The old adage states that “behind every strong man is a strong woman.” Secular culture has typically subscribed to the notion of the man being the one who takes action, gets things done, and reaches heights of success because a woman is behind the scenes ensuring his success. I’m not quite sure that's how Saint Joseph rolled. If anything, he preferred to give the spotlight to Mary, and because of who she is, she didn’t crave the spotlight either. Through Saint Joseph’s fiat and Our Blessed Mother’s fiat, they offered their individual spotlights to raising Jesus and glorifying God. Perhaps a more fitting adage for Saint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother would be that behind every strong couple is a woman and man who belong to each other freely and completely, giving their lives to Jesus Christ. That is what they do for us when we ask them to intercede for us. A United Fiat In their marriage, Saint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother reflected their fiats to one another. There was no hesitation to continue the work of caring for Jesus and meeting His human needs. Their “yes” didn’t come with limitations. They reciprocated the other’s “yes” unconditionally and faithfully. We know that when we ask for their intercession for us to be obedient to God’s will in our lives, we are asking two people who lived it out. Saint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother faced circumstances that most of us will not ever face, but their response was to do as the Lord commanded. That is why we read in books and in prayers, “ite ad Joseph” (go to Joseph) or why people say, “Run to Mary.” If you think about that in terms of when you were a child, you would go to your father and ask him for something you wanted or needed help with. When you got hurt or needed comfort you would run to your mother and she would receive you in her embrace. Mary belonged to Joseph, and Joseph to Mary, so much so that their marriage was very real, since they gave themselves to each other. But how could they do this? Behold the triumph of purity. They reciprocally gave their virginity, and over this virginity they gave each other a mutual right. What right? To safeguard the other’s virtue. // Saint Peter Julian Eymard Saint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother Shield Us In their marital union, Our Blessed Mother and Saint Joseph actively sought to protect one another. Saint Joseph protected Our Blessed Mother and did not cause a scene when he said he would quietly divorce Mary (see Matthew 1:19). Our Blessed Mother similarly protected Saint Joseph in his mission to be holy. Whereas Adam and Eve were the source of evil which was unleashed on the world, Joseph and Mary are the summit from which holiness spreads all over the earth. // Pope St. John Paul II Both of them knew they were called to holiness and protected that holiness in one another and in their marriage. This protection is given to us when we ask Our Blessed Mother to keep us under the mantle of her protection or likewise when we ask Saint Joseph to keep us under the protection of his cloak. A mother instinctively knows how to protect and nurture at the same time. Likewise, we ask Saint Joseph to keep us under the protection of his cloak. A father knows he has to stay attentive to his environment in order to protect his family. A father safeguards his children and is the first line of defense. Both Our Blessed Mother and Saint Joseph know how to protect us. Who would know how to protect us better than they who had to go another way because Herod was after the baby Jesus (see Matthew 2:12)? Similar Litanies In the Litany of Loreto, we invoke several titles of the Blessed Virgin Mary: Mother most chaste, Mother inviolate, and Mother undefiled. These three specific titles are reflected in the Litany of Saint Joseph as well. “Joseph most Chaste,” “Joseph Guardian of Virgins,” and “Guardian of the Virgin.” Pick any of the titles of the Blessed Virgin Mary and you can find it mirrored in the Litany of Saint Joseph. Perhaps not in the exact same words, but if you look closely you will see that each title of the Blessed Virgin Mary has a corresponding response in the Litany of Saint Joseph. Since Mary is what might be called a ‘virginizer’ of young men as well as women, and the greatest inspiration of Christian purity, should she not logically have begun by inspiring and virginizing the first youth whom she had probably ever met – Joseph, the Just? It was not by diminishing his power to love but by elevating it that she would have her first conquest, and in her own spouse, the man who was a man, and not a senile watchman! // Venerable Fulton J. Sheen Saint Joseph reinforced the titles of the Blessed Virgin Mary, thus receiving the titles he has in his own Litany. When we ask Our Blessed Mother to intercede for us under any of her titles—or St. Joseph for that matter—we can be confident that they both have the same inextinguishable desire to draw us near their Son. The Extraordinary Hidden Life Saint Joseph could have been prideful about being the father of the Son of Man, yet he doesn’t make a fuss about it. His carpentry work was probably exceptional because of the kind of heart he had and yet he remained humble. We are told Mary kept all of these things in her heart (see Luke 2:19). She did not run to nearby villages trying to gain status because an angel of the Lord appeared to her or use the fact that she was pregnant with the Christ Child as a means to gain notoriety. She refrained from using this calling from God to gain earthly esteem for herself. Saint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother did not want anything for themselves like the kings and queens who had come before them. They did not desire to usurp the throne from Jesus or scheme against God’s plan in order to bring glory and honor to themselves. Everything pointed back to Jesus. It makes perfect sense that St. Joseph and Our Blessed Mother would be our first advocates, next to Jesus Himself, in helping us draw close to Our Father. Our own lives can often feel so hidden from the world that we convince ourselves that if we aren't producing, then we aren’t allowed to ask Jesus in prayer for the things that are dear to our hearts. That is clearly not true as we see in the hidden life of Saint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother. They know what it is like to live a hidden life and they were raising the Son of Man. This hidden life is what we are called to in our everyday lives to allow Jesus to dwell in us as he dwelt in the hearts of Ssint Joseph and Our Blessed Mother. Saint Joseph and Mother Mary, pray for us! Want to learn more about Saint Joseph, patron of the Universal Church? Check out this incredible video series with our own Beth Davis!   [bctt tweet="The Complementary Intercession of Saint Joseph and the Blessed Mother #BISblog //" via="no"]

