My journey from evangelical Christianity into full communion with the Catholic Church has felt like a reunification with family members I hadn’t known about. When I entered the Catholic Church in 2022, it was such a beautiful surprise to get to meet so many Catholics who love the Lord. What has felt like an even greater spiritual homecoming, though, has been my discovery of the Saints.
Before becoming Catholic, I thought that the Saints, like many other aspects of Catholicism, were a sort of spiritual blockade that got in the way of a person’s relationship with Jesus. I pictured Catholics praying to Saints instead of to Jesus. I didn’t understand why Catholics seemed to elevate God’s creation over the Creator Himself. At times, it seemed like Catholics invoked the Saints in a superstitious sort of way. The whole concept of the Saints made me uncomfortable.
Praying With Catholic Media
Things began to change in September 2020. I was still a practicing Protestant, yet I downloaded the Catholic prayer and meditation app Hallow. I decided to give Hallow a try after hearing about it in a video by Emily Wilson Hussem—a Catholic author and content creator I discovered on YouTube and came to admire. Emily and a couple other Catholics came into my life around the same time and, simply through their lives, challenged my belief that Catholics don’t have a relationship with Jesus.
Some of the prayers on Hallow that I enjoyed most were the Night Prayers, especially the Penitential Act from the Mass in the beginning:
I confess to almighty God
and to you, my brothers and sisters,
that I have greatly sinned,
in my thoughts and in my words,
in what I have done and in what I have failed to do,
through my fault,
through my fault,
through my most grievous fault;
therefore I ask blessed Mary ever-Virgin,
all the Angels and Saints,
and you, my brothers and sisters,
to pray for me to the Lord our God.
As much as I was moved by this prayer, I felt disturbed during the part that asks for the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and the angels and Saints, so I said instead, I’m praying only to you, God.
A couple months later, Hallow introduced me to Father Mike Schmitz’s “Bible in a Year” podcast. I decided to listen to the podcast, thinking to myself: It’s only a reading of the Bible, so it’s fine that a Catholic priest is the host. And when I started it in January 2021, I never would have thought that Father Mike’s commentary would get me to leave the church I was happily attending and enroll in RCIA at my local Catholic parish by September 2021.
The Saints Break Through
I don’t remember when exactly my view of the Saints changed. Compared to the main questions I was wrestling with—Is Jesus really present in the Eucharist? Is the Catholic Church the church Jesus founded?—my objections to the Saints seemed less important. But eventually, I came to understand that through the Communion of Saints, we have the ability to ask the “Church triumphant” (those in Heaven) to pray for us. I saw that praying to Saints is not worship but is a request for their intercession. I began to see the beauty and wisdom of asking those in Heaven, who are living in for eternity in God’s presence, to pray for us. After all, Jesus often healed people as a result of another person’s faithful request for that healing, such as in the healing of the centurion’s servant in Matthew 8:5-13. And Christ’s own statement that “He is not God of the dead but of the living” (Mark 12:27).
As I approached my entry into the Church and it was time to pick a Confirmation Saint, I had no idea who to choose, mainly because I knew of so few Saints. My Confirmation sponsor assured me that a Saint would make him- or herself known to me. After spending some time reading about some Saints online and not feeling a connection to anyone I came across, I decided to narrow the scope down to Saints in the Bible. I felt more comfortable with these people I had known about all my life, even though I had previously viewed them as historic, inspirational figures, not potential spiritual friends.
Saint Peter’s life really resonated with me. I thought about how God powerfully transformed him from a man who struggled with fear overpowering his faith to a man of incredible faith and boldness. I was hesitant to pick the rock on whom Jesus chose to build His church, but I realized I kept feeling drawn to him. After entering the Church and being confirmed in the name of Peter, I started to think of Saint Peter as a spiritual big brother. I often look to him for inspiration and ask him to pray for me. One time in particular stands out.
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Forgiven, Like Saint Peter
Several months after entering the Church, I planned to see a Protestant friend I hadn’t seen in a while. I was looking forward to seeing her, and I was excited to share with her the graces I had experienced since entering the Church. I knew that she wasn’t actively practicing her faith, so I hoped I could encourage her to take her faith more seriously. I prayed for opportunities to share with her, that the Holy Spirit would give me the words to say, and that she would be open to what I had to say.
When the day came, there arose multiple opportunities to share about my relationship with Jesus, just as I had been praying for. But I was suddenly scared of being vulnerable and sharing about how much Jesus had been working in my life. I continued praying, but fears of awkwardness or judgment caused me to speak only in a general, watered-down way. I was incredibly disappointed and felt like I had effectively denied the importance of Jesus in my life because of the tiniest fears.
I asked Jesus to forgive me for allowing my fears to stop me from fully talking about Him (and knew that He had forgiven me). I was planning on going to an Adoration event the next evening, and I felt like I needed to unburden myself first by bringing this to Jesus in the Sacrament of Confession. The parish I went to for Confession had the Blessed Sacrament exposed in the sanctuary, and I continued talking with Jesus about how I felt as I was in line. I suddenly realized that I knew someone who knew exactly how I was feeling—Saint Peter!
I talked to Peter about the situation and asked him to pray for me to have confidence in Jesus’ boundless mercy and for the grace to grow in faith and boldness, as he did. During Adoration later that evening, I felt strongly that I needed to read the Gospel account of Jesus talking to Peter after Peter’s threefold denial and Jesus’ Resurrection–where Jesus asks Peter three times if he loves Him and gives Peter responsibility over His flock (see John 21:15-17). I pictured myself on that beach in the early morning, professing my love to Jesus and being forgiven.
In the Communion of Saints
Saint Peter was my foray into the Saints and inspired me to get to know more Saints. Spending time with the Saints has been such a blessing. In Saint Francis de Sales, I’ve found a brother who shares my desire to bring the truth and goodness of the Catholic Church to Protestants. In Saint Maximilian Kolbe, I’ve found a brother who shares my desire to evangelize through the media. In Saint Thérèse of Lisieux, I’ve found a sister who encourages me to approach my loving Father as a little child.
I used to think that the Saints got in the way of a relationship with Jesus. But I now see that they help us develop a deeper relationship with Him. The Christian life is hard. And the Church, in her wisdom, holds up particular people—the Saints—as examples of those who lived the Christian life well. They had their struggles and faults like we all do, but they continually said yes to God and allowed His love to transform them and create a beautiful masterpiece out of their lives. I enjoy looking back now and realizing that even though I tried to reject their prayers before, the Saints were always there praying for me and cheering me on.
Author Bio: Lindsay Baxter enjoys long walks (especially at the beach), stand up paddle boarding, and reading and writing about the Saints. She entered the Catholic Church in 2022 after being a non-denominational Christian. She loves the Sacraments and learning about the Church.
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