“But I have testimony greater than John’s. The works that the Father gave me to accomplish, these works that I perform testify on my behalf that the Father has sent me.” // John 5:36
I’ve been asking myself, a lot recently, why I am still Catholic. It’s a hard and scary question to ask. The priest abuse scandals and cover-ups sicken me. The alignment with politics and distancing from social justice actions infuriates me. The lack of fair wages, insurance coverage, and maternity/paternity leave for parish/Catholic school workers saddens me. The statistics of those who do not believe in the True Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist and who are disassociating—or never even associated to begin with—disheartens me.
The list continues and is lengthy.
This doesn’t mean that I’m a bad Catholic. Rather, I see that although Mother Church is meant to be perfect and will be perfected in eternity, her children, who are also meant to be perfect, need repentance, revival, and a resolution to live like Jesus.
The list of why I’m still Catholic is short. Short, and yet it outweighs and outnumbers the former list. I have experienced times where I invited God into my life and times where I hid from Him or asked Him to leave, and I never want to relive the latter again.
I have experienced the Living God through Scripture and the Sacraments of the Catholic Church, and I believe that Jesus is fully present in them. I have experienced the mercy of the Living God so profoundly that it has brought me to my knees in awe and gratitude. I have experienced suffering with the Living God and believe that, although it’s excruciating, He has redeemed it by His Cross and Resurrection. I have experienced mistreatment, misunderstandings, and ridicule in my own small way like the Living God, and I’m thankful that He’s accepted my anger and taught me how to direct it for good. I have experienced the tenderness of love from the Living God and want to be so hidden in His Sacred Heart that people see Him when looking at me.
I’ve read the testimonies of the Saints, heard about miracles, and sat in on theological and philosophical discussions. All of those have helped develop my understanding of the Church. But it has been in responding to the Trinity’s personal invitation of friendship and communion that I know I am where I want to be. And you, sister?