I remember when we got married, I joked with my husband that I missed the graffiti from my inner city neighborhood. It’s not that graffiti is something to be applauded (especially the kind that defaces property); however, it was a frequent reminder that my external environment reflected the people who lived around me. The neighborhood I grew up in never hid the daily struggles that the people were enduring. I took comfort in that. I took comfort in knowing that none of us pretended to live perfect lives and that we all dwelt in the discomfort of our obstacles together. Worldly (Dis)Comfort The realities of someone else’s suffering didn’t escape me. It didn’t disappear from my memory like driving by a homeless man off the highway and then moving on with my day. Instead, these social issues were in front of me daily—women pushing their children in grocery carts along with their folded laundry, homeless people walking to Catholic Charities, travelers walking to the nearby Greyhound station, homeless people begging near one of the highway off ramps (typically in pairs so they could split what little they received for the day), a pedestrian crossing the street while talking to himself (an indication of needing medical care and attention), stray dogs aimlessly looking for food as well as other social injustices that were part of everyday life. I didn’t have to go very far to see the needs of my community. All of this offered me plenty for me to pray for and opportunities for me to get over myself and identify with the plight of other human beings. Appearances Don’t Conceal the Need for Human Connection The first time I felt the disparity of where I came from was when I began to nanny outside of my neighborhood during my teenage years. I remember pulling into a guard gated community and looking at the wrought iron gates, wondering why anyone would need a security guard and gates. In my naiveté I thought, “Surely these people must have a lot that needs protecting.” I remember how perfect everything looked. Everyone’s trees were trimmed precisely, the lawns were all in sync and followed the same green color pattern as the rest of the homes I passed by (which I later realized was synthetic grass). To be clear, there is nothing wrong with desiring to live in a safe community or in a place that provides opportunities to live a comfortable lifestyle; however, there can be a detachment from what is going on in the rest of the world. This detachment can lead to a forgetfulness of other people who may not lead the same lifestyle. The security our surroundings offer us shouldn’t remove the innate desire each of us has to offer compassion and love to the other person. This sense of security can convince us that we don’t need to get to know our neighbor or the community around us. Getting Outside of Yourself and Your Comfort Zone Our surroundings shouldn’t keep us from being at the service of other people. It is through our presence and the way we live our lives daily that shows people we are Christians. Ultimately it doesn’t take having to live in an impoverished area or low-income neighborhood to learn the needs of the people around you. Anyone can write a check, but the difference is when you are on the ground. When you walk with people right where they are. When you spend time getting to know someone you can identify the longings and needs of that person regardless of their socioeconomic status. Our security should prompt us to give more and go outside of ourselves because we have the means to live in comfort and our hearts are moved to help other people have the basic human needs that they need for that day. In imitation of our Master, we Christians are called to confront the poverty of our brothers and sisters, to touch it, to make it our own and to take practical steps to alleviate it. // Pope Francis Ultimately it’s the way your witness attracts others to Christ. How do you treat the mailman, the waste collector, the Amazon delivery driver, the street sweeper, the store clerk, or the janitor? Do you look up from your grocery cart or your walk and acknowledge the people around you? Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile. // Mother Teresa Ideas to Get Out of Your Comfort Zone Adopt a local or refugee family Give toys to a foster care facility Send care packages to prisoners Keep bus passes on hand to help someone with transportation or gift cards to McDonalds to alleviate someone’s hunger Make hygiene kits for the homeless Organize a clothing drive for homeless youth It doesn’t take much more than sheer desire to do something for others It doesn’t always have to be monetary, either. Consider all the towels in your linen closet, the extra toothbrushes under your sink from your last dental visit, the fuzzy socks that keep you warm at night with your matching pajamas. The work of forgetting ourselves is done little by little. The commodities of our lives should move us towards selflessness; although, we know the closer we are to convenience, the further we become detached to the needs of others. Baking something or cooking a meal instead of buying it can show your generosity as well. Let it cost you your time and think about who you are giving it to. Do it with love. Instead of purchasing that non-essential item at Target that wasn’t on your list to begin with, put it back on the shelf and deny yourself that thing and think of someone else who doesn’t have the ability to get off of the list. Instead of drying your clothes line dry them and offer it up for someone who doesn’t have the convenience of a dryer and has to walk to the laundromat every week. I distrust a charity that costs nothing and does not hurt because real poverty hurts and dispossession—what we can give up in order to help and enrich others by our own poverty... would not be valid without this penitential dimension. This is the exhortation to bear witness to the Gospel message to those who live in material, moral and spiritual poverty. // Pope Francis Growth in Holiness It is a balance that can be difficult to achieve but once we ask Jesus to show us the way to make ourselves comfortable in the discomfort of our surroundings, we can begin to grow in virtue and holiness. The good news of the Gospel equips us to see beyond our own needs and difficulties, allowing us to make the struggles of others our own—not in a way that causes us grief or desperation, but in a way that allows us to love and be beacons of hope to others.   [bctt tweet="Worldly Comfort as an Ideal: How to Combat It #BISblog //" via="no"]

