I lay in the quiet and try to focus my thoughts. I hear the shower running in the other room as the light begins to filter in through the shutters. I long for that first sip of coffee, but I know my quiet time will soon be replaced with the sounds of family life.
In this waning half-silence, I recollect the day before. The time when I snapped a snarky response to my teen and cut him to the core, the habit I have of automatically turning to scroll on my phone in every spare moment, the irritation I felt, and then denied, when I got destroyed at checkers, the less-than-loving response I provided when someone just wanted a little help, the thoughtlessness with which I have been treating my body.
The memories hold heaviness. Little things each day add up to big things.
Did I recite the Lord’s statutes and profess love for Him, yet fail to live a life of discipline as the psalmist accuses (see Psalm 50)?
You bet I did.
And I have to sit with that reality for a moment. We aren’t perfect, but we are often capable of better when we cooperate with His grace, when we rely a little more on Him, when we ask for His help.
I am a daughter of the King of Kings.
He wants greatness from me and for me, and everything is possible through Him. His power of God is a saving power. And through His love, I am redeemed.
Each day is a new day during which He is able to make a new disciple of me. He is able to cast out the demons and reclaim me as the first fruit of His creation. Each morning is new, and He never tires of my repentance.
He is the good and loving Father to Whom I belong.