A Lumpy Breast, A Wise Heart

As I write, I’m sitting in a waiting room, again. More lumps, more biopsies. I’m thinking, “Jesus, You’ve seen my schedule. I don’t have time for this.” In my heart, I sense Him laughing at me and saying, “Oh donkey”—one of His pet names for me—“I do love you.”

My Shepherd is always with me.

Hands down the most compelling definition of “wisdom” I’ve read comes from Father John Wickham who says: “It is the Christian community which ‘holds’ the risen Lord in its depths and retells the story of his life” (source). This is wisdom: holding the risen Christ in my heart and retelling His story.

It bears asking, how “wise” am I? Sitting in the waiting rooms of life, I am quick to hold the suffering Jesus in the depths of my heart, but how well do I hold the risen Jesus there, retelling the story of His life and resurrection? How consistently do I measure everything that’s going on in my life against the mysterious reality of the Resurrection of the body—His body, and one day, my body?

Facing the mighty challenge of his position, Solomon didn’t ask for things to be made easier, he asked for an understanding heart (see 1 Kings 3:9). To attain this, Father Wickham suggests that we “need to commune ‘reflectively’ [with God’s word]—that is, like mirrors catching reflections from an interior Source of light—in order to know and be more fully transformed by the wisdom of Jesus” (source).

I want to take ownership of God’s Word, and, more importantly, to allow the Word to take ownership of me.

And when I do, it settles on me like a warm blanket: I am never without a Shepherd. Not in the biopsy room or in traffic, not in the strain or turmoil of life nor in its peace and joys. He is moved with pity for me and teaches me many things.

My Shepherd is always with me. // Liz KellyClick to tweet

Let us pray today: Jesus, take pity on me. Teach me Your statutes that I may hold them in the depths of my heart. With all my heart I seek You, always I desire to hold You, risen, the conqueror of my sin, my death.

Liz Kelly is a jazz singer who fell in love with Jesus. She writes, teaches, offers spiritual direction and retreats with a special interest in helping women to flourish in their faith. She’s written six books, including the award-winning Jesus Approaches, the Jesus Approaches Take Home Retreat, and the Your Heart, His Home Prayer Companion. And she still sings jazz, but mainly in the tub and while washing dishes. Find out more about her here.