Welcome to our Blessed Chats series! Each month, we will dedicate an entire week of blog posts to a topic that affects many of us. These conversations often come up in our Facebook groups and in our real life friendships. We want to share a variety of perspectives on the topic at hand, so we've asked women to share their stories and how the teachings of the Church have guided and comforted them. In this series, we're talking talking more about fertility. We'd love for you to join the conversation! Hot tears sting my eyes as I post the ad on Craigslist for our long-unused crib. Very few stores will resell them so I resort to giving it away online and it feels like a metaphor: “One crib full of hoped-for babies, collecting dust in our basement: Free to a good home.” Even as I recycle expired car seats or donate a high chair, people seem giddy to congratulate me on being "all done." And I get it; it’s a long/fast sleep-deprived season. But what they can’t know is that this was not what I wanted—this was not my plan. Plans My husband and I have been working with engaged couples for several years now as they prepare for marriage. This ministry has introduced us to some wonderful people. Each year I have been struck by the familiar sense of fear and awe that come up in conversations around babies. This is to be expected, given the tremendous life changes assumed herein, combined with current culture and total resistance to veering off "the plan." This highly-regarded and tightly-gripped goal always leads us to really important conversations. In light of which, and with a healthy dose of hindsight, I am beginning to understand that through the years my own understanding of the gift of fertility has been evolving. The Roads of Being Open to Life Here are some nuggets I wish I could whisper in the ear of my newly-married self, starting with: Being open to life is being open to a myriad of journeys—even in one lifetime. [bctt tweet="Being open to life is being open to a myriad of journeys—even in one lifetime. #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"] A Given To be really honest, when we got married over a decade ago, I had a pretty strong sense that fertility was a given—not a right, of course—but a given. As such, it was something to be wielded with respect and a bit of fear. Knowing that we held the power to create life with our union was both exciting and intimidating. We did marriage prep, we learned NFP, and I worked as a doula. We were as prepared as anybody is for the possibility of life, and our ability to work with our charts to time the arrival of children as we wished. And it was a good thing, too, because a little over a year after we were married, we found that we were expecting. Our second child came a couple of years later, and we patted ourselves on the back for figuring out our charting like we had. With gratitude and good notes, we had seemingly figured out the cosmic gum-ball machine to work with God to build our family. I say this jokingly, but even in our joy, I see now that we lacked a certain dumbfounded-ness at the absolute privilege of co-creating new souls. Three years later, we were pregnant again with a baby due on Thanksgiving. We had always imagined four kiddos and felt like our hopes might be realized to give our children more siblings than we had had. Our girls were so excited. Professionals We went into our nine-week ultrasound like the seasoned pros we were. I was relieved to be going because I had been feeling so good, I was a little suspicious: “I don’t even feel pregnant,” I joked. When our appointment began, the midwife took an especially long time with the doppler and I began to worry. Finally, she turned the screen to us and confirmed that she had not found a heartbeat and that maybe we had miscalculated the date of conception. “Come back in a week and we’ll have another listen,” she said. I miscarried our baby before we returned. Truthfully, I had never entered the place in my mind that a positive pregnancy test did not guarantee a baby. I guess I had lived in a privileged place where I hadn’t encountered that reality, or at least no one had shared much about it. So when we got there, I was absolutely unprepared. “You’ll have another,” people said. “At least it was early.” “You’re young,” people tried to comfort us, but their well-intended words fell short. We had lost a child, and we felt it. A Lingering Loss Miscarriage is a quiet, lingering loss that is garnering a bit more attention than it has in the past. But very often it feels like hard and hallowed ground to walk, and, unfortunately, well-intended friends and family feel themselves ill-equipped to do so. Often, this sort of child loss is met with silence rather than support. If you find yourself in this place, I would highly recommend Laura and Franco Fanucci’s book: Grieving Together: A Couple’s Journey Through Miscarriage. It has been years and we have still not welcomed that hoped for "rainbow baby." It isn’t clear why. All of our fertility tests and blood draws have revealed nothing out of place. And maybe we don’t need answers. But having them feels like the ammunition I could use to fight off this frustrating reminder that I am limited and human; and that we are not the only ones responsible for shaping our family size. There is certainly some humility to be found here. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Seasons of Fertility So we have entered a new season, one I had never heard of and certainly one I never expected to find myself in (ever), let alone in my mid-thirties. We are in the season of grieving lost fertility. It has been a bit of a lonely road because I haven’t found many other travelers here—at least not many who share about it. Not that they aren’t walking this road, too, but it’s a rare and raw conversation. To hear “No” in response to fervent prayers is its own point of frustration. To pass on baby gear I would have chosen to employ is not for the faint of heart. No way around that. Of course I wonder what happened, what we might have done differently. We talk a lot about God’s will and can’t argue with the arrival of each month’s cycle. We have prayed about options like adoption and foster care and nothing has quite felt l realistic to us. We hear our children’s requests for siblings and I wonder what might be in store beyond this boisterous family we had imagined for ourselves. How might family be a concept bigger than we had previously imagined? I do not fully understand the reasons we find ourselves in this place, but here we are. And, I believe God to be operating on a far larger scale than my own. I am learning to trust that there is an invitation to something new alongside my detoured plans. At this point, I am on the search for it and I am hopeful because of God’s unfaltering ability to let nothing be wasted—even the fragments of my best-laid plans. [bctt tweet="I am learning to trust that there is an invitation to something new alongside my detoured plans. I am on the search for it, for God wastes nothing—even the fragments of my best-laid plans. #blessedchats //" via="no"] When they had had their fill, he said to his disciples, “Gather the fragments left over, so that nothing will be wasted.” –John 6:12   If you want more help with finding your own story, our popular Write + Pray course offers 9 topics, nearly an hour of guided video, and almost 50 Scripture verses and questions for you featuring Managing Editor Nell O'Leary. Find your story today.   [bctt tweet="Blessed Chats: Fertility // Seasons of Fertility #BISblog #blessedchats //" via="no"]

