How can I know the way? Lord, really, I cannot do this thing You are asking of me, I don’t have the strength to endure this trial, in fact, I am not entirely sure I even know what it is You want me to do.
How can we know and live the way?
Oh, we of little faith! Sisters, do any of you also feel fear and trembling looking ahead at what God asks? Even at the same time we feel awe and wonder, still overcome with joy from Easter and the Resurrection?
I wonder, was Saint Thomas’ question one of faith, even if fearful? Jesus had just a moment ago told the group of Apostles, “Do not let your hearts be troubled . . . Where I am going you know the way.” Saint Thomas breaks the silence. He asks “how.”
I know how this ends. Unlike Saint Thomas—who at the time couldn’t know how the story ended—we have the privilege of being on the other side of history. We know Jesus rose from the dead. We know Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life. We know how to tap into the life of sanctifying grace through the Sacraments. We know the Way.
And still, despite knowing how the story goes, I don't know how to know the way, to really know it inside, deeply and without fear. My heart hides under fear even as we celebrate the Easter season. My joy for our Resurrected Lord is muted by living in fear of living the Way. Am I going to live like the many who simply could not move past their doubt and disbelief while Jesus walked in their midst?
Here we can look to Saint Thomas for our example. Saint Thomas who wasn’t sure, but wasn’t afraid to ask. He who wasn’t sure, but trusted the Lord and stayed faithful. How, Lord? How does this work out? Increase my faith. Give me your peace, so that my heart will not be troubled. Hold my hand and show me again the Way. Help me to trust you.
Sisters, whatever trials you are enduring right now, ask Jesus to show you the way to live them, the way to embrace them, and the way to turn them over to Him.
Gina Fensterer is a wife, daughter, mother, friend, homeschooling mama, and Colorado native. You can find out more about her here.