The Healing Power of Community After Trauma

In our broken world, many of us face crosses and trauma. When I was in high school, I learned that firsthand.

One day, during my junior year, I received a text. One of my marching band friends had passed out that morning. At the hospital, she was diagnosed with a pulmonary embolism. She never regained consciousness. She was only fifteen.

I remember my friends and myself struggling. The week after, we were in a daze. We struggled to concentrate at school. We were confused and hurting. We cried. We had all faced a traumatic event and processed it in many different ways and at different speeds.

My faith struggled in light of this event. I spent months in prayer yelling at God, angry and confused about why He let it happen. I was constantly anxious that something similar would happen again.

Slowly, though, I found healing. In prayer, God helped me see how, through this horrible event, He taught me true faith and true friendship. Slowly, I could let go of my resentment towards God as He listened patiently to my anger.

My marching band community was also an essential part of the healing process. In the following weeks and months, we spent lots of time together. We held prayer services, went out for ice cream, attended our friend's funeral, and celebrated anniversaries in our friend’s honor. These things helped us keep our friend's memory alive and know we weren't alone in our grief.

A Hidden Epidemic

When I studied psychology, I learned that there is a hidden epidemic of trauma, surrounded by stigma and often buried. In psychology, we define trauma as an event or series of events that a person perceives as life-threatening and/or causes physical or emotional harm (source).

And unfortunately, it is all too common.

In addition to tragic acts of nature, childhood traumas can include abuse, neglect, witnessing violence or drug use, having someone in the home be incarcerated or struggling with mental illness, and experiencing parents’ separation or divorce. Two-thirds of U.S. adults have experienced at least one of these types of trauma, and one in six has faced four or more of these traumas (source). Additionally, 70.4 percent of people have experienced at least one traumatic event throughout their lifetimes, such as assault, abuse, neglect, the death of a loved one, a natural disaster, or a chronic or life-threatening illness afflicting themselves or a loved one (source).

So, whether it be the death of a loved one or one of the things mentioned above, most of us have or will face some trauma.

Trauma can overwhelm our natural ability to cope with stress, wreaking havoc on our minds, bodies, and souls. Trauma also increases the risk of mental and physical health problems, addiction, and relationship issues.

Reasons for Hope

The picture I painted above looks bleak. Thankfully, researchers have discovered protective factors. Protective factors are things in the person or environment that can prevent or heal trauma's negative impacts. Some of the most consistent, strongest protective factors are relational ones, such as peer support, closeness to parents, and healthy marriages.

This is because God did not create us to go through life alone, but to be in community with others. As God is a community of three divine Persons, He made us to image this community with each other. Unfortunately, when we face trauma, we can become disconnected from others. Developing and maintaining connections to others can help us heal ourselves and each other when we face trauma or other wounds.

The Sorrows of Mary

Our Blessed Mother also faced many potentially traumatic events.

First, she lived in a country occupied by the violent Roman Empire.
Second, when her Son was born, King Herod forced her family to flee or be killed.
Third, we know from tradition that she lost her husband, Saint Joseph.
Finally, she watched her Son's conviction and execution.

Despite these difficult and traumatic life events, she remained close to the Lord and trusted His goodness.

Mary's Community

Mary's relationship with the Lord helped her get through these traumas, but I think another thing that helped her make it through was her community.

Looking at the events of Mary's life, especially those we meditate on when praying the Rosary, we see that she invested in her community.

At the Visitation, she visits her cousin Elizabeth.
At the Finding of Jesus in the Temple, the Holy Family had just traveled to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover with their local community.
At Cana, Mary celebrates a wedding with friends.
Throughout the Sorrowful Mysteries, she accompanies Jesus on the road to His Crucifixion, accompanied by other women and the apostle John, to whom her Son entrusted her for the rest of her life (see John 19:26).
Finally, according to tradition, Mary was with the Apostles at Pentecost.

It's this last one that I want to ponder more.

Think about what Mary and Jesus' disciples had been through before Pentecost. They watched Jesus be brutally tortured and murdered.

Then, Jesus rose from the dead, spending forty more days with them before being taken to Heaven at the Ascension. They went to the Upper Room to wait for the promised Spirit, and after all they went through the Gospel of Luke tells us that they “returned to Jerusalem with great joy; and they were continually in the temple blessing God” (24:52-53).

Instead of breaking apart, as the trauma they went through may have led to, they chose to listen to Jesus, stay together, and pray together. I imagine Mary was a big encourager of sticking together. The Lord blessed this time by sending the gift of the Holy Spirit, which transformed this group into radical evangelists who spread His Word far and wide, blessed by the presence of the Blessed Mother.

Staying in Touch With Your Community When Facing Your Cross

Many of us have or will face hard times, and we can learn from Mary, who faced many such times, the importance of connection to our community when facing our crosses. This connection can help us find healing through being around people who love and encourage us unconditionally.

There are many ways to build your community, including the following:

Get involved with a Blessed Is She regional group or attend a Blessed Brunch.
Invest in your marriage or your religious community a bit more intentionally if you are in one of those vocations.
Look at the community opportunities your parish has.
Find a group of people who enjoy similar hobbies, such as running or hiking.
Start a small group based on prayer using a Blessed is She study.
Set aside more time to be with friends and family, such as being intentional about dinner together.

Even if you're not facing a serious cross or trauma right now, I still encourage you to invest in your community so that if you do, you have a rock to lean on. You will find that you grow in holiness by being surrounded by people who encourage you on your journey. And you might even be the one to help someone else through trauma as well.

May Mary intercede for those facing trauma to help them find a healing community.

Abby Albrinck is a former clinical psychology graduate student who felt the call to leave behind that field and work in ministry. Now, she uses her background to run Tria Corda Ministry, an online ministry dedicated to educating members of the Church about the effects of trauma and trauma-informed practices. You can learn more about her here.