For from their greatness and beauty of created things, their original author, by analogy can be seen. -Wisdom 13: 5 Have you ever listened to little kids boast about their abilities? Better yet, have you been privy to an argument related to talents, birthday gifts, older siblings? “I just learned how to ride my bike without training wheels.” “Oh, yeah? I already ride a bike without training wheels.” “I bet you didn’t ride a bike without training wheels when you were five.” “Nope, I learned to ride a bike without training wheels when I was three….” Perhaps if you have siblings/nieces/nephews/children, this fierce attempt to prove one’s self sounds familiar? On different occasions I have listened to children in these roles, boasting and betting, and found myself marveling at the self-assurance they possess. In my own home I have been left to mull over how to simultaneously foster and temper this level of unbridled confidence. Sometimes I’d like to bottle it up and save some for later, other times I am in awe over the absolute certainty of their unique giftedness. Body Image: Both/And Confidence is good after all, just as humility is. The combination of the two is a truly healthy pair. As the mother of girls, I am keenly aware of the images, role models, movies, books, music, and language used in our house about bodies; and the reality that my relationship with my own body speaks volumes to my children about how to accept and nurture their bodies. Sometimes I am surprised by how unpracticed I am at naming this out loud; how simple and intentional this practice requires me to be. Jesus Took on Flesh Whether for the sake of our children or our sisters, how have I/how can I take opportunities to thank God for creating my body in all of its uniquenesses? How do I speak about myself or the figures of others? Do my words build up or tear down? The God of the universe took on flesh. If anyone understands the limitations and beauty of being bodied persons, it is the Lord. Core to our values as Catholics is the unwavering belief in each person’s inherent dignity—their imago dei. This means that not only are we made in the image and likeness of God, but that God designed each of us on purpose and with great artistry. Every gift, mole, quirk, scar, dimple, wrinkle, stretch mark, freckle, tic, curl, laugh; every inch of you was willed or allowed by the God of the universe at this particular time in history. We can be humble enough to accept this body as limited, and we can be confident that God is specifically invested in, delighted by, and enamored with the intricacy of each one of us. [bctt tweet="God designed each of us on purpose and with great artistry. #BISblog //" via="no"] WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY The Disconnect Perhaps your experience is similar to mine, in that at some point you realized subtly or overtly that either: Compared to _________, you have nothing to brag about. Self-confidence makes you look really uppity and self-absorbed, or just silly. If only _________, you would have reason to be confident. This is the work of consumerism (also the devil) at its finest. This is what drives the cosmetic industry, the diet industry, the clothing industry, the interior design industry; heck, even the deluxe grocery industry. And while each of these can be used to achieve good things, we have been sold a bill of goods that we are insufficient as we are—as we were lovingly created. I have been a fabulous student of these "truths." I didn’t even put up a fight. Humility? Check. Uppity and self-absorbed? Not good. So I followed along for a long time like a lemming, hoping my imitations of "ideal" were good enough. Looking back, I want to shout at my younger self, to write it on the ceiling of my childhood bedroom, the inside of my locker, and journals, on mirrors: “You can be aware of your imperfections and confident in whom God made you to be, at the same time!” But I didn’t know that then, and no one told me I had that option. Let me tell you the words I wish I would have heard: You have that option. Reasons to Praise Him I wonder from time to time what it is like for the Creator of the universe to be praised for the grandeur, perfection and variety of all created things, to hear the crowning glory of creation (humanity) bemoan the splendor they were seemingly shorted. We’re probably all guilty of it on some level, but it is worth considering. How can we claim both as "truth"? We catch glimpses, from time to time, of that blessed reality where our dignity is realized, and it is a sight to behold. We recognize when those we love are in their element, their happy place. On occasion, we may even catch it in ourselves (if we allow it). Thomas Merton, a convert and Trappist Monk at Gethsemane Abbey in Kentucky, wrote about an encounter he had in downtown Louisville one day at the corner of 4th & Walnut: ….There is no way of telling people that they are walking around shining like the sun. Then it was as if I suddenly saw the secret beauty of their hearts, the depths of their hearts where neither sin nor desire nor self-knowledge can reach, the core of their reality, the person that each one is in God’s eyes. If only they could all see themselves as they really are. If only we could see each other that way all the time... I think of these words so often in terms of our experience of belovedness; specifically around the challenge of transferring our knowledge of being beloved by God, to allowing ourselves the grace to do more than accept ourselves, but to embrace our inherent and purposeful dignity for what it is—a gift. What is one tangible way you will thank God, today, for the gift of your body—warts and all?   [bctt tweet="On Women, Jesus, and Body Image #BISblog //" via="no"]