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking about college. We'd love for you to join the conversation! Attending college was never a question for me; however, I needed to find a way to pay for it. My parents didn’t have the opportunity to attend a university or college, so it was something they always desired for me and my siblings. They believed that having a higher education meant more doors would be open for us. They knew that education was a path to success—not necessarily the kind that means earning thousands of dollars overnight, but the kind that enables you to stretch yourself in ways you never have before and transfer those skills wherever you go. Staying Within My Means I explored options outside my home state but it wasn’t feasible for me to leave. I didn’t generate enough income to pay for an apartment, bills, or furnishings, and I didn’t feel like I needed to leave home to have the university experience I hoped to have. Being realistic with myself was hard. I had several universities that I dreamed about attending. I could envision myself reading under a tree that was hundreds of years old and having access to a library that was used by the greatest minds in the country. Although my university didn’t have the academic reputation of USC, Notre Dame, or Boston College, it was what I could afford and I had to work with that. I knew if I put forth the effort I could make my experience just as good as what I envisioned at the universities I dreamed about. Don’t owe anyone after you’ve earned your diploma. The best advice my sister gave me was to graduate from undergrad without any debt, if it was possible. There is so much freedom in knowing when you invest in something as important as school that you aren’t tied to it financially anymore once you are done. I may have traded my dream university experience for one that was free from debt, but in hindsight, I don’t regret that decision at all. Do you really want it? Consider whether attending college is something you’re doing to meet your own goals or to avoid disappointing parents or family members who would like you to continue a legacy streak at a certain school. Ultimately, no one will be burning the midnight oil for you when it's time to put the work into a ten page research paper that includes a Powerpoint (and don’t forget the bibliography page)! It will be your hard work and effort alone that gets you through your classes successfully. Committing to something as financially burdensome as college because someone else is encouraging you to do so may lead to financial hardship and even resentment toward the vocation you are pursuing. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Save your money and live with your parents or family. For many, college is a rite of passage in which you leave home and explore the world on your own. However, don’t let outside pressure discourage you from living with your parents while you attend school. Living on your own is a huge financial commitment and only you can decide whether it is worth getting into debt. The bills for rent or on-campus living will be addressed only to you and not to those who may be judging you or are being critical because you chose to live at home. Where you choose to live is not an indicator of the kind of adult you are or a measure of success. Living with my parents saved me a substantial amount of money. I was able to save most of my money from nannying during high school and into college. I always filled out my FAFSA and was granted work study jobs on campus, which I thoroughly enjoyed because it meant that I would make a little money while catching up on my homework. It was not easy to see everything I saved go so quickly toward books and parking passes, but this is what I wanted and the expense was worth it. Don’t be afraid to wait until you can afford to attend. It’s okay to have the desire to go to school but to wait and save money until it is financially responsible to go. There is no formula that says you can only attend a college at a certain time in your life. Don’t let the cost of school deter you from pursuing a degree if that is what you desire. There are many different ways of pursuing higher education including scholarships. Although it may be time-consuming to apply for scholarships, they may mean the difference between being able to attend school or dismissing the opportunity to receive financial assistance. I didn’t want my college years to leave me drowning in debt. I maintained the same mentality with my masters program and even applied the same strategy when the time came to plan my wedding. Ask the Holy Spirit If you’re struggling with a particular decision, bring it to prayer and ask the Holy Spirit to help guide your discernment. Consider all your options and determine what is immediately feasible and what may take longer to plan. Financial discernment can be challenging, but with practice, it can be more natural.   This is just one of many stories about college life and discernment. We want to hear YOUR story. Please share in the comments below! And if you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: College // Financial Discernment #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

Each of the Fruits of the Luminous Mysteries—The Baptism in the Jordan, The Wedding at Cana, The Proclamation the Kingdom, The Transfiguration, and The Institution of the Eucharist—give us a moment in Jesus’ public ministry to reflect on and see how the work He performed 2,000 years ago is present to us today in our own circumstances. 

I didn’t exactly understand what we were doing at the chapel during Eucharistic Adoration as a pre-teen, but I knew it had to be something really special because it was so quiet and peaceful.

As a child, I thought holiness was only available to those who lived in convents or were cloistered in some remote mountain top experiencing absolute solitude praying for the rest of us poor sinners down below. That image I had about holiness changed as I grew in my faith. 

What a great opportunity these past couple of months have offered us to exhibit charity, forgiveness, love of neighbor, compassion, and dying of self.

During my third pregnancy I felt Mary’s fiat repeating in prayer. Her humble “yes†to everything that unfolded in her life in being the mother of Our Savior and King left me contemplating the areas of my life where I had delayed or stifled saying “yes†out of worry or doubt. 

When our son was about three months old, our parish priest asked if he could play the part of Baby Jesus for the Christmas midnight Mass. I said no on the spot without any hesitation! I was a brand new mom and envisioned our son wailing and crying the whole time. I just couldn’t bear the thought of ruining someone else’s Mass experience during midnight Mass! 

The word joyful in Latin is laetantam alleluia, which uniquely fits each of the mysteries that we walked through last week. This week we will be walking prayerfully through the Luminous mysteries. Known as the Mysteries of Light, the Luminous Mysteries call our attention to Jesus' desire for us to have the light of His life within us. 

