But Now I See

“Georgia?” I questioned God with clenched fists and gritted teeth. But it’s humid there and the bugs are barbaric and the thunderstorms wreak destruction upon the earth. Still, I felt His nudge on my heart. Georgia, there was no denying it, was where He wanted my husband and me to be.

But it didn’t make sense, you see. Because I reveled in the warm California sunshine I had grown up with. I had family and friends and work and hobbies all right underneath that westerly open sky, and I didn’t understand why it had to change. I didn’t understand why God would ask such a thing from us.

But He did, and we sent our compass south and east with a call on our hearts that we couldn’t quite figure out.

Why?

We would ask Him when we couldn’t stave off the homesickness. It became our daily chant when things got hard—when my husband succumbed to a deep depression or the loneliness of a new place got the best of us.

Why?

Why?

Why?

A whole year went by with that question in our hearts, and then it followed us all the way back to California where we found home once again. It didn’t make sense to us. Our little jaunt out to the other side of the country wrecked us. It didn’t make sense until I got pregnant with a child we had been waiting ten years for.

And then it became clear.

Because our move to Georgia changed my husband’s job, which changed our insurance, which made it possible for me to get the surgery I needed in California in order for our family to grow.

The blind man in today’s reading was told to “go wash in the pool of Siloam” (John 9:7) after clay was placed over his eyes. And how strange that must have been for him. Because how could he have seen the way to this pool, and why did Jesus put clay over his eyes anyway? Still, he followed Jesus' instructions, and that is when the miracle happened.

Sometimes God’s call is cloaked in darkness. It doesn’t always make sense immediately. But if we follow His promptings on our heart, there is always light at the end. Always.

There was no denying it, was where He wanted my husband and me to be. // @iambritcalClick to tweet

Listen to this story on spiritual darkness and be inspired.

Brittany Calavitta is an enthusiastic advocate for a good book, strong coffee, and a hopeful heart. After battling years of infertility, she and her husband welcomed their first child on September 11, 2016. You can find out more about her here.