Picture the cringe-worthy bosses depicted in A Christmas Carol or The Devil Wears Prada. Scrooge and Miranda criticize, demand, and exact time and effort from their employees all the while belittling them, with very little acknowledgement of their efforts or lives outside of the office. To work for these kinds of leaders is to be made very aware of your contributions as valued less than others, to say the least. Interestingly, there are few movies about great bosses. But there are many about great mentors. Thankfully, these mentors can be found in a variety of roles: teachers, coaches, neighbors, etc. Compare previously-mentioned leadership styles to the warm, mentoring roles of August Boatright in The Secret Life of Bees or Sean McGuire of Goodwill Hunting where the flailing protagonists are confused by being treated with respect, dignity, accountability, honesty, and genuine concern. They are challenged and supported through difficult circumstances, and they come out better for it, if not a little bewildered. Maybe you have experienced the tutelage of folks in either of these roles…and there is a chasm between them. We know who we would prefer to work for. To Serve, Not to Be Served Think of a time when you have observed someone in leadership who has a strong rapport with those they oversee, or perhaps when you as leader have had this experience. This sort of bond tends not to happen in positions of strict authority, but within a shared goal or mission. Often it happens in organizations where management regularly takes shifts with all other employees, or when professors ask students the names of janitorial staff on their mid-term exams. It happens when leaders pay attention. Servant Leadership Means Being Attentive First and foremost, we see Jesus as a model servant leader whom we are to emulate. Let’s look at a few instances when Jesus recognizes what is happening around Him as an opportunity to teach, without having to be the sole instructor. // The Widow’s mite. Jesus doesn’t just tell about what generous giving looks like. In His servanthood, He teaches by holding up the example of those who are getting it right (Luke 21:1-4). // Turning Water into wine. Although He tells Mary His time has not yet come, Jesus’ first miracle occurs at the Wedding at Cana when He turns water into wine (John 2: 1-12). // When Jesus gets into Simon’s fishing boat and instructs him to cast again. Jesus could have taken over and brought in the haul Himself. Instead, He leaves it to the professionals and allows their savvy to speak to the miracle that it is. (Luke 5:4) The Gospels are full of encounters and parables where Jesus, the Teacher, allows His instruction to happen by those who do not share His station, but whose presence and dignity He chooses to honor. He is not threatened by their gifts (or faults). Servant leadership is part of Jesus’ very nature—and it is one we’re called to as well. What are the Needs? Servant leadership means leading with a good read on (and high regard for) the needs of those most impacted by the practices of an organization. Traditionally, this is will mean employees. However it also means paying attention to the needs of employees’ families. It means asking questions about the impact (positive or negative) that an organization has on a local community, the environment, etc. In a different context, it means knowing the needs of your children or neighbors and proceeding about your business with honoring those needs. This could mean not mowing your lawn in the morning while your neighbor who works the night shift is trying to sleep. It might also mean having a solid routine for your kiddo who needs structure, or park time for kids with pent-up energy after school. Often Servant Leadership Means Delegation Those who serve with the heart of a servant are not intimidated by calling upon the gifts of others, but calling them out and calling them up while providing resources and encouragement for others to do so. Have you ever seen yourself in the role of a leader? We don’t have to be CEOs or Executive Directors to put this into practice (although certainly if you are in one of these positions you wield tremendous potential). What about your role coordinating the food drive at school, directing the Sunday school Christmas pageant, hosting a new parishioner dinner, coordinating carpools/homeschool/virtual learning this year? The point is, we are each called to variety of leadership roles over the course of a week and lifetime. Taking the pressure off of ourselves as the one "in charge" can be a game changer in terms of leading and can make for a much more collaborative, growing experience for all involved. Every school, family, parish and organization stands to benefit from more leaders in this sense. Give Your Servant a Listening Heart What we can all do: Be humble Continually develop and lead with our God-given gifts Call upon and foster the gifts we see in others Give credit where credit is due How does the approach of leading like Christ change the pressure of being in charge? [bctt tweet="Servant Leadership #BISblog //" via="no"]

I’ll just name the elephant in the room. This post is about money. Whether you have a lot or a little, you’ve got it, and chances are good that you’re wondering what you should be doing with it. Maybe your reality is the very difficult decision to pay rent or to pay for medication. Maybe you’re eating peanut butter and jelly while trying to pay for college loans, or wondering slack-jawed what college will cost when your infant graduates from high school. Perhaps you are saving for a reliable car, or a first house. Maybe you're agonizing over whether you can retire in a way that will meet your long-term needs. Money, Money, Money, Money Pandemic or not, studies show that most Americans cannot handle an unexpected $400 bill without going into debt. In some cases, debt prevents individuals from pursuing religious life until they can pay off student loans. If this is you, you are not alone. For many, there is just not enough to go around, and equally prevalent is the lack of confidence or absolute fear of looking at the numbers on paper and knowing how to proceed. Add to this the stigma of talking about finances as though we are not in complete control, and we understandably have a real problem on our hands. I will be the first to tell you that I am not an expert in finances. I am a stay-at-home-mom with a husband who works for a non-profit. So while we are well-versed in coupons, Craigslist, and second-hand, I am not writing this piece because we are having hospital wings named after us. Rather, it's because we are frequently in conversation about finances, how to steward them well, what that looks like, and what we can learn. Sorting It Out We learned early on in our marriage that we would need to run a pretty tight ship, financially-speaking. In an effort to do that we have read a lot, tried a handful of methods, and continue to adjust as needed. But this year, we participated in a Catholic finance program, Faith & Money Matters by Compass Catholic Ministries, which really connected the heart of addressing our finances in a way that connects us to the heart of what God desires our relationship with money to look like. Rather than a class format, it was offered as a Bible Study, and we were so impressed by its step-by-step process for helping people to get out of debt and to a place where they could be excited to give money away with an open hand rather than a clenched fist. Finances are an integral part of our daily lives, yet so few of us are really comfortable when the conversation turns to money—even within our own families. Add a pandemic and possible furlough/job changes, and a topic that is usually uncomfortable becomes downright unsettling. Making ends meet can feel like enough of a burden, and the expectation to share on top of it can feel almost laughable. Becoming Stewards He said, “I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest; for those others have all made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood” (Luke 21:3-4). Recently I was in conversation with a friend who shared that she has noticed a negative connotation between the term "stewardship" and peoples’ reluctance to give. In her experience, asking folks to be stewards of their time, talent, and treasure most often was heard as giving only treasure, and is typically greeted without much enthusiasm. “How can we change the conversation to one that gets people excited to share,” she wondered out loud? One of the best snarky fundraiser lines I ever heard went something like this: Good news, we have all the money we need for the renovation project. Bad news, it’s still in your wallets. We have all been there on Sunday when the visiting missionary comes to speak at the time of the second collection. Often we are inspired by what they have to share, but there is absolutely reluctance when it comes to actually handing it over. After all, we have worked hard to earn this money and it is ours, fair and square, we assure ourselves. We can already envision at least four ways this money could be put to good use for our own family, right? Reminder: It All Belongs to God Look, the heavens, even the highest heavens, belong to the LORD, your God, as well as the earth and everything on it. -Deuteronomy 10:14 Sure, our paychecks are earned; they are earned by the talents and skills we have been given by God. Returning a portion of the gifts we have received has so much less to do with our generosity than it does with our willingness to collaborate with God by way of responding to the opportunities that arise for us to give of ourselves—and often, they pinch. There are over 2,500 passages in Scripture that speak to a having a positive relationship with money and it all comes down to these simple themes: Be in right relationship with your money by not making it an idol (Matthew 6:19-21). Do your best to stay out of debt; when you get into debt-pay it off (Romans 13:8). Bless others to the extent you are able (Tobit 4:7-11). How Much is "Enough"? This is the million dollar question. Given a popular opinion poll, many of us would respond that 10% of our income is the appropriate amount to give (although this is not a limit). For some, this amount is completely overwhelming, while for others, it might just be another budget line item not given much thought. The key focusing question should be: How much do I desire to give? This says everything about the posture of our giving. If what we desire to give does not match our means, start with what you can do and pray for circumstances that allow for greater generosity. It may surprise you to see the way God shows up in our desire to give. Even if our budget allows for us to include a 10% tithe on a monthly basis, our spirit toward giving can become an autopilot response. On one hand this is a great problem to have; on the other hand it is a good indication that we’re being invited to an embodied stewardship—one that involves ongoing conversations that stretch us beyond setting up automatic bill pay. A healthy relationship with tithing is a regular commitment to giving of our means in such a way as to prioritize our offering, while meeting the needs of our circumstances. Legacy Imagine the joy in helping to support organizations, foster families, and outreach programs that are close to your heart. Some suggest doing this at a local, national, and global scale, dividing your tithe three ways. However you choose to be generous, God intends the experience to be one of joy. Not a grumbling, "How much is enough?" but rather, "How much can we offer?" The key is getting started. Take that drive-thru coffee out of your budget and replace it with something meaningful: funds an organization of your choice can depend on. The Catholic Church has a legacy of being the most charitable institution in the world. Drawing on Scripture, tithing, social teaching, and the practice of giving alms, this is a tradition worth continuing. Of course we cannot give what we do not have. We can learn a lot from the widow’s mite in Luke’s Gospel, combined with the encouragement littered throughout Scripture to steward well what we have. Even if it means starting with small contributions, what kinds of outreach would you be thrilled to support?   [bctt tweet="Tithing // Why, What, How, + Where #BISblog //" via="no"]

