Remembered In Mercy

Then [Jesus] said to Thomas, “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe.” // John 20:27

Have you ever wondered what it must have been like for Saint Thomas to show up late to the Jesus-seeing party? I often do. I imagine the feelings of being left out, overlooked, forgotten. I can relate because there are moments in my life where this lie of being set aside or forgotten makes its presence known. I have to remind myself of the truth.

I am not forgotten. The Lord remembers me.

Thomas was not forgotten, although perhaps it felt that way to him. He wasn’t set aside or a second thought. Thomas was remembered by the Lord.

How can I be so sure of that? I invite you to go back and read Thomas’ prayer of rebellion. After being confronted with the striking testimony of the others—that they had seen the Lord—he demands, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands and put my finger into the nail marks and put my hand into his side, I will not believe” (John 20:25). Thomas’ unbelief was maybe not so much that Jesus appeared to them but that He appeared to them without Thomas. How could He forget him? 

In the infinite mercy of our Lord—exactly seven days later—this prayer is answered. Our Lord appears again in the room and after greeting the others turns His gaze lovingly to the one who felt forgotten but was not overlooked. Maybe this merciful gaze was enough for Thomas to believe. Yet our Lord recites back to Thomas almost verbatim the prayer of his anguish. He does so as a command: “Put your finger here and see my hands, and bring your hand and put it into my side, and do not be unbelieving, but believe” (John 20:27).

Sister, close your eyes and receive the Lord’s merciful gaze upon you. What is that prayer of rebellion, of anguish, you hold in your heart? Where are those places in your life where you feel forgotten or overlooked? Allow our Risen Lord to look at you and remind you that He remembers you too.