Unable to See Because of the Crowd

“Now a man there named Zacchaeus, who [. . .] was seeking to see who Jesus was; but he could not see him because of the crowd.” // Luke 19: 2-3

I look up from my phone and feel shame as I see how much time has passed. My thumb scrolls through West Coast Swing dance reels and a photo of a toddler from a family I don’t know carrying carrots from a vegetable garden. I read an inspirational post of my friend-turned-life coach, and a famous billionaire tells me how to build wealth in real estate. 

What am I seeking? 

I see the ad for the hair care product I’m not yet using, another striking sculpture of the artist I want to study under, and I wonder if I could join those surfer girls on one of their trips to Nicaragua . . . 

Like Zacchaeus in today’s Gospel, I can’t see Jesus because of the crowd (see Luke 19:1-10).

Who are You, Jesus? I ask as I lay back on the mat in the medical clinic, shifting from numbing and turning to prayer, while I await my next treatment. Jesus invites me to come down. Everything has changed so quickly and health matters have humbled me so low. Jesus invites me to come down from even the good things that have been a support to me and the ways I’ve been climbing for success. In this moment, even in the discomfort, Jesus is passing by. In fact, He’s coming to stay in the home of my heart.

I want to receive Him with joy. 

And I feel so afraid of the suffering. I feel afraid to let go and feel the grief of the loss of what has already been taken. 

But Jesus is passing by. He comes to seek and save me.

Yes, Lord. I give You all I am and all I have. I don’t know what will happen or how this will unfold, but I’m ready. Teach me to see as You see and to love as You love. Welcome into the home in my heart. Come, stay with me. 

Sister, where are you in today’s Gospel story of Jesus with Zacchaeus? What is the “crowd” that blocks your ability to see Jesus? How is Jesus seeking to stay in the home of your heart today?