We are now more than half way through 2020. In light of the many surprising ways the year has unfolded up until this point, I imagine we have all learned a thing or two about ourselves that we hadn’t given much thought to when we were naively setting new year’s resolutions and making plans in our crisp, new, planners last January. I know I have. Simple Lessons Some of these lessons have been simple enough: learning to be creative with the canned goods in my cabinets, logging in to my (now) virtual meetings, or the ability to pivot, scrapping long-anticipated plans. Others lessons have highlighted my tremendous gratitude for teachers, grocers, healthcare workers, social service providers, delivery truck drivers, and postal workers that have maintained a semblance of normalcy in times that were anything but. In hindsight, these "lessons" look a bit more like elementary assignments preparing me for the work of the rest of the year. Bigger Revelations Other lessons have been more complex, moving quickly away from simple routine and adaptations into a new and unfamiliar terrain. For example, in this wilderness of a year, I have learned that I can quickly react out of fear and selfishness when my assumption has always been that I would do just the opposite. I have learned in newer, far-reaching ways that my experience has been one of privilege, and not just during the pandemic. Stepping back long enough to examine this truth has been the most recent, most important revelation that has come to pass during this time of isolation and it deserves some attention, not to mention, guidance. It can be difficult to notice things about ourselves that we don’t like, and often we feel at a loss to address them, so we don’t. Gratefully, the man whose feast we celebrate today has a great deal to share in terms of discernment and self-reflection: two habits that would serve us well as we continue in this place of wilderness. Finding God in All Things Saint Ignatius of Loyola helped to form the Society of Jesus (the Jesuits) in 1539. Saint Ignatius had a tremendous conversion to faith while recovering from an injury from a cannon ball received in battle, where he had only two books to read: One on Jesus, one on the Saints. He was captivated by the idea of being a knight, but his concept of whom he would serve had completely shifted. After his recovery, Ignatius began study for religious life. His instruction to early Jesuits was to go out and “find God in all things.” Jesuits are known for their long history of missionary work and education, but most especially for spiritual direction and retreats. Saint Ignatius’ well-known work, The Spiritual Exercises, has guided the faithful through retreats and discernment for hundreds of years. Included in the text is a daily practice of examination known simply as the Examen. It can be used anywhere and by anyone, but it is intended to be implemented each day in an effort to reflect on the ways that an individual was able to find God in all things/may have missed opportunities to find God in all things. The Examen: Crossroads of Opportunity and Need for Self-Reflection In honor of his feast today, and because we have never been at a better crossroad of opportunity for prayer (postponed summer plans) and need for self-reflection, here is the basic process of praying the Examen: 1.Place yourself in the presence of God. Give thanks for God's great love for you. For many of us, we have a good sense in our heads that God loves us, but when was the last time you experienced that in your heart? The practice of allowing ourselves to be loved and to revel in being beloved is its own gift in prayer. Begin here. 2. Pray for the grace to understand how God is acting in your life. Sometimes the hand of God is evident in the day-to-day of your vocation, but not always. Particularly if you find yourself in a time of confusion or frustration, asking for the grace to see God’s action in our lives can provide much solace. 3. Review your day—recall specific moments and your feelings at the time. This can look a little bit like "roses and thorns" of summer camp fame: what were 1-2 great things about the day? What moments/opportunities do you now understand could have gone differently? How did each make you feel? 4. Reflect on what you did, said, or thought in those instances. Were you drawing closer to God, or further away? Focusing on the way you experienced the interaction is a big part of discernment. Asking ourselves whether our response moved us nearer or further from God is a helpful way to navigate moving forward and how God is calling us to act. 5. Look toward tomorrow—think of how you might collaborate more effectively with God's plan. Be specific, and conclude with the "Our Father." Notice your awareness of God in your day, today. In the circumstances that are coming in the day ahead, what are a couple of concrete ways that you can already commit to that might provide greater opportunity for collaboration in God’s plan? Finally, close in prayer. For this and other Ignatian prayer resources, click here. Fresh Take This prayer practice might be familiar to you, or a fresh take on daily reflection. Many appreciate the accountability as well as the guidance through circumstances that feel unsurmountable or isolating—whether swamped with kiddos underfoot, making tough, corporate decisions, or caring for an ailing family member, utilizing the Examen is a great reminder that we can seek (and find) God in all things. Since the object of our love is infinite, we can always love more and more perfectly. -Saint Ignatius of Loyola How have you been/might you be surprised to find God at work in situations that you hadn’t previously considered?   [bctt tweet="Saint Ignatius of Loyola and the Examen #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

