Have I Been Judas?

I gave my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who plucked my beard; My face I did not shield from buffets and spitting. // Isaiah 50:6

I knew something was wrong when he wouldn’t look me in the eye.

I pressed him to be honest, and he reluctantly told me what happened. People whom I thought were my friends were shunning me for standing up for my Catholic faith. They no longer wanted me in their lives. I could not believe it. We shared a common love of Our Lord, but some refused to let go of their misguided aversion of the Catholic Church. I was heartbroken and felt betrayed.

In today’s Gospel, Jesus was betrayed on a much deeper level. I can only imagine the pain Our Lord went through knowing that it was a close friend who handed Him over to death. It is easy for me to judge Judas and be sickened by His behavior, but have I not done the same?

Reading the words of Isaiah:

“I gave my back to those who beat me, my cheeks to those who plucked my beard; My face I did not shield from buffets and spitting” (Isaiah 50:6).

Are we not the ones who beat Him, abused Him, and spit in His face every time we chose sin over His love? Have we not been Judas?

I think about this not to fill my heart with shame, but to fill my heart with remorse over my sins and resolve to unite with God’s grace. I want to turn away from sin and bring comfort, not pain, to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

As we approach the Triduum and contemplate the suffering Jesus endured for us, let’s not watch passively, but experience a prayerful repentance of our sins and awe at the depth of love Jesus has for us. He endured every moment of pain and humiliation so we could be saved and united with Him forever.

Dearest Lord, may I never become complacent in my sinful behavior. Move my heart to deeper conversion and greater love of You. May I glimpse the ocean of love You have for me and may my heart be forever united to Yours. I love You. Amen

He endured every moment of pain and humiliation so we could be saved. // Bobbi RolClick to tweet

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About Bobbi Rol

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Bobbi Rol is a wife and mama living on the Monterey Bay in California with her husband, daughter (also a Blessed Is She writer), and three teen boys. When she is not driving her kids to school, practices, and games, she can be found by the ocean, catching a late night movie,  or decorating her planner. She was a contributing author to And Hay Became Holy and our children’s devotional prayer book, Rise Up. Find out more about her at revolutionoflove.com.