“Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.” // Luke 2:48
Feast of the Immaculate Heart of Mary
Jesus hangs on the cross, which hangs above the altar. The priest prays the words of consecration, and the server rings the bells. The congregation shifts. The choir begins. The boy next to me scratches at himself. He twists his clothes. Thick tears balance on the cusp of his eyes. His knees bounce. He is running out of time. I look at Jesus on the cross and I wonder if He felt the same crushing anxiety, too.
I place my hand on his back and whisper in his ear. He nods his head yes and tears pour down his face, perhaps because now he knows there’s an escape. Perhaps because he is embarrassed. Whatever the reason, we exit the pew and head outside where he breathes deeply and shakes his shoulders, like he’s trying to cast off the anxiety that burdens him.
My heart is heavy for him and filled with so many questions. I think of the Blessed Mother’s heart and paraphrasing her I pray, “Lord, why have You done this to us? He has such great anxiety.”
The Child Jesus answered His mother, but there is no answer for me. I don’t hear the Lord in any way, but there does seem to be a grace given in that moment to do what needs to be done, to love and be present. It’s a comfort to me that Mary and Joseph were anxious at times. On my hardest days, when my heart is overwhelmingly burdened with the suffering of those around me, I think of Mary’s heart, pondering, loving, consoling, and—at least once—anxious about her precious Son.
Perhaps there is something in your life causing you anxiety, a trouble in your heart that you cannot shake. May Mary’s Immaculate Heart draw us all closer to her Son’s most Sacred Heart, and may we all find solace therein. Amen.
Bonnie Engstrom is a writer, baker, speaker, and homemaker. She lives with her husband and eight children in Illinois. Bonnie is the author of 61 Minutes to a Miracle which tells the story of her son’s miracle that was approved by Pope Francis for the beatification of Venerable Fulton Sheen. She is the author of Blessed Conversations Mystery: Believe. Find out more about her here.
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