If your friend circles include folks who are Protestant, chances are that you have had the privilege of listening to them share their testimony—a personal accounting of how they committed their lives to Christ by accepting Jesus into their hearts. Perhaps you’ve even been invited to tell your story. I know I have! And truly, this is a fantastic practice, albeit often less practiced for Catholics. Always be ready to give a reason for your hope. -1 Peter 3:15 Articulating the most meaningful and inexplicable relationship in our lives is bound to require a few renderings before we might have anything coherent to share with another, lest we find ourselves tongue-tie, sobbing, or both. The point is, naming how we have come to know and love Jesus as God in the way that we do is one of the most compelling ways of sharing the Good News with the world. Being able to share this message of hope is undoubtedly important in our own faith lives, and it is the first step toward evangelization. Model Evangelists Scripture is chalk-full of individuals whose lives were changed by Christ, and their first impulse is to share the good news: Mary Magdalene, Saul/Paul, the leper who was healed, or the deaf and mute man in Mark’s Gospel, the Gerasene demoniac, the Apostles; not to mention the Gospel writers. We can also look to the Saints, and Pope Saint John Paul II who coined the phrase, “the new evangelization,” as folks who have taken to heart what it meant to proclaim the Good News. Yet, how often do we hear these accountings of evangelists and feel our own palms sweat at the thought of our own call to the same? Gratefully, we are not called to be JPII or Mary Magdalene—those roles have already been fulfilled. The invitation offered us is to confidently use our own circumstances to be heralders of the Good News. [bctt tweet="The invitation offered us is to confidently use our own circumstances to be heralders of the Good News. #BISblog //" via="no"] Such a Time as This More than likely, we will not be struck off a horse and called by name to serve the Lord, though God’s very intricate knowledge of who you are, and who I am, means that we have very particular work to do in this time and place. In the words of Queen Esther: “Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.”-Esther 4:14 Looking at it this way bolsters my confidence by acknowledging that I am the only one given this particular work to do, so I had better do it as best as I’m able. WRITE + PRAY We invite you to sit with the Word and unpack it in a uniquely personal way, finding your own story. Discover your story within His. GET WRITE AND PRAY Everyday Evangelization // 5 Small Ways to Begin If you are reading this with a desire to incorporate more opportunities for sharing the Good News in your sphere, here are a couple of subtle ideas worth trying as you learn to flex your evangelical muscles. 1. Pray when you go out to eat/before lunch at work. This simple gesture is a perfect way to not only remind ourselves, but to give witness to our posture of gratitude for the gifts we have been given. 2. Bless strangers when they sneeze. For some this is instinctual, for others it is a step outside our comfort zones. Generously shouting blessing for good health takes no premeditated effort and has a lingering effect—particularly to those upon whom blessings are not often verbally spoken. 3. Suggest faith resources for purchase by the public library. In general, public libraries are a wealth of resources on all subjects but faith. This is a terrific way to both support Catholic authors and to provide resources for evangelization for those who might not otherwise have access. 4. Offer to pray for/with a friend who is struggling (or celebrating). This can be a bit of a new leaf for those unpracticed in doing so. If so, perhaps begin by writing a prayer in a note and mailing it, or speaking words of prayer to a friend over coffee. 5. Wear a crucifix. I heard a story once about a devout man whose life was a model of service and love to those around him. He had earned the deep esteem and respect of a co-worker as a role model worth imitating. However, the devout man never spoke about God or acknowledged to co-workers that his life choices had been informed by his faith. Imagine the surprise of his co-workers who, upon his death, learned that he was a faith-filled man. He had lived his life in a way that was admirable, but not in a way that led those around him to the Lord. Meanwhile, those who stood to benefit from his influence missed an opportunity to open themselves to the same nourishment by which the devout man had been nourished for years. Whatever methods we choose for evangelization, would that the devout man serve as a reminder that being kind may not be enough to introduce those in our lives to the love of God. Just Begin Clearly this list is just the beginning. The sky's the limit when it comes to the ways we can share our love for Christ, and to begin to do it in ways that don’t cause anxiety. Be creative, be brave. “Perhaps you were born for such a time as this.” What creative ways have you found incorporate evangelization into your current circumstances?   [bctt tweet="Everyday Evangelization: Subtle Ways to Preach the Gospel #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting the ministry of Blessed is She!

