BiS Reads // Holiness For Housewives

It was the perfect storm. It was my scheduled morning out to do whatever I wanted and I was so looking forward to it. I was going to drop my daughter off at school and head to my favorite coffee shop for a few hours. It was going to be amazing. 

That is, until illness caused me to have to cancel our babysitter as she was en route to our house and my grand vision for the day was turned on its head. Suddenly I was no longer walking out the door, but rather, trying to balance a crying newborn on one hip and a crying toddler on the other. 

This was the moment I needed to recall the words of encouragement I had read from a book that my mother gave to me—a book she read herself in her own busy days tending to her seven children. It is titled Holiness for Housewives (and other working women), and it was written by a Benedictine named Dom Hubert Van Zeller.

It is divided into four parts: on the special vocation as a housewife, praying during daily duties, growing holier day by day, and particular prayers for housewives. 

1. Your Special Vocation As A Housewife

This first section reads: “Your occupation, associates, material surroundings, health and strength are there, are real, are the solids, are the substance from which the here-and-now house of God is to be built” (p. 13). 

On this particular day when my plans were upset, God’s will for my day had become clear in a very concrete way. On this day God didn’t intend for me to build up His house through me sitting in a coffee shop. He intended for me to build up His house by being present to my children, brainstorming craft ideas, and spending time outside together during an abnormally warm fall day. 

Van Zeller writes that “it is always the present moment, the present duty, that counts [ . . . ] There is nothing that you are up against that God has not given you the grace to surmount” (p.16). 

This reminder of being present helped me to get off the couch and get outside with my children. 

2. How To Pray Amidst Your Daily Duties

Every day, as soon as my kids are napping, I am tempted to start checking off my to-do list. If I haven’t yet prayed that day, I need to ask God to give me “the grace to surmount” my selfishness in order to pause for a few minutes to be with Him. But when I am going about my daily duties, washing the dishes and sweeping the floor, those can become acts of prayer too. 

Van Zeller writes,“You will have to find a way of communicating with God by means of and not in spite of the calls upon your time and energy and patience” (p. 26). 

He goes on to describe that for one person this might mean singing the Psalms in choir, while for another it could be teaching children. Perhaps it could also mean offering up the suffering one experiences during illness. The point is that when we direct our efforts to the Lord, no matter how small, our effort then becomes a prayer. This is what the Saints did, who “did not start off with the gift of recollection: they practiced dedicating their works to God until it became a habit to dedicate their minutes to Him” (p. 28). 

This reminds me that my prayer does not have to end with the start of my to-do list or the waking of my children. When I orient my daily responsibilities to the Lord in worship, each act I make can then bring Him glory. 

3. How To Grow Holier Day By Day

So often, growing in holiness is simply about opening our hands to receive what God has for us. Yet oftentimes, this can mean accepting the suffering in our lives. 

Van Zeller explains that “love is the end of our endeavor.” Further, “A love that is exacted from the soul by a suffering imposed by God is better than a love that is expressed by a mortification chosen by the soul” (p. 54). 

This is a hard one, as I think it can be tempting to think that a different cross would be easier to bear than our own. Yet it is precisely through bearing the unique grain of our own cross that we become united to Christ in love. 

Van Zeller says further, “In proportion as you draw near to Truth by prayer, you inevitably increase your own conformity to the true patterns of yourself as it exists in the mind of God. And this means that, whatever it feels like, your life is going right” (p. 62). 

4. Prayers For Housewives

This fourth section of the book offers a myriad of prayers: prayers to start and end your day, prayers for special needs, and also books for recommended reading.

One of my favorite prayers listed is the very honest, refreshing, morning dedication:

I place the uncertainties of this day in Your hands, Lord. Turn them into certainties that are bound to bring glory to You. For my part, so far as I can, I foresee the events that either appear on my calendar or simply happen in the ordinary course of routine. These, together with the unforeseen events, I offer to You. Bless also all the interruptions, the accidents, the pleasant surprises, and the sudden disappointments. I might not remember to pray to You at the time, so I now refer all these things to the glory of Your name. Amen. (p.71) 

About Susanna Parent

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Susanna Parent is a regular contributor to the BIS blog, speaker and a freelance writer. While a Wisconsin native, she now begins her mornings brewing French press coffee in the home she shares with her husband and children in the Twin Cities. When the sun sets, you’ll find her with friends enjoying a glass of red wine, preferably outside underneath twinkly lights. When not exploring all that the Twin Cities has to offer, she is indulging her wanderlust spirit by brainstorming their family's next new adventure. You can find out more about her here. Read all of Susanna's posts here.