Every December 12th, without fail, my parents would buy a dozen red roses to give to Our Lady of Guadalupe as a gift from our family. The night before, they would remind me that I would have to get up extra early because the celebrations at Mass began at 5:00 a.m. with Las Mañanitas. I love everything about mariachi music: the outfits, the passion from the person who is singing the heartfelt lyrics, and the bellowing trumpets. But for a middle schooler, 5:00 a.m. did not feel special at all, even if my parents let me go to school tardy. It was a big ask to get me out of my warm blankets that I was snuggled into, but for the sake of tradition and keeping my parents happy, I would get ready to go. It didn’t help that our parish wasn’t connected to a school, so I was the only kid my age in attendance, which made me feel like our family was probably a little too Catholic. A Piece of Home at Church My parents would take our household image of Our Lady of Guadalupe to Church to be blessed, along with the red roses. Once I was at Mass, I couldn’t help but burst into song because the ballads sung to Our Lady of Guadalupe by the mariachi, accompanied by the congregation, were so irresistible it could turn any grumpy adolescent into a pleasant one. The lyrics sung to Our Lady of Guadalupe in Spanish made me forget the early wake up call as I happily sang in the language I never had the opportunity to speak at school or outside of our home. This feast day felt like home to me. Little girls would dress in traditional Mexican outfits with their hair braided with ribbon interlaced on both sides. I loved looking around my parish and seeing the response of the community embracing such a special day for the Hispanic Community. It wasn’t just the tamales that they could enjoy afterwards either; it was a genuine desire to experience honoring Mary together in this way. Mariachi Music in Honor of Our Lady The church only played Mariachi music one time per year during Mass on this feast day. I felt so proud of my cultural heritage and beamed with joy as parishioners sang the songs in their best Spanish. Even the priest, whose first language wasn’t Spanish, would participate in the singing, too! I felt seen by our parish community as they welcomed the deep roots of our Mexican Catholic identity. Here under one roof in front of Jesus, Our Lady of Guadalupe, and Saint Juan Diego, we all were actively participating in the universality of the Church. I wished every day could be just like this, celebrating the love for our Mother regardless of ethnicity or nationality or immigration status. Just children and heirs to the Kingdom of God receiving a tiny taste of Heaven with Mass, music, and lifting up our prayers. In hindsight I wish I had had the courage to invite my peers to share about my Mass experience. Instead I just got a tardy pass and went straight to class, keeping close to myself the special morning I had just experienced. Passing on the Tradition to My Students When I taught Confirmation for the first time, I purchased roses for my students to offer Our Lady of Guadalupe. I gave them a little background story and then invited them to offer a special intention to her when they placed their rose inside of the vase. I remember feeling so proud in that moment as I prayed that they could feel the love from Our Blessed Mother under a different title. Sometimes the simple invitation helps people grow in the Faith. We can be living the Faith for a long time but can miss out on opportunities to participate because we are waiting to be invited. This Advent season, visit a local parish that may be celebrating the feast day of Our Lady of Guadalupe and don’t hesitate to participate. Our Lady of Guadalupe is the Queen of Mexico and Mother of the Americas and a reminder that her love transcends skin tone, class, or race. She truly is a mother to us all. Participate in Our Lady of Guadalupe’s Feast Day For people in Mexico, this special day is seen as a way for Our Lady of Guadalupe to intercede for us and has been a means of obtaining answered prayers. They travel to the Basilica on their knees as they remember everything she has done for them. Even if you don’t belong to a parish that celebrates Our Lady of Guadalupe’s feast day replete with Mariachis, take some time to listen to some Mariachi music in your house. If you’re especially lucky, you may have some friends who will offer you some homemade tamales. You can also find a Mexican market and celebrate with tamales, pan dulce (Mexican sweet bread), atole (drink made with finely ground corn) or champurrado (thick rich Mexican hot chocolate made with corn). Passing Down Our Lady’s Feast Day Now that I have children, I dress them up in traditional Mexican outfits and we all go to Mass together. They proudly walk down the aisle and offer their roses to Mary, just like I had done as a child. My son, Diego, is especially proud of his namesake on this feast day, as he loves to hear the story of Saint Juan Diego and Our Lady. It’s like a mini-pilgrimage from the crack of dawn to the moment you step in the church. I think back to that grumpy middle schooler and am so grateful that my parents persisted in taking me to Mass on Our Lady’s feast day and I am proud that I now get to share the same tradition with my own children. Prayers to Our Lady of Guadalupe John Paul II's Prayer to Our Lady of Guadalupe Covid-19: A prayer to Our Lady of Guadalupe in times of trial Listen. Put it into your heart, my smallest child, that the thing that frightened you, the thing that afflicted you is nothing: Do not let it disturb you… Am I not here, I who am your mother? Are you not under my shadow and protection? Am I not the source of your joy? Are you not in the hollow of my mantle, In the crossing of my arms? Do you need something more? -Our Lady of Guadalupe, 1531 Listen to Mariachi Music An example of songs that are sung for Our Lady of Guadalupe English and Spanish Lyrics to song La Guadalupana Watch the Movie Guadalupe: The Miracle and the Message Recipes Champurrado (thick Mexican hot chocolate) Atole (hot drink made with masa: ground corn)   [bctt tweet="The Feast of Our Lady of Guadalupe // A Childhood Tradition #BISblog //" via="no"] WANT TO DEEPEN YOUR PRAYER? Get ready to be radically changed by the Lord and His presence. Be drawn into intimacy with the Lord by way of weekly videos, a community within the Blessed is She app, and invitations into reading scripture in a whole new way. BEGIN THE WELL: ABIDE

Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking more about grief. We'd love for you to join the conversation! “Even when death is expected, it’s always unexpected.” I remember our priest saying this as I drove him to our house to give my dad his last rites. Dad was diagnosed with stage IV pancreatic cancer in April of 2005. It shocked us all. We had never lived in the world of cancer, much less terminal cancer. The doctor gave my Dad a six month lifespan after his diagnosis. God gave us a whole year and six months. Facing the Hard Realities I was 19 years old and in my third year of college when Dad was diagnosed. I remember thinking this was the last of everything. He won’t get to see me graduate, he won’t walk me down the aisle on my wedding day, or be a grandfather to my children if I ever have kids. I remember sobbing in the car while driving to school as each one of those realities hit me. I could hardly see through the flood of tears as I tried to calm myself before my next class began, but the pain of not having Dad present for major milestones in my life was something I couldn’t fathom. It penetrated the deepest parts of my heart and caused me a physical heartache I had never experienced before. A Fatherless Daughter My dad was a working man. For him, the death sentence wasn’t that he had terminal cancer, but that he couldn’t provide for our family anymore. Being Latino and culturally the head of the household, this was a greater cross for my Dad than the suffering he endured during his illness. Dad gave his last breath on October 22, 2006. Suddenly, I found myself defenseless, disarmed, and completely exposed to the world because I had no Dad. We were anticipating this day would come, but nothing could have prepared my family or me for it. I felt so utterly broken. At that moment, everything stood still. I stepped outside the hospice as I mourned for my Dad and just wanted to see something other than the enclosed walls where my father took his last breath. There wasn’t really anything awaiting me outside other than cars driving by—a reminder that other people were still living their lives even though mine felt like it had just come crumbling down. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Birthdays, Family Traditions, and Holidays None of the holidays cut deep into my aching heart like Father’s Day. Thanksgiving reminded us to be grateful for everything Dad had done for us, and we would remember how he would plate his meal (everything touching everything and even better if the cranberry sauce was touching the mashed potatoes and gravy because he was just going to use a roll to eat it in one big bite). Christmas brought me closer to the Holy Family and the Infant Jesus. Easter filled me with the hope of Jesus’ Resurrection. Fast-forward to summer, and June became a gloomy month for me. It was Dad’s birthday followed by Father’s Day. We would gather as a family and celebrate my Dad’s earthly birthday. There was always a feeling of longing when we were gathered around the table together, but in our togetherness we could feel his presence. It was not quite the same with Father’s Day. Father’s Day just became another reminder that my Dad wasn’t physically here. The greeting card section at the front of the store was another reminder that I didn’t have a Dad to whom to give a card. Dad didn’t do any of the greeting cards things like fish or golf, and I wasn’t of age to enjoy a beer with him yet, so all of those cards were out the window! Over time, I learned that my issue with Father’s Day wasn’t about a card; it was that I was left to figure out how to describe my Dad without Hallmark’s help. Let Others Console You During that first year of my Dad’s passing, I felt consolation in simple ways. For example, a friend baking banana bread and dropping it off, or another friend sending a song to me to remind me that she was thinking about me. Sometimes it was just a friend calling to see how I was doing and just letting me cry because I couldn’t get any words out. Sometimes you just need someone to hold you in your grief, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes. As I have learned, I didn’t need to lighten the load for someone else’s benefit or pretend that I was okay. Friends and family members really want to be present to your grief out of love for you and the person who has passed away, not out of superficial obligation. At times, my own pride got in the way of letting people take care of me or do something nice for me because I didn’t want people feeling sorry for me. At the time of my Father’s death, I felt like that was a sign of weakness and regrettably turned away support that could have been Jesus consoling me through another person. Ways to Remember Your Loved One Celebrate their Birthday, have a Mass said for the repose of their soul on their birthday and on the anniversary of their passing, clean their tombstone, pray for them, do things they would’ve loved to do. Listen to music they like, travel to the places they liked to visit, or donate to a certain charity in their honor. Start a new tradition and visit the cemetery and bring flowers on the anniversary of your loved one’s passing in gratitude for the life God gave them. The loss of a loved one isn’t the end of the love you have for them; it’s the beginning of learning new ways to love them even when they aren’t physically here. Pray My Dad’s faith in Jesus became my strength. Whenever I would catch myself letting my mind wander into dark places, I remembered my Dad still believed; he still kept going because he had faith. That was his compass even when his body was shutting down. I would spend time in Adoration and, even when the words escaped and I would burst into tears, I would find consolation in just letting Jesus be present to my pain. I desired for Jesus to heal my broken heart, but I didn’t know how to ask. Healing takes work and intention. Whenever I would feel depleted from my grief, I would turn to Our Blessed Mother for strength, particularly Our Lady of Sorrows. She knew the painful suffering of grief and yet still loved humankind. It didn’t happen overnight, but slowly I accepted this new life without my Dad around. I accepted Jesus’ will for me and our family and I continue to recommit to accepting His plan each and everyday. This post only scratches the surface of grief, but hopefully gives you some comfort from the grief that you have experienced. You aren’t alone in your sorrows and, when grief overcomes you, remember that it takes time to heal and there is no expiration date that says when your mourning should be over. Give it over to Jesus and invite Him into your pain and allow Him to heal you.   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Grief // Death is Always Unexpected #BISblog #blessedchats" via="no"]