The Easter Gospel stories from both Matthew and John lead with Mary Magdalene. This is as important as it is surprising. Certainly her account of encounter of the empty tomb and the Risen Lord are compelling. Given the time and place in which she lived in history, the fact that the deliverer of the news of the resurrection was female is of particular significance: After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary came to see the tomb. And behold, there was a great earthquake; for an angel of the Lord descended from heaven, approached, rolled back the stone, and sat upon it. His appearance was like lightning and his clothing was white as snow. The guards were shaken with fear of him and became like dead men. Then the angel said to the women in reply, “Do not be afraid! I know that you are seeking Jesus the crucified. He is not here, for he has been raised just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples, ‘He has been raised from the dead, and he is going before you to Galilee; there you will see him.’ Behold, I have told you.” Then they went away quickly from the tomb,fearful yet overjoyed, and ran to announce this to his disciples. -Matthew 28: 1-8 A Credible Source If you have done much historical reading, Biblical or otherwise, the lion’s share of accounting belongs to the voices of men. Women’s voices, roles, and responsibilities waxed very much domestic and have been viewed as mostly inconsequential. Given this context, it would be logical, perhaps even wise, to imagine that Saint Matthew’s crescendo in the final chapter of his Gospel would have heralded in the Good News of Jesus’ Resurrection with unquestionable authority, particularly given the controversial nature of the claim: Jesus rising from the dead. After all, if you have incredible news, common sense dictates the tremendous benefits of the person left holding the metaphorical megaphone be… credible. It would stand to reason that John would have described one of the disciples, someone who had been with Jesus as a part of the Twelve, as the one calling out the name "Rabbouni." That would have comforted the hearers of the surprising news to have it on good authority, but it may have encouraged them to believe that this incredible news wasn’t going to shake things up too much. The Good News Instead, both Matthew and John recount Mary Magdalene as the herald of Good News. Mary Magdalene, traditionally thought of as the one out of whom demons had been called. Mary Magdalene, the one with a reputation. The one who lavishly anointed Jesus at table. The mind reels. And yet, with a slew of reasons for the surrounding community to doubt her audacious proclamation, the empty tomb and Christ’s self-revelation confirmed her words to be true! The earth quaked, and the status quo was about to be turned on its head. Mary Magdalene, Apostle to the Apostles This woman holds a distinguished role in announcing the Christ. So much so that, in the realm of iconography, Mary Magdalene is often depicted with a jug of oil and/or an egg in one hand, gesturing toward it with the other. Her historic role was to point the people toward the news of new life. This role of pointing the way to Christ is demonstrated well by the Saints, although it is vital that we ourselves see it as a a responsibility shared by all of the Baptized. This is the core of what we profess at the Easter Vigil when we renew our Baptismal promises: V. Do you reject Satan? R. I do. V. And all his works? R. I do. V. And all his empty promises? R. I do. V. Do you believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth? R. I do. V. Do you believe in Jesus Christ, his only Son, our Lord, who was born of the Virgin Mary was crucified, died, and was buried, rose from the dead, and is now seated at the right hand of the Father? R. I do. V. Do you believe in the Holy Spirit, the holy Catholic church, the communion of saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, and life everlasting? R. I do. V. God, the all-powerful Father of our Lord Jesus Christ has given us a new birth by water and the Holy Spirit, and forgiven all our sins. May he also keep us faithful to our Lord Jesus Christ for ever and ever. R. Amen. Saint Mary Magdalene, a Model for Us As the Easter season continues and the unprecedented events of our time threaten to overwhelm us, we approach the celebration of Pentecost fifty days after Easter. And it feels fitting that we do so in the company of Mary Magdalene. We would do well to emulate Saint Mary Magdalene’s particular ability to hold the tension of being both "fearful and overjoyed," that we too might announce the Good News with our lives. Saint Mary Magdalene, pray for us!   [bctt tweet="On Saint Mary Magdalene #BISblog //" via="no"]

A few years ago, I heard a newscaster reporting on a scene from the Vatican, in which Pope Francis presided over the Liturgy during Ordinary Time. The newscaster, offering commentary on the event, enthusiastically shared that in the spirit of Earth Day, the Pope was sporting green vestments. His observation was as innocent as it was inaccurate, which made it all the more humorous. Yet, it gets to the heart of what can feel is a disjointed relationship between the faithful and our responsibility to be good stewards of creation. Being Catholic and Caring for Creation This month, we celebrate Earth Day, a federal holiday acknowledging the importance of caring for the planet and our role in that as human beings. As Catholics, this day offers both cause for celebration and a challenge. Why? Since the publication of Pope Francis’ encyclical, Laudato Si, the mainstream media have heralded the Church for prioritizing care for creation, and this is well-deserved. What gets less press are the strides taken by Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI. He was dubbed the "green Pope" for his multiple calls for a greater stewardship among all people of faith, Catholics in particular. Pope St. John Paul II went so far as to say: Instead of carrying out his role as co-operator with God in the work of creation, man sets himself up in place of God and thus ends up provoking a rebellion on the part of nature, which is more tyrannized than governed by him. (Centesimus Annus 37) Another voice that added to the conversation was Pope Paul VI in 1967 when he wrote Populorum Progressio (On the Development of Peoples). In fact, he encouraged us to be men and women with a responsible vision for development of the world in tandem with God’s instructions for Adam and Eve in Genesis. This provides the foundation of "Care for Creation" as one of the seven tenets of Catholic Social Teaching. Creation + Care for the Vulnerable As we can see in both Scripture and Tradition, the Church has a rich history of connecting care for creation with care for the vulnerable, God’s anawim. When air, land, or water, are contaminated by irresponsible use, those on the margins are the first to experience the consequences. Because of our responsibility to Love God and our neighbor as ourselves, we are not exempt from the challenging call to be part of the solution rather than the problem. In addition to the Popes and Bishops who have been speaking to the subject for decades, there are contemporary voices like Dan Misleh and those at the Catholic Climate Covenant who speak meaningfully about this invitation. Sr. Dorothy Stang, whose cause for canonization is underway, was martyred in the Amazon for her solidarity with peasant farmers getting in the way of development of highly valuable land and resources. I truly believe this place of conscientiousness is worthy of celebration. What Stewardship of Creation Looks Like Perhaps the challenge lies in an openness to personal examination and a willingness to change our habits. The Church’s teaching on care for creation is reflected in what Pope Francis referred to avoiding a "throwaway culture." Stewardship is about accountability. Practical Steps of Stewardship What might it look like for you and I to claim stewardship as a hallmark of our life as Catholics? Offer God praise for the beautiful place we live. Shop locally or ethically for food/clothing—learn about the companies your purchases support. Carpool, pick up friends, neighbors, or those who don’t drive on your way to church (or anywhere). Shop with reusable bags. Pick up trash/don’t litter. Treat creation as the indispensable gift it was intended to be, rather than a means to profit. Support organizations who educate about responsible stewardship. As a family, parish, or workplace: recycle! Think of alternatives to serving food or coffee in styrofoam. "Live simply that others might simply live." This pithy bit of wisdom encourages each of us to assess what it is we need and how our habits affect the lives of others (clothing/shopping, food, travel, transportation, trash, chemicals, and so on). Rather than remaining ignorant of the impact our choices have on others, living simply is an invitation to be intentional and informed in a way that doesn’t harm another for my own personal gain. Rather, it is possible that life around me might flourish if I heed this call. Bless the Lord The profit Daniel illustrates this beautifully: Let the earth bless the Lord, praise and exalt him above all forever. Mountains and hills, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Everything growing on earth, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. You springs, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. Seas and rivers, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. You sea monsters and all water creatures, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. All you birds of the air, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. All you beasts, wild and tame, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. All you mortals, bless the Lord; praise and exalt him above all forever. (Daniel 3: 74-82) Daniel’s words remind us that all of creation offers praise to the Creator. Rather than a practice unaffected by our faith, would that our efforts at stewardship be animated by acknowledging creation as a gift! The whole earth is a living icon of the face of God. -St. John of Damascus   [bctt tweet="Catholicism + Stewardship of the Earth #BISblog //" via="no"]

