I like comfortable. I like stretchy pants, and my coffee mug, and I would rather watch a movie that I’ve already seen and enjoyed over watching a new film. I don’t care for change, and I really don’t like the unknown and the frightening. And yet, here we are, preparing for the birth of a new child, and I’m afraid.
When I was pregnant with my son, I spent most of my time consumed with sickness. As his due date loomed nearer, I started to get scared. I was aiming for an unmedicated birth, and the unknown was terrifying. By being open to a new life, I had chosen to walk on to this boat and make my way to a destination without knowing what the journey would look like.
It was a long winter, and a cold spring. One night, in the later evening hours I started to panic. I couldn’t breathe. I dragged my husband out on the porch with me, and he sat and held my hand while I cried and we watched the flakes of a late spring snowfall whirl around our neighborhood. And there in the thirty degree chill of night, I confessed my fear. I was afraid of dying. I was afraid of the unknown of childbirth. He spoke truth to me. He reminded me that he would be by my side, that I was strong, and most importantly, that God would be with me throughout it all.
The day of my son’s birth came, and I took each contraction one at a time. And like the men in that small boat, I invited Christ to step in with me. Not necessarily to end it all, but rather to be with me as we weathered this storm together.
I love that so many of our physical experiences can speak truth about our spiritual ones. How often have I been afraid of the unknown? How many times have I doubted that Christ could walk into the messy storm of my life and calm the raging seas that unbalance me?
What does the storm in your life look like? Are you waiting for the storm to settle or have you invited Christ to step in and love you in this turbulent time?
Jacqueline Skemp is a daughter, sister, wife and mother who endures living in Minnesota after leaving California for her one true love. You can find out more about her here.
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