San Martin De Porres, also known as "the Saint of the Broom", is no stranger to rejection, abandonment, racism, and prejudice. He was born on December 9th, 1579 in Lima, Peru. Martin de Porres Upbringing His father was a Spanish nobleman and his mother was a freed slave from Panama. During that time period, there was not wide acceptance of diversity or mixed marriages. His father didn’t accept him as his son until he was about eight years old. In his baptismal record, Martin is described as “son of an unknown father.” His father did pay for his son to attend school for a year but eventually moved away and left Martin living in poverty with his mother and sister. When he was 12 years old, his mother apprenticed him to a barber-surgeon. Martin learned how to cut hair and also how to draw blood. During this time, he became a member of the Third Order of the Dominicans. He did manual work to earn his room and board. Rejected in Religious Life A law preventing people of mixed race from joining religious orders kept him from entering the Dominican Order as a religious brother until 1603. Before he made his vows, he worked in the infirmary caring for the sick. He earned his nickname, “Saint of the broom” for completing all of his menial tasks with hard work and dedication. He ministered to African slaves brought to Lima and founded an orphanage and hospital for the poor. He was aided by Saint Rose of Lima, who respected his penances and labors. He also planted fruit orchards for the poor, who were allowed to take one day’s supply. Deep Devotion to Our Lord Depictions of the Saint often include cats, dogs, and even rats too. One account of St. Martin of Porres says the monastery was tired of their rodent problems and decided to set traps. The Saint was so distressed that he spoke to the mice and cut a deal with them that if they would leave the monastery, he would feed them at the back door of the kitchen. From that day forward, no mouse was seen in the monastery. He referred to himself as a “poor slave” and happily embraced his circumstances, using it as a way to serve the poor and care for the sick. His compassion was limitless as he served the poor, destitute, outcast, marginalized, and animals too! Saint Martin lived in self-imposed austerity, never ate meat, fasted continuously, and spent much time in prayer and meditation with a great devotion to the Holy Eucharist. He excused the faults of others. He forgave the bitterest injuries, convinced that he deserved much severer punishments on account of his own sins. He tried with all his might to redeem the guilty; lovingly he comforted the sick; he provided food, clothing and medicine for the poor; he helped, as best he could, farm laborers and Negroes, as well as mulattoes, who were looked upon at that time as akin to slaves: thus he deserved to be called by the name the people gave him: ‘Martin of Charity.' (source) The First Black Saint of the Americas San Martin of Porres became the first Black Saint of the Americas. He was beatified on October 29th, 1837 and canonized on May 6, 1962 by Pope Saint John XXIII. San Martin of Porres is buried at the Basilica and convent of Santo Domingo, Peru alongside his dear friend Saint Rose of Lima. Here in the U.S. there is a National shrine dedicated in his honor. If Martin were with us now, undoubtedly he would avail himself to victims of Covid-19. Like many healthcare workers today, he would work tirelessly to relieve the distress of their symptoms. He would provide particular comfort to the elderly who are dying. Through his care they would face death knowing the strength of the glorified Christ. (source) Prayers to Saint Martin of Porres Lord Jesus Christ, you called Saint Martin de Porres as a prophetic witness to be a source of racial and physical healing. During this time of racial tension and global pandemic,may his prayers help to bring about the healing you and your children so earnestly desire.We ask this in your name. Amen. (source) Novena to Saint Martin of Porres Litany of Saint Martin of Porres Live Like Martin Find a dominican ministry near you to see how you can get involved. Take some time to look at racism and other issues regarding the dignity of the human person. Watch and Listen to the We are the Church series from Blessed is She to become more informed on the issues surrounding the sin of racism and how just a simple conversation with friends and family members can be a source of enlightenment and healing. Go to your local parish gift shop or shop online for a statue of Saint Martin of Porres and invite this inspiring Saint as well as other Saints of color into your home. Welcome them into your domestic Church. God has blessed us with the beauty of the Universal Church but it is up to us to incorporate it into our daily lives. Saint Martin de Porres, pray for us!   [bctt tweet="Saint Martin de Porres // Saint of the Broom #BISblog //" via="no"]