I am not feeling particularly good at this "fostering faith" thing right now. I thought I was. But, in our house, we have run into a few recent and significant misunderstandings about Faith which required some good conversation to sort out—things I thought went without saying. Neither of which I am convinced would have come up without prompting. And I’m so grateful that they did! One day at a time. The Importance of Fostering Faith in Our Children We are in the thick of forming our kids in the Faith—spoon feeding, even—and it is becoming more and more clear, even in these elementary school years, that our role is to educate, to promote, and to model that which we do and to explain why we do it. That is my part, large or small. For it to take root, it must be authentic, compelling, repeated, and explained. To be understood by those whom I teach, it must be one concept at a time. Fostering faith in my kids is achingly important to me. It is an invaluable gift I hope to share. For all my preconceived ideas about its simplicity, it poses its own unique challenges. The inherent difficulty of passing on something as valuable as our Faith to those we love does not discriminate between young, old, married, single, convert, widowed, divorced, mother, godmother, aunt, sister, or child. We All Have Influence on Someone Whether you read this as a brand new God-mama to your infant nephew, as a mother of a lapsed Catholic, child caretaker of an agnostic parent, spouse of a non-believer, grandmother to a child(ren) growing up in a home that is no longer practicing their Faith, or the lone holdout of your "cradle Catholic" family...it is important. I’ve been giving this a lot of thought because there is so much to know about our Faith and Tradition. It is simultaneously simple and mind-bendingly complex. Several times in my own Theological higher education I remember thinking: This is so rich! Why am I just hearing it now? Shouldn’t this have been a part of my religious education? Do I have to go to graduate school to really understand these tenets of our Faith? I wish someone would have explained this to me! We All Benefit Even now, in a parish that fosters grade school religious education, alongside adult religious education, I get the sense that there is a chasm between the beauty of the Church and what the faithful recognize as their own. It is no wonder then, that for children learning about the Faith, there is a steep learning curve. Realistically, our children are not the only benefactors of our intentional lives of Christian witness. There are countless opportunities each day to foster the faith of another. This is no less important. After all, we are each, children of God. An important discovery I have made in giving this further attention and prayer is that, while I feel most responsible for the formation of the littles in my care, I am not limited to their hearts. I am invited to touch others with the Good News, too. It begs the question: Who else might be evangelized by the witness I can provide? In turn, if we each took up this call to a public life of faith, how many of those in our sphere of influence would cease to wonder at the motivations of our hospitality, charity, love? So often I assume people "get it," when in reality I wonder if my sometimes-timid acts of faithfulness are chalked up to being a “good person” as opposed to a living an integrated life of faith because I have been quiet where it matters most.     Practical and Purposeful Ways to Foster Faith in Our Kids The challenges are obvious, so let's look at a few simple and tactile ways to begin to foster faith in those we find in our lives (whether kids or not): Ask questions that start with: “Tell me what you know/think about, __________.” // Besides being good, open-ended dialogue, this is an ideal springboard for deeper conversation that gives a nod to what they already do know. It can also be a great way to invite questions. “Tell me something about the Holy Spirit/Baptism/______ that you wish you know more about.” Learn something new and pass it on // It is vital that children see adults as learners, too. Invite them into your own life of faith // Invite them to watch a movie about someone whose faith you admire, attend Mass, bring a meal or the Eucharist to someone who needs a visit, sign a petition, volunteer at the local soup kitchen. Describe how each of these actions are a part of our call as followers of Christ. Read together // Explore daily devotions, stories of Saints or missionaries, the Catholic paper (to pray through current events in the news). Practice meal prayers // At home and in public. Wear reminders of the Faith // Wear your crucifix, miraculous medal, scapular, Rosary bracelet, religious ring/earrings, etc. Let them see it and hold it. Tell them why you wear it. Nominate a child to lead prayer // This could be at dinner, before bed, at Thanksgiving/Christmas or Easter, etc. Invite them to lead both rote prayer and free-form prayer. Bonus points if they get to see you do the same! Listen to media that forms your faith // Listen to podcasts, talks, CDs, books on tape, etc. in the car that give everyone access to the same information, without only being the “teacher.” You Can Start...Now The good news is that we can begin any day, and it isn’t just the kids in our lives who will benefit. As a child, and still today, those whose faith has inspired and taught me the most were impactful because they were authentic. Their love of Christ Jesus was seamlessly integrated into everyday life. And they could tell me why. Because it was a daily practice, it spilled into the lives around them. In turn, there is an invitation to continue to form these faithful habits, or to amp up our commitment to do so (Lent is the perfect season for this). In practical terms, how might we adopt a practice this season that spills into our everyday lives in such a way that not only speaks to the children (children of God) in our lives, but invites conversation as well? [bctt tweet="The Challenges and Opportunities of Fostering Faith in Our Children #BISblog //" via="no"] THE PERFECT BOOK FOR KIDS Rise Up will open up beautiful conversations with your children about the virtues. . This will bring beautiful fruit to your prayer life and to your children's prayer lives. GET RISE UP

