But they did not understand the saying, and they were afraid to question him. // Mark 9:32
What does that mean, Lord? my bewildered heart implored as I wrestled with the words that had blossomed from my customary time of silent prayer after Holy Communion. Was my Eucharistic Spouse really telling me it was time to uproot myself from the parish I called home and allow Him to nurture my charisms and gifts elsewhere?
I echoed this possibility in my daily conversations with the Lord and in subsequent meetings with my spiritual director, who gently bid me not to be troubled as I awaited clarity. And so, I kept asking for it, pondering the words I had received and questioning what Christ wanted me to know.
The answers I sought did come in time, but they were different than what I expected and, honestly, a tad harder to swallow.
In today’s Gospel, the disciples, too, find it difficult to digest the information our Lord reveals to them when speaking about the brutality and future glory that awaits Him (see Mark 9:30-32). They are afraid to ask Jesus what it all means, not because they fear Jesus Himself, but because they are afraid of the answers He might give in response, answers that could radically upend everything.
How often do we do the same? We hold back from asking the very questions that weigh heavy on our minds and hearts, afraid that the answers will take shape in the form of rejection, disappointment, or a call to deeper conversion. But, friend, when we hide behind masks of silence and fear, we create obstacles to experiencing the Lord’s divine plan in our lives and in the depths of our hearts. As today’s Second Reading reminds us, we cannot possess if we do not ask (see James 4:2).
Whenever you pray, let the questions flow. And don’t be afraid of what Jesus wants to tell you. The answers He holds in His Heart are just for you, dear sister, conceived from His perfect plan to lead you into deeper trust and surrender. So, ask Him anything, and then be still as He lifts every cloud of confusion with His loving truth.
Cathy Webb is a consecrated virgin for the Diocese of Wilmington and the creator of the Sacred Heart to Heart prayer journal. A full-time Library Assistant, she finds joy in embracing the sacrament of the present moment and spreading the fragrance of Love everywhere she goes. She also treasures large cups of tea; her Chihuahua, Lucy; and anything Saint Therese. When she’s not writing and creating for the Kingdom, she can be found wearing a pretty dress while adoring the Heart of her Divine Spouse in the Eucharist. She is a contributing author to Blessed Conversations: Home. Find out more about her here.
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