My mind was numb as I exited the hospital parking lot. This was it. We had reached my mom’s final days. The doctor had told us we’d have one more year with her, but we barely had made it to six months, and now I was days away from saying goodbye forever.
I drove my car back to my parents’ house for a family shift change and the song “King of My Heart” came on the radio. As the vocalist sang to God the Father, “You are good, you’re good, oh . . .” I burst into tears. A part of me felt utterly broken and defeated by this heinous cancer that was stealing my mom from us, but the other part of me clung to the Father.
The lyrics continued, “You’re never going to let, You’re never going to let me down.” I knew deep in my heart that despite the pain and the sorrow that was coursing through me, God would not let me down and He’d pull me through. I whispered, “God, in the joy and the sorrow, You are good.”
It was only by the grace of God and by the prayers of countless family and friends that I was able to surrender to the will of God at that moment. Almost a year later, the pain is still there. It didn’t magically go away—even now, I had to stop typing this as fresh sorrow and sobs washed over me.
However, as I dried my tears, I recalled today’s Psalm: "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want . . . . Even though I walk in the dark valley I fear no evil; for you are at my side with your rod and your staff that give me courage" (Psalm 23).
As Catholic Christians, we’re not promised a life without pain, and the holidays can be a bittersweet time. This Advent, we can take comfort that the Savior will never leave us. In those moments when we’re grieving or struggling, God is there to console and strengthen us to live another day bravely for Him.
Take your griefs and sorrows before Our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament today. If you can't get to an adoration chapel, watch this live stream.
Bobbi Rol is a wife, mama and blogger living on the Monterey Bay in CA with her husband, teen daughter, and three rambunctious boys. When she is not dodging light sabers or stepping on Legos, she can be found outside with her family, catching a late night movie, or decorating her planner. She is a contributing author to our children's devotional prayer book, Rise Up. You can find out more about her here.