Last fall, there was a terrible commotion down the street from me—firetrucks and police cars were everywhere, blocking the road. Only later did we come to find out that one home had caught on fire and the fire had spread to the house to its west. Firefighters arrived quickly and saved both houses, though there are still visible reminders of that afternoon in the ongoing repair work to fix the structural damage. More than being a teaching opportunity for my children, who were frightened to see the damage and hear the sirens, it was a wakeup call for me upon realizing I did not know the names or telephone numbers of either of the households involved. Not the Neighborhood We Envisioned I’ll be the first to admit that I have fallen short of my own lofty vision when it comes to creating a neighborhood feel as we settled into our new abode. I had hoped that it would include cookouts and progressive dinners, splitting perennials, neighborhood babysitters, graduation parties, and watching fireworks together with gaggles of neighborhood children running around. First, that is not the neighborhood we found. Second, six years later, that is not the neighborhood vibe we’ve cultivated. What we found was a working class neighborhood with high rates of turnover and scarcely any children. I’ve often thought to myself: If I brought the proverbial jello mold to every new neighbor we get, it could be a full-time job! This isn’t unusual, of course. It’s a near archetype of suburban America. And, though it is not unusual, it is unfortunate. This disconnect begins to hit close to home when we hear St. Mark describe the Greatest Commandment (which is actually two-fold): Loving the Lord your God with all of your heart, soul, mind and strength; and loving your neighbor as yourself. The Ministry of Ordinary Places This mission humbly asks that we devote ourselves to the overlooked spiritual practice of paying attention to wherever God has placed us. That's where we begin, and, though it's not terribly complicated, it will ask more of us than we ever imagined. - Shannan Martin   It was about this time that my unfamiliarity with my neighbors began to get the better of me, and providentially the time when I got my hands on Shannan Martin’s Ministry of Ordinary Places. Shannan is hobby-farm blogger turned city-dwelling writer in the industrial Midwest. She has been captivated by getting to be a part of her neighbors' lives and is compelled to be a part of theirs. She is an old soul, and the experiences and relationships she shares in her book invite readers to imagine the possibilities in our own lives if we sought to meet the needs of our own neighbors. To live as though God intended our loving ______ (insert neighbor’s name, here), next to loving Jesus, as the most important thing a Christ-follower might do. No Better Time to Start February often gets a bad rap. It is stuck between the newness of the new year and mired in the grey skies and chill of mid-winter. What better time is there to begin to reach out to a new neighbor, or someone who could use a hand shoveling their driveway? But where to begin? Will I come on too strong if I suddenly start taking an interest in folks I have never spoken to before? How to Reach Out to Your Neighbors Here are eight simple points I’ve taken from Shannan’s playbook that serve as a springboard for fostering neighborliness in a season where I am earnestly seeking concrete suggestions. Maybe you are, too. More than that, winter, when we are shut up behind closed doors and windows for a season, is an isolating experience for all of us. Now is the time to spread some unexpected caritas. Ask for help // Let neighbors teach you, lend things out, offer insights, and come alongside you in times of need. Do the same for them. Cook + share // Make big pots of soup, or kettles of tea, cookies, lasagna—and share! Walk your neighborhood // This will nearly force you to run into folks and introduce yourself/check in with them. Keep an eye out for one another // Houses and children, alike. Offer a ride // Be a resource for someone who doesn’t drive/missed their bus/relies on public transit. Dig into local issues // At the neighborhood school, in the local paper, etc. Answer the door! Be the neighborhood kid hangout // And be prepared to feed them. Monumental in Simplicity As Christ-followers, we are called to be long-haul neighbors committed to authenticity and willing to take some risks. Our vocation is to invest deeply in the lives of those around us, devoted to one another, physically close to each other as we breathe the same air and walk the same blocks. Our purpose is not so mysterious after all. We get to love and be deeply loved right where we’re planted, by whomever happens to be near. We will inevitably encounter brokenness we cannot fix, solve, or understand, and we’ll feel as small, uncertain, and outpaced as we have ever felt. But we’ll find our very lives in this calling, to be among people as Jesus was, and it will change everything. -Shannan Martin   Nothing in this book is monumental. In fact, had it been published sixty years earlier, I wonder who would have read it. They wouldn’t have needed a guide to being neighborly; it was already built-in. Our mobile, ever-extending lives have morphed into something so transient that we often do not know the names—much less the needs—of the ones who live right next door to us. Admittedly, this vision of neighborliness is my New Year’s resolution. It does not have to be yours, too. The good news is, it can take as much or little time as you have. You do not have to be wealthy/single/married/empty-nesting/young/old to do this and do it well. Imagine how the dynamic of a neighborhood—of our own lives—might change by inviting one new person into it? After all, through hospitality “some have unknowingly entertained angels” (Hebrews 13: 1-2). Have you read this book? How are you trying to reach out to your physical neighbors? [bctt tweet="BIS Reads: Ministry of Ordinary Places #BISblog //" via="no"] This post contains affiliate links. Thanks so much for supporting Blessed is She!

Honoring the Sacred Heart in the world is a practice of both/and. We have interior work to do, which naturally permeates to the external, and back again. Already this week we have examined the ways that we might conform our hearts to the Sacred Heart through imitation and prayer, animated and nurtured by God’s deep love for us. The other half of this devotion is active...

Recently, I was listening to a homily by Fr. Mike Schmitz in which he recounts a comment he heard by a choir member one morning at Mass. She leaned over and, looking out at the gathered community, whispered to her neighbor: “I see dead people.†You know what she means...

There are two striking touch points that Pope St. John Paul II includes in this excerpt which I find comforting: encounter and the heart. Pope Francis has been describing a "culture of encounter" since the beginning of his papacy in 2013—the idea that we are changed by engaging our Faith in the world and the people in it. He says, “Whenever we encounter another person in love, we discover something new about God.†We know this to be true in our own experience, whether we can relate to these discoveries in terms of our best friends, or those whose opinions and perspectives challenge us most deeply. If we’re lucky, these attributes can be true of the same people...

“The world will be saved by beauty,†we hear. These words consoled Dorothy Day, which tell us a great deal about the needs of the human spirit. In her houses of hospitality in New York City during the Great Depression and beyond, she witnessed the ugliness of poverty and addiction on a daily basis. She knew what it meant to long for and to be filled by beauty...

There is a park I love and hate to take my kids to when it gets really hot. It is half awesome slides, half splash pad. As you can imagine, this is wildly popular among the families in our community, so it is always packed. I love it because my kids have a blast. I hate it because it is mentally exhausting to watch little ones up, down, and around all of the play equipment. Because, ultimately, I am afraid of them being separated and the accompanying feeling of fear that quickly follows until I can find them again...

Two things washed over me as I listened to the lyrics of Matt Maher’s song, Garden...

Upon becoming a new dad, a friend of mine described the experience of bringing a new baby into a room as inviting all occupants to a "baby campfire." I instantly knew what he meant. Instinctively, we know to gather, to see with new eyes, and allow ourselves to become transfixed on the thing of beauty before us...