I have vivid memories of our family gathering at my Abuela’s house to dress the Infant Jesus (Santo Niño). Everyone would gather around the Christmas tree to pray, sing hymns, and witness the chosen “Godparents” of that year dress the little babe of Bethlehem. This is a tradition Mexican households participate in, especially during the Christmas season. Devotion to the Infant Jesus is centuries old. In Spain, He is known as Santo Niño de Atocha, (click here for a little more background). In the Philippines, He is known as Santo Niño de Cebu. Although each culture has its own rich traditions and celebrations, at the heart of the Devotion is the opportunity to increase our relationship with the Father with humbled hearts. Devotion to the Infant Jesus is widespread, but the most promulgated in Western Culture is the Devotion to the Infant Jesus of Prague. History and Origin of Devotion to the Infant Jesus Devotion to the Infant Jesus of Prague is devotion to the Child Jesus. It is veneration of the Son of God, who in the form of an infant chose a stable for a palace, manger for a cradle, and shepherds for worshippers. Our Savior grants special graces to all who venerate His sacred Infancy. -Devotion to the Infant Jesus of Prague According to sources, the statue of the Infant Jesus of Prague originates in Spain. It was probably made in Spain sometime in the second half of the 16th century or earlier. Legend says that the Infant Jesus miraculously appeared to the monk who molded the statue based on his vision. A different legend tells us that the statue was owned by Saint Teresa of Jesus who greatly venerated Jesus' childhood and spread the veneration of the Infant Jesus throughout Spain. She is said to have given the statue to a friend whose daughter was getting married in Prague. The statue of the Infant Jesus was brought to Prague by the Spanish Duchess Marie Manriquez de Lcara, who married Vrastislav of Pernstejn in 1556. She gave the statue to her daughter Polyxena of Lobkovic as a wedding gift. She greatly venerated the statue and received consolation and help from it many times. Polyxena of Lobkowicz donated the statue as a precious gift to the monastery of Discalced Carmelites at the Church of Our Lady of Victory. She presented her beloved statue to the religious with these prophetic words: “I hereby give you what I prize most highly in this world. As long as you venerate this image you will not be in want” (Devotion to the Infant Jesus of Prague). Blessings poured forth in the community, but once the devotion became relaxed, the abundant blessings went away. Restoration Father Cyrillus a Matre Dei was very devoted to The Infant Jesus because of the consolation he had received from Him. Suddenly the devotion ceased altogether because the Carmelites fled the monastery as Prague was seized from the Saxons. The Infant Jesus was damaged and discarded as junk. When the Carmelites were able to return to Prague, Father Cyrillus remembered the powerful intercession of The Infant Jesus and found the statue. With great sorrow he discovered that both its arms had been broken off. During prayer he heard the Infant Jesus say: “Have mercy on me and I will have mercy on you. Give me my arms and I will give you my peace. I will bless you as much as you will venerate me!” It is in this repair of the statue that the real story takes place. Father Cyrillus had to persevere in finding a way to acquire the funds for it to be restored. When he had the funds, his superior suggested purchasing a new statue all together. For a more in depth history and timeline of events visit The History and Veneration of the Prague Infant Jesus. Today, the statue is enshrined on a side altar in the church of Our Lady of Victory in Prague, the capital city of the Czech Republic. Description of the Statue The statue is made of wax and is about nineteen inches high. The Infant Jesus is clothed in a royal mantle, and has a beautiful jeweled crown on His head. The Infant Jesus’ right hand is raised in blessing; His left hand holds a globe signifying sovereignty. This website offers a great description about the appearance of the statue. How the Infant Jesus is Dressed The Infant Jesus, like the priests at the altar, is dressed in robes in accordance to the color of the liturgical season. The robes change accordingly for special feast days as well. Follow this interactive link to see the robe changes on The Infant Jesus. The Carmelite Sisters of the Child Jesus are in charge of dressing the Infant Jesus. The Sisters help the Discalced Carmelite Brothers to look after the pilgrimage site of the Infant Jesus. Heart of the Devotion The heart of this devotion is a humbled heart. A heart with confidence such as that of a child. It's knowing that whatever we ask of Jesus, as long as it benefits us, He will grant to us. Just like when our own children come to us we do what they ask of us out of love. This littleness in prayer helps us grow in our spiritual lives and helps us to see just how much we depend on having a steady relationship with the Lord. The Infant of Prague is pictured wearing a crown, with a globe in one small hand, and this is not without meaning. “The government is on His shoulder,” we sing in the Introit of the third Mass for Christmas day. The Child of Bethlehem was born with a mission of salvation. Being a flower of Christ demands courage, decisive action, maturity., But coupled with these must always be humility candor, confidence - those virtues of childhood. It is these virtues that Jesus is recommending. A child accepts himself for what he is. Undismayed by falls and setbacks, he gets up again and begins over. -Devotion to the Infant Jesus of Prague Devotions and Prayers to The Infant Jesus Powerful Novena in Urgent Need (In cases of great urgency, a novena of hours may be made instead of days. The prayers should, if possible, be repeated at the same time every hour for nine consecutive hours). O Jesus, who said, “ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find, knock and it shall be opened to you,” through the intercession of Mary, Your Most holy Mother, I knock, I seek, I ask that my prayer be granted. (Mention your request) O Jesus, who said, “All that you ask of the Father in My Name He will grant you,” through the intercession of Mary, Your most holy Mother, I humbly and urgently ask Your Father in Your name that my prayer be granted. (Mention your request) O Jesus, who said, “Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my word shall not pass,” through the intercession of Mary, Your most holy Mother, I feel confident that my prayer will be granted. (Mention your request) Prayer of Thanksgiving for Graces Received from the Infant Jesus I prostrate myself before Your most holy image, O most gracious Infant Jesus, to offer You my most fervent thanks for the blessings You have bestowed on me. I shall incessantly praise Your ineffable mercy and confess that You alone are my God, my helper, and my protector. Henceforth my entire confidence shall be placed in You! Everywhere I will proclaim aloud Your mercy and generosity, so that Your great love and the great deeds which you perform through this miraculous image may be acknowledged by all. May devotion to Your holy infancy increase more and more in the hearts of all Christians, and may all who experience your assistance persevere with me in showing unceasing gratitude to Your most holy infancy, to which be praise and glory forever. Amen. The above prayer is from the Devotion To The Infant Jesus of Prague published by TAN books. More Resources For other online prayers, devotions, and pilgrimage sites, check out the following: Prayers to The Infant Jesus from the church of Our Lady of Victory. Novena to The Infant Jesus from the National Shrine of the Infant Jesus of Prague. Pray More Novenas also has a novena to The Infant Jesus. The United States also has a National Shrine of The Infant Jesus in Prague, Oklahoma that is worthy of putting on the list of churches to visit. Mother Angelica, the foundress of EWTN, received inspiration from the Divino Niño to build a chapel in His Name (but that’s another story!). Do you have a devotion to the Infant Jesus? If so, what title? How has the littleness of heart in this devotion increased your trust in the Lord?   [bctt tweet="Devotion to the Infant Jesus #BISblog //" via="no"]

