readings for today and it's like I'm reading the story of my own life—she hears, but she doesn't listen, she knows, but she doesn't move. My inherited temptation to sin is no surprise to me, but what does surprise me is how casually I can treat my defects. I grow numb to their monotony and my manner becomes casual and apathetic towards my sin. I begin to treat them like they are tendencies I can easily master . . . someday, when I get around to it. In reality, these sinful tendencies are deeply imbedded in me. Today, Scripture is telling me "Look! Look here at all the stubborn people since the beginning of time!" In the presence of the prophets, and in the presence of the Lord Himself, even. Not hearing, not doing, not moving.
Goodness, how much more I need to know myself . . . my faults, my patterns. I need to see them, so I can fight them. Honestly and tirelessly.
Lord, help me to conquer myself today, and to conquer the complacency that so often accompanies my sin. Because it doesn't have to be the same ole'. It can be better, brighter, new.
Blythe Fike is the wife of Kirby and mother of 7 smallish kids. She loves the quiet life in small town SoCal. You can find out more about her here.