“ . . . but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood.” // Luke 21:4
As I approached my junk-covered desk and tried to clear off some space, I attempted to quiet my mind and heart for prayer. My cluttered desk resembled my cluttered heart. Prayer was the last thing I wanted to do, yet I still knew it was the only thing I needed. I opened up a livestream of Eucharistic Adoration on my computer as my body weighed heavily on my desk chair. I wasn’t exhausted physically, but emotionally.
I attempted to keep my focus on the Beloved, but my mind was going in a million different directions. Although my atmosphere was quiet, my mind raged with commotion. Through my frustration, I told Jesus, I’m sorry, but no one prepared me for this. No one told me that my friend was going to be sent to the ER for suicidal thoughts. I’m overwhelmed and I have nothing to give You.
In today’s Gospel, we read, “ . . . but she, from her poverty, has offered her whole livelihood” (Luke 21:4). Much like the widow in this Gospel, I didn’t have much to give. The tender love of Jesus caught my attention when He gently whispered into my heart, Take comfort in My presence. It’s enough that you chose to sit here with Me.
Sister, Jesus knows the depths of our suffering. He knows how shocking these unexpected and heartbreaking experiences can be. He doesn’t expect us to “get it.” All He wants is you. He doesn’t even need your words; He just wants you. Even if in your prayer you can only sit in silence or just cry the entire time or express your need to be mad at Him, He wants all of that.
All we give to Him is a gift and it’s enough. It’s enough for Him.
Lord Jesus, we love You and we praise You. Help us to lift our hearts, our pain, our sufferings to You. Help us to know and root ourselves in the truth that You're always here. That You care. That You love us more deeply and infinitely than we can imagine. Amen.
Bella Rol est une étudiante de Monterey, en Californie. Elle étudie l'éducation de la petite enfance alors qu'elle poursuit son rêve de travailler avec des enfants et d'avoir un jour les siens à charge. En attendant, elle est la grande sœur de trois jeunes frères. Pendant son temps libre, on la trouve généralement avec son carnet de croquis et ses fournitures d'art alors qu'elle griffonne.
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