“So they are no longer two, but one flesh.” // Matthew 19:6
“It’s dementia.”
My mother’s report shook our world. For half a century, she had always been the proactive one. Now, she no longer links faces with names. As dementia slowly locks away her life, it eats away at my dad’s life too. Daily, he watches his vivacious companion of forty-five years slip into the cruel abyss of forgetfulness.
Yet, even in the midst of loss and leeching memories, Dad testifies of a love so transforming, which requires no great effort on his part to serve his beloved, knowing well that she can never reciprocate his kindness. If anything, it fuels him to greater sacrifice and selfless service.
In today’s Gospel, Jesus affirms the unbreakable covenant of marriage: “What God has joined together; man must not separate” (Matthew 19:6).
Meaning, we can’t promise “in sickness and in health” simply based off noble intentions, but only on the solid terrain of God’s love. Only then will our marriages have the potential to thrive, not merely survive.
When my mother offers no glimmer of recognition, when she lashes out, when she forgets Dad’s name, when every re-buttoned shirt and unknotted shoelace is a battle, it is transforming love that secures, soothes, and sanctifies—only Christ’s transforming love.
That sight has broken my heart wide open, hollowed out the hard places, and helped me redefine my own marital commitment. It has shattered my pride and exposed my fleeting promises. And, it has taught me that without being transformed into the image of Christ, I cannot truly witness “I do.”
Sister, I don’t know what painful sickness and suffering has ravaged your marriage today or the marriages of your loved ones. This I know: the grace of the Sacrament is more than sufficient to carry us through.
Christ is not oblivious to our pain nor does He offer plain platitudes. He is a faithful companion Who walks through the mundane and messy places of our marriages, embodying our suffering and transforming us by His love. Sometimes working with Christ’s grace means acknowledging unsafe circumstances, reaching out, and seeking help where needed.
Today, He invites us to this love that frees us to see beyond our present limitations and to hold tight to the One Who promised, “So they are no longer two, but one flesh."
Michelle Karen D’Silva is a wife, mama and friend, constantly pursuing to live “fully alive.” A former atheist, she now carries the Gospel truth globally as Catholic speaker and mentor to future Gen-Z saints. Her passion for women to flourish reflects through her podcast Unravel. Michelle’s favorite hangouts include cozy cafes, shopping sales, and her parish in Qatar, the place of her conversion and one she calls home. Find out more about her here.
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