Working as a full time youth minister for over a decade, you would assume that I had a disciplined and abundant prayer life, but that wasn’t always the case. For many years I prayed where and how I wanted to and whenever I felt like it. It took me a long time to find a rhythm of prayer that sustained me, and I want to give you the cheat code to develop one for yourself while avoiding the many mistakes I made.
Why Pray?
In the Gospel of Luke, while responding to Martha’s overwhelmed plea for help, Jesus points to Mary’s attentive posture at His feet as the one thing necessary (see Luke 10:38-42) and in Matthew 6, Jesus enjoins us to “strive first for the kingdom of God and his righteousness” (Matthew 6:33). This call to prayer is both an invitation and instruction. Why is He so insistent?
We can find the answer to this question in the Scriptures themselves. Martha’s life of service, as generous and good as it is, is burdensome and unsustainable when fueled by her own strength. Jesus isn’t so much correcting her action as her intention. She’s focusing on the wrong thing, and so life gets overwhelming. Sound familiar?
And in the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus promises that when we seek Him with our whole hearts, “all these things will be given to you as well” (Matthew 6:33). Everything in our lives comes into right order when we put first things first: Jesus.
Our lives belong to and are sustained by God. Jesus is the vine, we are merely the branches (John 15:4). If we want to thrive and bear fruit, we must stay connected to His loving presence throughout our day. No other life hack or organizational system will work to calm our anxious minds, renew our depleted energy, and heal our wounded hearts. He is our daily Bread (see John 6:51), our soul’s sustenance.
Jesus is the One Thing, and He is worthy of our love, attention, and time. So we must make a concerted effort to make prayer primary. But how?
Pitfalls When You Start to Pray
It may seem counterintuitive to start here but I want to save you from turning into a Martha in prayer and doing all the things for Jesus. It can be discouraging to dive into a new and ambitious prayer routine only to find you can’t live up to your own expectations. So consider this a gentle reminder to start slow, start small.
If you don’t have a set aside time of mental prayer, start there. If you have a disciplined daily prayer time, add daily Mass to your routine. You wouldn’t expect a symphony to be written much less performed overnight, so don’t expect to execute prayer perfectly at the start. Build your rhythm of prayer little by little, over time, through repetition. That’s why we call it a prayer practice.
Practical Steps to Find Your Rhythm of Prayer
Whether you’re new to prayer or desiring more structure as a part of your prayer routine, a consistent, set apart time in silence and solitude is essential. The Catechism of the Catholic church reminds us that “we cannot pray ‘at all times’ if we do not pray at specific times, consciously willing it” (CCC 2697). This means a specific place and time every day where we can commune with the Lord. These consistent encounters become touch points in our day, anchoring us in His love.
This prayer is primarily relational. Start with the daily Mass readings or even just the Gospel. The Rosary can be a helpful meditation to quiet our thoughts and turn toward the Lord. Or you may want to start with gratitude. Journaling can be a great way to begin to focus on. These tools will become an entry point into His presence, not the end of prayer itself.
Once we’ve “plugged into” the Vine, we gently put the tool down to give Him our full attention. Over time, our minds and bodies will learn to anticipate this practice, and so we are more readily able to dispose ourselves to the Lord’s presence and receive His look of love. Prayer will get easier to settle into.
Once you’re in the mental prayer routine, build out your rhythm from there. Try integrating daily Mass next. Your relationship with Jesus will become even more vibrant when lived in the rhythm of the Church. Frequent reception of the Holy Eucharist gives us the grace we so desperately need. It’s impossible to outline all the benefits of daily Mass because, in His goodness, the Lord will pour out the spiritual and material blessings that are uniquely meant for you. To begin, start with one day a week of daily Mass until it becomes a habit and build from there.
With the firm foundation of daily prayer and Holy Mass, your rhythm of prayer will naturally start to flow. You’ll become more aware of where the Spirit is leading you and what’s needed in different seasons. Perhaps committing to a regular Confession time is your next step. Maybe a morning daily offering or evening Examen would be helpful for surrendering your day to God. Or you might sign up for a weekly Holy Hour at your local Eucharistic Adoration chapel.
With time, you won’t be just asking the Lord about spiritual things. You’ll begin to ask Him questions about everyday things, like what to read, how to spend your weekend, or when to run an errand. As you open up, it will become more natural to turn your mind and heart to God while driving or enjoying your favorite hobby, too.
God gave us His very life, His Spirit, to live life through Him, with Him, and in Him. He wants to live more of your life with you and share more of His with you. And He wants to overflow into every area of your life.
Benefits of Prayer
Finding and living your rhythm of prayer won’t just change your life, it will change you. With Jesus at the center, you’ll begin to experience a deep rootedness regardless of your circumstances. Your life will begin to flourish in new and unexpected ways which ripples out to others.
Once you’re consistent in your prayer practice, take inventory of how your prayer is changing or serving your relationships. Here are some ideas as to how the Holy Spirit might inspire you to love those around you:
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Start a conversation about the Lord with a coworker
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Attend (or start!) a small group
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Invite your child(ren) to Confession
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Ask one friend to Communion + Coffee
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End your hang-out with a friend with a prayer
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Find a local shelter or ministry to volunteer with
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Smile at the gal next to you in a coffee shop
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Give our Somebody Loves You card to one person a week
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Host a Blessed Brunch
In John 10:10 Jesus declared that He “came that they may have life, and have it abundantly.” As you begin to practice this rhythm of prayer, the abundant life will become more of a reality, not only for you, but for everyone around you. Connected to the Source, you’ll become the world changer you were created to be.
What are helpful things that encourage and develop your unique prayer life with God? What have you learned about yourself and God through a deeper commitment to daily prayer?
A Practical Guide to Creating a Rhythm of Prayer #BISblog //Click to tweet
Beth Davis is a lover of Jesus, a retired youth minister, the Director of Formation for Blessed is She. She is passionate about teaching women how to develop an intimate relationship with Jesus in prayer through writing, speaking, and mentorship. Her favorite things include being the favorite aunt to her five niece and nephews, making friends everywhere she goes, and whatever book she’s currently reading.
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