During the fourth watch of the night, he came toward them, walking on the sea. // Matthew 14:25
Have you ever felt like you are drowning? I remember having one such moment, where reality felt like a series of crashing waves created to disorient me. Life got to be too messy and the demands of love too burdensome. I was out of my depth and realized that I had no foothold to land on. Swallowed in this chaos, I felt overwhelmed, alone, and unseen.
I took a drive to clear my mind, hoping that the familiar (and typically peaceful) route would help to navigate this ever-growing uncertainty inside of me. Driving down that path with the mountains opening in front of me, I finally cried aloud, “I need help.” I heard the Lord respond to my cry with a question to my heart, Am I enough for you? In that moment, I remembered the ever-present God Who is my inheritance. I remembered that He sees me and He loves me. I remembered.
“He came toward them, walking on the sea” (Matthew 14:25).
Today’s Gospel tells of the disciples living through another turbulent storm, very aware that it was the fourth watch (hours between 3 a.m. and 6 a.m.) of their chaotic night. Reading today’s Gospel again though, I was reminded that Jesus was aware too.
Jesus’ gaze was on His disciples, and He was more aware than they of the sea’s movement and which night watch it was. Amid doubt and despair, we often think that we are the only ones suffering, alone and forsaken. How often do we believe that God forgets us? How often do we forget that Christ’s gaze is always on us? How often do we underestimate that the Spirit Who “hovered over the face of the waters” (Genesis 1:2) is the same Spirit present in the storms of our lives?
Abba Father, help us to remember that the storms in our lives and in this world answer to You alone. Speak Your word of peace into our chaos. Give us the grace to rest in Your ever-loving gaze, confident that as the storms may rage, You are more than enough for us.
He sees me and He loves me. // Senite SahlezghiClick to tweet
Senite Sahlezghi is a consecrated virgin for the Archdiocese of Denver. Native to Colorado, she is a first generation Eritrean American, is a Licensed Professional Counselor with a master’s in Counseling Psychology, and serves as the School Counselor for St. John Paul the Great Catholic High School. Grateful to be in a place surrounded by mountains and live music, the greatest privilege of her life remains being called to be Christ’s bride.
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