Maybe A Million Things

I turned 28 a few days ago. I’m single. I’m not in a serious relationship. I have been in serious relationships. I’ve thought that I’ve been on the path to marriage. So far, I’ve been wrong.

If you are reading this on the Blessed Is She website, your eyes might dart over to a photo on the right-hand sidebar. I’m in it. I’m standing next to a large stone chimney, holding a baby while I wear a huge and cozy cardigan. It was taken last September, shortly after I’d turned 27.

You might have seen that picture and thought I was a young mother, comforting my own child. But really, I was standing there, holding this sweet seven-week-old boy, and praying that by this time next year, I would know I was on the path to holding my own child. Maybe the crush I had at the time would have been kindled into a relationship. Maybe I would have met someone new and started dating them. Maybe a million things.

Right now, that path doesn’t seem much clearer to me. Nothing very significant has changed in my love life. If anything, it’s a more bare landscape than it was last year. A lot of times, I feel adrift in my vocation. Each of the last several years, I’ve thought, this is it! This is the year I meet my spouse! Maybe I’ve been wrong. Maybe I’ve been right, but I just don’t know it yet.

In the Gospel, Jesus says: "Again, amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.” (Matthew 18:19-20)

And I believe Him.

I don’t think that every human prayer I utter will be granted in human time in a way my limited human mind can understand. God’s plan for my life, my vocation, my holiness is so much greater than I can perceive at this moment. Only through discernment and prayer can I even begin to understand how He is granting this prayer. I am drawn ever back into community to pray in this way—as two of us agree to pray together, with and for each other.

Pray for me today and I'm praying for you.

God’s plan for my life + holiness is much greater than I can perceive at this moment. // @br1gidClick to tweet

Brigid Hogan is a midwestern graduate student who finds peace in lakes, the Mass, and fiction when she isn’t ensconced in schoolwork. Find out more about her here.