December 2025 will always be marked as the most painful month of my life. At the beginning of the Advent season, I asked Mary if I could become more like her. I had no idea that within a few days, I would be able to relate to her in a way that I never had before. My five-year-old son, Micah, suddenly fell sick and passed away eleven days later on December 31.
In the midst of such a horrible experience, I felt Mary holding me and telling me that she understands. She, herself, witnessed the painful death of her beloved Son. I learned about the Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Mother, and I walked through them with her. As I meditated on the profound sorrows and sufferings our Lady endured, I was able to experience, through God’s grace, peace and trust in the Lord.
Seven Sorrows of the Blessed Virgin Mary
Traditionally, the Catholic Church honors seven sorrowful events in the life of the Blessed Mother, which are found in Sacred Scripture and Tradition:
- The Prophecy of Simeon
- The Flight into Egypt
- The Loss of Jesus in the Temple
- Mary Meets Jesus on the Way to Calvary
- The Crucifixion and Death of Jesus
- Jesus is Taken Down from the Cross
- The Burial of Jesus
Throughout my own sorrowful experience of losing Micah, I related to each of Mary’s sorrows in very tangible ways.
The Prophecy of Simeon
Mary and Joseph present the child Jesus in the temple, and Simeon, recognizing Jesus as the Messiah, prophesies the suffering He would endure. He tells Mary that Jesus is “destined for the falling and rising of many” and that “a sword will pierce your own soul too” (see Luke 2:25-35).
On the last day of Micah’s life, a priest came to celebrate the Holy Mass in our hospital room. This was the Gospel reading for that day. Even though I was holding on to hope that Micah would miraculously wake up, I knew that these words of Simeon were for me too. Watching Micah suffer in the hospital felt like a stab to my heart, but knowing that I would lose my sweet little boy felt like a stab to my soul.
The Flight into Egypt
As King Herod seeks to kill the infant Jesus, an angel warns Joseph in a dream. He is told to take Mary and Jesus and flee to Egypt (see Matthew 2:13-15).
Leaving behind the comfort of home and belongings for a foreign land must have felt overwhelming and dreadful to Mary and Joseph. It reminds me of the time when I was pregnant with Micah, and my husband felt called to move our family from California to Texas. Though I felt disappointed and confused, I trusted that he was leading our family well and responding to the Lord’s call.
Similarly, in the hospital, I leaned on my husband and his strong headship of our family. During a time when I felt lost, desperate, and exhausted, I looked to him to make many important decisions. He fought with everything in him to give Micah the best chance of survival, advocating for him and for our family with a strength I hadn’t seen before. He was our Saint Joseph. And while I felt the fear and anxiety Mary must have experienced while fleeing her home, I also felt her encouraging me to remain docile, to trust, and to follow.
The Loss of Jesus in the Temple
When Jesus was twelve, He was lost for three days. Mary and Joseph find Him in the temple, teaching the elders. When Mary asks why He stayed behind, Jesus replies, “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” (see Luke 2:41-51)
I can understand the stress and agony Mary felt when she couldn’t find Jesus. When Micah was three, he got lost at Sea World for five or ten minutes. Those agonizing moments felt like an eternity; I can only imagine what three days felt like. However, I also remember the breathtaking relief when we found him.
This is what I feel now. I endure the absolute agony and sorrow of not being able to see and hold Micah, and I still find myself searching for him in our home. Yet, I also feel a sense of relief and sweet consolation, knowing that Micah is with the Father in his true, heavenly home.
Mary Meets Jesus on the Way to Calvary
While not directly corresponding to a specific Scripture passage, we honor the point in Jesus’ Passion when Mary encounters her Son carrying the Cross, in the fourth Station of the Cross (see Luke 23:27-31).
Micah’s illness began with the common flu, and only two days later, he was admitted to the hospital with seizures. Sepsis led to serious complications throughout his body, especially his brain. After a grueling eleven days, the hospital declared him dead.
During those days sitting by his hospital bed, I felt like Mary witnessing Jesus’ suffering as He carried His Cross. Micah was carrying his own. And as his mother, it pained me to watch his body fail; so much was out of my control. I spoke to him, stroked his hair, sang to him, and read books to him. I stood by his side just as Mary stood by Jesus. But I could not save him. This was the hardest act of surrender I have ever had to endure.
The Crucifixion and Death of Jesus
Mary stands at the Foot of the Cross as Jesus dies (see John 19:25-27).
After Micah’s medical team removed all of his lines, breathing tube, and monitors, I lay down next to him and held him, just as I had done so many times throughout his life. I rested my head on his little chest and listened as his heart began to slow down.
Because his heartbeat was the first sign of life I heard when I was pregnant with him, it was deeply important to me that it would also be the last thing I heard as he passed on to the next life. I cried as his heart beat slower and quieter, until there was only silence.
Jesus is Taken Down From the Cross
Mary receives the body of Jesus, and with Nicodemus, they “[wrap] it with the spices in linen cloths, according to the burial custom of the Jews” (see John 19:38-40).
We asked Micah’s nurses to let us bathe him one last time. As I lathered up the soap and washed his hair, I thought of the many baths I had given him, beginning with his very first as a newborn. This was my last act of motherly love: to clean him, comb his hair, dress him in his favorite cozy pajamas, and tuck him into bed with the blanket pulled up to his chin.
The Burial of Jesus
Mary grieves as Jesus is laid in the tomb (see Mark 15:46-47).
While Micah’s funeral Mass was filled with triumphant hope, I dreaded his burial at the cemetery. It would be my final moment with Micah’s physical body, and I knew once he was laid to rest, it would be final.
As Micah was lowered into the ground and the first shovel-full of dirt landed on his casket, I felt the sudden and desperate urge to jump in there with him and beg God to, please, take me too.
But looking at my five other children and my weeping husband, I knew I still have things to do in this life. I have children to raise and love, ensuring they stay close to Jesus. Like Mary, I have an opportunity to proclaim the greatness of God to the world, to praise His name, and to share Micah’s story to bring Him glory. I pray that this will help lead many souls to Jesus.
Becoming Like Mary
In the midst of my sorrow, Mary has held my hand, and I have clung to her maternal heart. In your own grief and suffering, I hope that you can also look to our Blessed Mother. Ask her to help you gain grace and wisdom as you unite your own sorrows to hers and to Christ’s.
And “give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you” (1 Thessalonians 5:18). Whether in joy or trial, may we trust like Mary and be a witness to the goodness of God.
Maggie Kim est épouse et mère de 4 enfants. Elle est devenue catholique convertie en 2013 après avoir découvert son amour pour l'Eucharistie, la Tradition Sacrée et les puissantes prières d'intercession des Saints. En tant qu'infirmière autorisée, elle a une passion pour la sensibilisation à la fertilité, le mouvement pro-vie et tout ce qui concerne les mères et les bébés. Pendant son temps libre, elle aime lire des romans à suspense, manger des desserts et regarder des films avec une bonne tasse de café. Son mari, Paul, est un orateur catholique , elle comprend donc les hauts et les bas de la vie du ministère, mais aime pouvoir servir dans cette mission donnée par Dieu aux côtés de sa famille. Vous pouvez en savoir plus sur elle ici .
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