I, too, have been Saul; not in breathing murderous threats (Acts 9:1) or raging anger towards Christ’s followers, but I have fallen prey to the “holier than thou” mindset before.
I remember my mom sharing with me someone we mutually knew was preparing to receive the Sacrament of Confirmation. My knee jerk reaction was, “What? How? Mom, do they even go to church?” Then I began interrogating her further. I needed to know if this person and her sponsor understood the significance of receiving the Sacrament.
In my righteous indignation, I spouted off, “Do they even know what the seven gifts of the Holy Spirit are?!” I could feel myself getting agitated with each question and wondering why my mom wasn’t reacting to any of it. She simply said, “It’s not my job.”
I was completely dumbfounded. There I was standing in my mom’s kitchen beside myself with my church-lady attitude at a ten on the scale of ten. My mom wouldn’t indulge my need to question this person’s credentials to receive the Sacrament. She kept cooking away, and I knew that was a sign for me to let it go.
On the way home from my mom’s house, I was overcome by one of those internal conversations that happens only when you are driving. I thought, Why are you judging so harshly? Does God not provide to those who have open hearts to receive Him?
I sat with these questions and my church-lady rampage evaporated. I felt like a tiny child being disciplined by a loving Father, gently teaching me that judgment restricts love.
While I didn't have to endure a conversion as intense as Saul, my own conversion resulted in awareness that although I wasn’t physically persecuting anyone, I could be equally harmful in my words.
Sister, our conversions are ongoing. As we regain our sight, as the Lord helps guide our thoughts, He also gives us a chance to proclaim His tender love and pray to receive His mercy.
Learn how to pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet right here.
Mytae Carrasco Wallace is a wife, mother of three, and holds a Masters in Public Administration. She is Las Vegas born and raised, and went to grade school, high school, and college all on the same street. She and her husband lead pre-cana retreats, and she coordinates Blessed is She small groups all over the Valley. On the daily, she’s raising her kids, choreographing dance moves to entertain them, and enjoying street tacos with a side of chips and salsa. Find out more about her here.