I nervously bit my lip as I waited in line for Confession. I had just gone a couple of weeks before, but I was struggling with a certain sin and felt defeated that I had to confess it again. I walked into the confessional and poured out my heart, sharing my struggles. Breath held, I then waited.
Thankfully, the priest was very gentle with me saying, "Be not afraid. Don’t let this fear of your sin stop you (or make you feel incapable of) going deeper with God and loving Him more. He knows your heart. Picture God in the garden calling out, 'Where are you?' He’s not mad, but He is calling you back to His side."
As I let the words sink in, I couldn’t stop the tears from falling. God wasn’t mad. He was just calling me back to His side.
That experience rushed back to my thoughts as I read today’s Psalm: "He who fashioned the heart of each, He who knows all their works" (Psalm 33:15).
Sometimes it’s easy for us to doubt God’s mercy towards us. We repeat the lies:
"I don’t deserve forgiveness."
"I’m hopeless because I can’t get it together."
"God is tired of forgiving me this same sin."
We may know in our heads that these are not true, but our hearts don’t always believe it.
However, God knows our hearts, our thoughts, and our struggles. Rather than being upset when we fall, He calls out our name, hoping we will come back to His side. Close your eyes and imagine yourself walking back to Him and saying you're sorry. See Him wiping away your tears and holding your cheeks in His hand as He says, "I love you and you are forgiven."
Let His mercy sweep over you and feel His peace fill your heart.
Be not afraid to return to His side.