Jesus was in the stern, asleep on a cushion. They woke him and said to him, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?” // Mark 4:38
Almost nothing about the last year and a half of my life has looked the way I thought it would.
In 2020, I anticipated graduating from college, starting work shortly after, and settling into a salary by the time I started graduate school in the fall. I wanted to start off my 20s by paying off my student debt and saving up for car payments (and maybe lattes, I admit). However, with the COVID-19 pandemic, so many of the plans that once gave me a sense of comfort fell apart before I even graduated.
Since I started my Masters program, I have applied for hundreds of jobs and heard back from very few. I go through seasons of truly enjoying my lifestyle as a full-time student, but most of the time, I am provoked by this lingering voice that tells me the Lord has forgotten about me.
Every time I hear this voice, I am reminded of the disciples in today’s Gospel, crying out to Jesus, “Teacher, do you not care that we are perishing?”
Their question pierces me as I know it is so frequently my own question in prayer.
As I write this, I am still in the turbulent storm of unknowing and insecurity. Yet, I know as long as I am in this boat, I am called to be more like Jesus. I am not called to a lifestyle of anxiety or panic. I am not called to be frantic and worried. Like Jesus Who knows the waves and wind respond to the authority of His Father, I am called to rest in the boat.
This Gospel remains one of the greatest companions of my life because when I am flooded with panic about all the things I feel like I am supposed to be doing as a twenty-two year old, I close my eyes and enter this scene with Jesus. I see the storm swirling around us and, in response, I choose a spot close to Him where I can lay down and sleep.
Jesus, make us a people who can sleep through the storm.
Jesus, make us a people who can sleep through the storm. // @saraheerickClick to tweet