There are many meaningful ways to add to our prayer time that can guide our thoughts and serve as tools to enhance the ways we pray and grow in the Faith. The best part of these media is that you don’t have to be a theologian to plug into any of them. These resources can be accessed at any time when you feel you want to add something unique to your prayer routine. Different Media for Enhancing Your Prayer While these mediums can never replace intimate prayer time with the Lord, they can equip us to have the proper prayerful dispositions, whether it's through visual or audio sources. Audiobooks A few weeks ago, a friend sent me an audiobook. I’ve never experienced listening to a book before as an adult! I thought they for people who didn’t like to hold a physical book or who were too busy to sit and read. I was happily proven wrong! Audiobooks have allowed me to really listen attentively. My attention is captured even more than if I was just reading on my own. Listening to audiobooks is a great way to discover stories about the lives of the Saints or books from your favorite Catholic author without needing a bookmark. The audiobook does it for you! You can purchase audiobook files on Amazon, download them from your library’s app, or listen on Audible. Radio Relevant Radio offers a plethora of regularly programmed Rosaries, chaplets, novenas, and various other shows that increase knowledge and discussions of the Faith. SiriusXM also has a Catholic Channel as well as EWTN radio. Whenever I am in a music funk and catch myself skipping song after song, I know it's time to listen to something that will grab my attention and give me something to ponder. In the past, I found that whenever I turn on Relevant Radio I end up hearing exactly what I needed for that particular moment of the day. It replaces the annoyance of flipping through my iTunes playlist with fruitful prayer time that I hadn’t intentionally planned. Podcasts Another way to turn that car ride to the grocery store into a prayerful moment is by listening to a podcast. It may not be typical to be inspired in prayer by listening to familiar voices. But hearing dialogue about certain topics of the Faith can plant seeds in our minds that resonate with us long after the podcast is over. It's like our ears capture the words and conversations that we need to replay in our minds at a later time so we can share what we learned with friends and family. With so much rich content from so many voices, you can feel like you are having coffee with the hostesses, whether it’s the lovely ladies from the Abiding Together podcast or are very own podcast here at Blessed is She. Find a podcast that suits your taste or season in life and feel free to push play or pause according to your daily routine. You will find yourself being a part of a conversation that you needed to hear. (Pst! Find other podcasts for Catholic women here.) WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Music Music can transport us elsewhere as the songs lift our hearts and praise to God. The music becomes a balm for our soul and our ears. The lyrics of the song guide our thoughts and turn our minds to Jesus, quickly becoming a form of prayer. Check out this Spotify playlist or choose from your own favorite praise and worship albums. Chant If you are in a dry season and the worship songs you have listened to in the past aren’t working out or you want to change things up a bit, try listening to Anthology: Chants and Polyphony from St. Michael’s Abbey. It will bolster your prayer experience as the chant quiets your mind and brings you peace. Chaplets and Novenas Chaplet This visual masterpiece by the Franciscan Friars of the Renewal will change the way you pray the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Suddenly you are in New York City, India, and Honduras. You can visually see God’s mercy being extended to people from all around the world. The words with the visuals make the chaplet come to life. Novenas These series of videos unlock the words and allow us to hear, speak, and listen more clearly to what it is that we are saying as we respond, “Jesus I surrender to you, take care of everything.” Adoration Livestream Adoration is available 24/7. Take a mini trip to a new church or even a Cathedral in a different country that is offering Adoration and fix your eyes on Jesus and spend time with Him. Although this isn’t an extensive list of all of the mediums that are offered, it's a road map that can be used at any time to add to your prayer routine. What media aid in your prayer? Share your favorites below so our community can check them out!   [bctt tweet="How Different Media Can Elevate Our Prayer #BISblog //" via="no"]

I thought I lived my life with an intentional awareness of balance in our home life—not too many extracurricular activities for the kids and not too many commitments outside of the home for my husband and me. Sure, there were some days that I wished baseball practice was cancelled or would call upon my mother-in-law to take our daughter to musical theatre class. But I thought it was because I was just sleep-deprived and needed a little break from the routine, not because we had a lot going on. I would tell myself, “one extracurricular for each kid is doable.” But that didn't include the commitments my husband or I had or the ones we shared. A New Version of Home Life As our routines came to a screeching halt, we were thrust into a new(er) version of home life. At first, I felt the void for my children not being able to physically go to school. And then, little by little, their extracurricular activities fell away. I felt slightly relieved that I didn’t have to take the kids anywhere. During the week, days always felt like a mad dash to get the homework done, initial that we had completed the assigned reading, sign the homework to confirm that we did it, make dinner, eat dinner, start the bedtime routine...and don’t forget it's also spirit week! I really felt like that pace was taking away from the enjoyment of the time I spent with my family. Suddenly, I didn’t have to be a homework cop or try to plan ahead and think about what everyone’s needs outside of the home were. I could just focus on my family. The Most We've Lived at Home For many of us, this is as much as we have ever lived at home. We're eating at home, enjoying entertainment at home (like movies, board games, and cooking shows), and enjoying a live stream from the Cincinnati Zoo (I have learned so much about hippos with the kids). Our homes have become the front and center of everything we do. Grocery and retail shopping are now done from the couch. All outside distractions have been eliminated. Maybe we needed this time to return to each other, to return to the people for whom we do all these things. Keeping Family as a Priority Our families are at the center of the vocation given to us by God. We attempt to find balance when we feel our lives becoming too busy. We plan a vacation because we think it is the antidote that will rejuvenate us to get back into the reality of the routine. The theme parks, European vacations, summer beach trips, camping and all other outside experiences are good in and of themselves. But sometimes simply making those plans takes us away from each other. With many places in a state of pause right now, we are reminded that we aren’t required to go somewhere to make memories as a family. The world isn’t where we find time to be together. It is home. A Firm Foundation Those wonderful trips may pass us by, but the foundation of family life doesn’t. Children may have an opportunity to catch a glimpse of authentic marriage as spouses adjust to working from home and new dynamics. These circumstances create opportunities for healthy conflict resolution, which is a normal part of family life. Siblings may express opinions about one another and attempt to parent each other. As frustrating as those sibling squabbles or parental disagreements may be, they strengthen the family unit. While everything remains on pause, we have been presented with an opportunity for the whole family to reconnect in new and meaningful ways. We may not know what lies ahead, but everything we do within our homes will help us rediscover what we value, who we love, and how we love them. This helps us recommit ourselves to each other once reentry into the outside world occurs. Enjoying One Another Lately, our family has been trimming our rose bushes, making blueberry pancakes on Sundays, doing laundry together, and immersing ourselves in the very ordinary things of what it takes to run a household. For the first time in a long time, it's not just resting on my shoulders as a wife and mother. My husband can come downstairs from working from home and take out the trash or pop in to see how homeschooling is going. The kids can share the artwork they are so proud of in the middle of the day with their Dad, rather than waiting until he gets home from work. The time that I am not spending in the car is now used playing in our yard, watching Brother Francis on Formed, or praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet as a family. Suddenly, the world stopped. But it has allowed us to be home and to know what home is and that family is always at the center of everything we do. How has this time reframed your family life?   [bctt tweet="How to Keep Family as a Priority #BISblog //" via="no"]